I am 60 years old. In order to support my old age, I broke up my son's family. Until I almost broke up my daughter's family, I understood how to support my old age
I am Aunt Qing, my hometown is in a small town, my wife works in the unit, and I am a female factory worker.
My wife and I were married for 3 years, and we gave birth to a pair of twins , which are two brothers and sisters.
At this time, my wife happened to be transferred to the city for her good work performance, which is a double happiness.
After I finished confinement, I went to the factory to resign, and moved to the city with my two children and my wife.
I take care of my children at home, my wife earns money from work, and lives in a house allocated by the unit. Although I am not rich, I am also very happy.
Unfortunately, when the children were over 5 years old, my wife suddenly fell ill. After more than a month of treatment, she spent all her family savings and failed to keep him. He left alone.
After my wife left, I felt that the sky was falling and I was heartbroken, but looking at the two children under 6 years old, I had to cheer up.
The leader of my wife's unit, I feel sorry for us orphans and widows, and we are helpless in the city. The house continues to be with us. My neighbor's aunt also helps me take care of the children. I went to find a job to wash dishes.
The two children are also very sensible. At a young age, they seem to know that my problems are not easy, and they never make noises.
Cross and summers, days pass by quietly in the face of difficulties, the children are all in high school, but my income alone is still too meager to support my two children in school.
After my second year of high school, my daughter gave up the opportunity to go to school and went to a factory to work, earn money to subsidize her family and provide her brother with her schooling.
The son was very successful and successfully got into college. After graduating from university, he joined the unit and his salary was good.
After the son worked for a year, his daughter and her boyfriend who had been in love for three years were preparing to get married. The son-in-law is from the city and has only a child. His family is not bad.
When my daughter got married, the in-laws gave me a bride gift of 30,000 yuan. I didn’t keep it myself and took it back to my daughter’s dowry.
The next year, my son is also preparing to get married. His son’s girlfriend is his college classmate and a city native.
The woman's parents require that after the children get married, they cannot live with their mother-in-law. They will pay for the wedding house and do not need a bride price. The man only needs to pay for the banquet.
After hearing this, my son was very happy that he could marry his beloved girl without raising money to buy a house by himself.
But I firmly disagree because after my wife passed away, many people wanted to marry me, but I refused. My purpose was to raise my children well and live with him after my son got married.
The old saying goes, raising a child to prevent old age. I raised my son so old, just because I wanted him to support me. Now I won’t agree if my son doesn’t let him live with me.
I said to my son, "If you agree to their conditions, I will die to show you."
The son had no choice but to break up with his classmate. In this way, my son's marriage was ruined.
Half a year later, my son has a girlfriend again, and he is an employee of his partner. After more than a year of negotiation, he is preparing to get married.
This time, the woman’s parents had no requirements, saying that as long as two young people could be happy, it would be fine.
After the son got married, he raised money with his daughter-in-law to provide a three-bedroom house.
At that time, the house of my deceased husband's unit that I had been living in was about to move. I lived in vain for so many years and it was time to give it to others, so I simply lived in my son's house.
Just started living with my daughter-in-law and got along quite well, but after she gave birth to a grandson for me, we had a lot of conflicts.
The daughter-in-law spent money and insisted on using diapers for her child. The thing was expensive. I asked her to use the diapers I made myself. She said that the diapers were not good, and we were quarreling about this.
and she also wants to buy milk powder to feed the child, so I insisted on letting her breastfeed. We argued endlessly about this matter. In short, the contradictions came one after another, which was all kinds of disagreements.
Every time I have a conflict with my daughter-in-law, my son doesn’t ask the reason, just say that I’m wrong and doesn’t understand me at all, which makes me heartbroken.
is like this, life is noisy, and more than three years have passed, and my grandson has reached the age of kindergarten. I said that if I have time to take care of it, don’t waste the money I went to kindergarten, anyway, I can’t learn anything in kindergarten.
