A woman's tragedy
Author: Scholar
(I)
Tianshan There is a famous military reclamation city built by three generations of military reclamation. It is not only called "Little Shanghai" by the world, but also has a resounding name Green City.
The famous poet Ai Qing, who lives and works here, once praised her like this: "I have been to many places, and the youngest in this city. What kind of green is this?--"
There is a magnificent building complex in the southeast corner of Greentown-the high school city. The people call it the cradle of talents. In recent years, the high school city has become famous. From here, there are countless students who have entered famous schools such as Peking University , Tsinghua , etc. Students call it the palace in their minds, because going to school here means future and status.
Early in the morning, Xiuying had just stepped into the school gate and her phone rang. "Teacher Xiuying, please come to my office?" It was the principal's phone call. So Xiuying hurried to the principal's office of .
"Teacher Xiuying, is there anything wrong with the family recently?"
"No, what happened to the principal?"
"A teacher reported that you didn't seem to be very concentrated when you were in class recently. Is that true?"
"Is that true? It seems to be a little bit, this---" Xiuying stammered and didn't know what to say. While promising to the principal, she hurried out of the principal's office. Along the way, the principal's advice still echoed in his ears.
"Teacher Xiuying, you are the leader of our subject and the head teacher. You can't be careless at all, parents and students are looking forward to it. If there are really any difficulties at home, just say that the school will definitely find a way to solve it."
Indeed, Xiuying is a little uneasy in recent days. The reason is that a student in her class just transferred from the yard. This student looks very much like her brother who has been sacrificed for more than ten years. His movements and behaviors are the same. Especially when talking to you, the action of putting a pen in his hand and holding his chin is simply a copy of his brother. One day in self-study class, Xiuying took out a photo of her brother when she was young from home, sat diagonally opposite the student, and quietly compared it. The more she looked, the more she looked, just like her brother was sitting next to her back.
(II)
Late at night, Xiuying finished correcting the student's homework, pressed her left hand and stood up, stretched out her numb arms, and took a few long breaths of air, feeling much more comfortable.
Xiuying moved to the window, and looked out, and there were only a few stars flashing. At this time, the figure of the student who looked similar to his brother appeared in front of him again.
"How could it be so similar? Is there such a coincidence in the world?" Xiuying murmured as she paced.
"Is it her?" Xiuying's eyes lit up. "No, it's impossible. My brother died before he got engaged to her at that time."
Since the emergence of strong strength in childhood, Xiuying's mood has touched her a lot. These days, two figures swayed in front of you from time to time, one was the brother and the other was the little Jianqiang. I always want to give myself an answer, but I feel very conflicted.
Xiuying sat down, holding a photo of her brother's sacrifice in one hand and holding her chin with the other. My thoughts pulled her back to that turbulent era.
Xiuying's parents gave birth to two brothers and sisters, and the brother was three years older than her. Since her parents were labeled as rightists and sent to the labor reform farm, she and her brother were left to depend on each other. My brother washed her clothes, cooked and took care of her life. But my brother was less than sixteen years old at the time and was still a child who needed care.
The brother is going to "go to the countryside". He can't bear to leave his young sister, so he simply takes his sister to "go to the countryside" with him. In the spring of this year, Xiuying, her brother and a large group of older brothers and sisters came to Mosuowan Farm while singing revolutionary songs.
Although life on the farm is a bit hard, the elder brother and sister are very enthusiastic. Every day when I go to work, I sing "Highly, proudly---" as if I am heading to the Korean battlefield. Not long after, after this enthusiasm passed, some brothers and sisters could not hold on.Some were nagging, some were angry, and some were wandering around, and Xiuying also cried a lot. My brother is different from them. When I go to work, I bring books and read them whenever I have time. Sometimes when Xiuying wakes up in the middle of the night, she still sees her brother reading. Another difference is Sister Shuhui. Every morning when she wakes up, she calls Xiuying a wash water and combs her hair. This older sister who usually needs someone to take care of at home has become a young adult.
One day, Xiuying couldn't help asking Sister Shuhui.
"Why do you take care of me?"
"Your brother and I are classmates, and her sister is my sister," Shuhui replied with a smile. Instead, he asked, "What, am I not taking good care of you? Then, I will ignore you tomorrow."
Now Xiuying was anxious and kept saying, "Good sister, good sister, don't be angry. I just like you."
"Then, you have to be obedient, and I will study with me today, and I will teach you," Shuhui said with a serious inspiration.
During the years when he went to the countryside with his brother, it was also Xiuying's happiest time. Not only did he take care of his brother, but his sister Shuhui was also caring for her carefully. My brother and Shuhui are all relatives in Xiuying's heart, and the impression they impressed in her heart is also profound.