My daughter-in-law refused and said that she should not lose at the starting line. We had another big fight over this matter, which made me so angry that I smashed the TV at home.
At this time, my daughter-in-law actually asked my son to make a choice and asked my son whether to choose me or her.
If my son wants to keep me in this home, then she will divorce my son and she will leave.
I cried aggrievedly, calling my son unconscience and forgot my mother after marrying my wife.
My son had no choice but to divorce. The grandson belonged to his daughter-in-law and the house was divided equally. After the daughter-in-law gave half of the house payment to his son, the son moved to the company dormitory angrily, and I became homeless.
I had to go to my daughter's house to live, but when I arrived at my daughter's house, I found that my daughter's in-laws had moved in and lived with me. Without my room, I could only sleep in the sofa bed in the living room.
At my daughter's house, I couldn't stand the behavior of the two in-laws. They spoiled the children too much and spoiled my grandson. He bought whatever he wanted, and the toys were piled up on the ground.
Once, I couldn't stand it anymore, so I said a few words to them, but the other person was unhappy and scolded me in front of my daughter and son-in-law.
For this reason, we started arguing, and our daughter and son-in-law almost divorced.
Later, it still went to the neighborhood committee, and it was finally settled after mediation by the neighborhood committee members. The person from the neighborhood committee of
talked to me for an afternoon, and then I realized that I had done something wrong. I shouldn’t interfere too much in the lives of young people, nor should I interfere in the lives of my in-laws.
Moreover, I misunderstood the meaning of raising children to prevent old age. I thought that if I live with my children, I should live with my children and live in the same house to be happy.
I didn’t expect that because of the age difference, there will be various different concepts, and thus various contradictions will arise. I was wrong.
After thinking through these, I thought of what I had done before, and I really couldn't forgive myself. When I thought of my grandson, I was so sad that I couldn't sleep for several nights.
For the sake of my grandson, I decided to go to my ex-daughter-in-law and beg her to remarry my son.
I first admitted my mistake to my former daughter-in-law and promised that after they remarry, I will not live with them. I will rent a house in the community where they live, be closer to them, and have a care for each other.
My daughter-in-law and my son had a good relationship. I saw that I was wrong and they remarried for the sake of the children and asked me to live with me, just hope I would not interfere too much in their affairs.
I didn't agree, and I decided to rent a house by myself. When I was so old that I couldn't move, others were unwilling to rent the house to me, and I would go back to my son's house to live, or go to a nursing home.
My son couldn't persuade me, so he rented a one-bedroom house in the same community. He paid the rent and he gave me another 1,000 yuan of living expenses every month, and his daughter also gave me 1,000 yuan.
After they go to work, I will help them clean up the house and pick up their grandson to and from school.
During the day, I still take on a little work job. At night, I take a walk with the old ladies in the community and dance square dance together, and no longer mix with the children's lives.
On weekends, sometimes my daughter comes to pick me up to her house for dinner, and sometimes my daughter-in-law asks me to go home for dinner. My life is getting happier and happier, and my relationship with my sons is getting more and more harmonious.
It turns out that in nurturing old age does not mean that you have to live with your children, but that you have to keep a certain distance in order to live a happy and enjoy your old age.
@Muziyan Story : Thank you Aunt Qing for sharing. Fortunately, you have woken up, otherwise everyone will really have a hard time.
family affection between , the fragrance is far away and the smell is near, and the distance is beautiful .
As parents, when they can take care of themselves, they should not live together if they can’t live together. The elderly should have their own living space and circle and live their own life well.
There is a saying: "The most insurmountable gap between people is the difference in cognition."
People with different cognitions, barely living together will only torture and consume each other.
The older generation has the life that the older generation wants, and young people have the life that the young people want.
Less contact with each other and less fingers, and they can be peaceful and happy in their later years. !
Friends, do you have any good ways to retire? Welcome to leave a message to share.