Later, the brother unfortunately died in an accident. I only remember that Sister Shuhui was holding her brother's body, and she was so painful that she was dying. Her painful look made many people cry. Later, Xiuying was taken care of as a hero's sister and arranged a job. Since then, Xiuying has never seen Sister Shuhui again, she has lost information and lost contact.
(Wednesday)
One day, Xiuying was preparing lessons in the office, and heard someone shouting behind her: "Teacher Li, my composition book has been left at home. Will I send it to you tomorrow?" Xiuying turned around and saw that it was and strong . She felt a little nervous and said with a smile: "Okay, OK, you can just send it to my office tomorrow."
Xiuying stares at the strong. He is 1.7 meters tall or eight meters strong, and looks particularly strong, with a fair face and a pair of bright and transparent eyes. Looking at Xiuying, she couldn't help but blurt out: "It's so similar, it's so similar.
strong and felt a little restrained, so she hurriedly asked: "Teacher Li, what's so similar? "
" No, nothing. "Siuying also felt that she was a little out of control at this time, so she immediately calmed down. When she found Jianqiang turned around and wanted to leave, she hurriedly grabbed Jianqiang's hand and said, "Jianqiang, can I talk to you?" "
" OK, where is it? "
"Go to the playground."
In a quiet place on the playground, Xiuying stopped and asked with a smile: "Strong, you just came here. Are there any difficulties in studying? "
" is OK, but I just came here and I was not familiar with my classmates, so it was a bit difficult to communicate. "
" is it? My daughter is also in this class. Her name is Xu Xiaoyan. I will introduce you to you one day. "
Xiuying talked with Jianqiang for a long time, but still didn't go to the topic. She always felt uncomfortable and was troubled by an urgent and worried feeling. Although she is a teacher with decades of teaching experience, she still has no idea at this time.
"Jianqiang, can you tell me about the situation in your family? "Xiuying moistened her throat and asked with relief.
"Grandpa and grandma retired and bought a house in Greentown, so we moved here. Grandpa said this would be beneficial to my college entrance examination. "
"You grew up with grandpa and grandma, right? "Siuying seemed to realize something.
" Yes, my parents were on the shiye farm, and they were very far away from us. My mother said that I would go to school at Mosuowan Farm to be a companion for my grandfather and grandma. "
"Are there any photos of your mother?"
was stunned for a moment, took out his cell phone from his pocket, smiled and said, "Yes, yes, it's stored in the cell phone, my mother is so beautiful.
Xiuying took the phone from Jianqiang's hand and looked at it. The smile on her face immediately froze.
Jianqiang looked at Xiuying in surprise and asked, "Teacher Li, do you know my mother?"
"What's your mother's name?"
"Cao Ailing."
"Can you tell me your mother's phone number? When you visit your home, you can chat with your mother."
"Okay, I remember hearing from my mother that she seems to know you too, and she said she will take time to make a splash with you for a while."
Jianqiang walked for a long time, and Xiuying stood there alone. I thought to myself, judging from the photos, she should be Sister Shuhui. Although she has lost weight, her shadow was still there. Why did she change her name and why did she run to Shinodi Farm?
Xiuying thought about it for a long time and decided to call and contact her.
(IV)
On Beiziwu Road, there is a famous Xiadao Cafe. This name has been mentioned many times in the emotional confidence column of the Beijiang Morning Post. Now Xiuying has also decided to be fashionable. She chose a place by the window to sit down, and Sister Shuhui's figure flashed rapidly in her mind. She is looking forward to a reunion in sixteen years.
"It's Xiuying," a crisp cry broke Xiuying's meditation.
"Yes, yes, I am." Xiuying was still a little excited despite making full preparations and quickly got up and gave up her seat.
The two little girls back then have now become middle-aged women with a full body. The two of them looked at each other carefully at each other's eyes.
Shuhui looks a little older than her actual age, and the ruthless wind and sand on the farm left many traces of destruction by her over the years. Her face was a little dark and rough, and a rose-colored gauze was surrounded by her neck, which was simple and mellow. The contrast between Sooyoung and Shuhye is a bit big, maybe it is because of her professional role, and her face is fair. A pair of beautiful big eyes exudes wisdom and intelligence.
"You are still so beautiful, look, I have become an old woman." Shuhui first broke the tranquility.
Xiuying retracted her thoughts and said embarrassedly: "It's not that serious. You are my sister, of course you look a little bigger."
Then she was calm again. The aroma of coffee wafted over. Shuhui picked up the cup and took a sip. She seemed to be uncomfortable. She hurriedly put it down. She looked at Xiuying and said, "I'm not used to this taste. brick tea is better."
"Yes, yes, I haven't been here for many years---" Xiuying stopped talking.
"Sister Shuhui, are you doing well?"
"How to say it, can you live a hard life?"
"Why don't you contact me, Sister Shuhui?"
"Xiuying, I know what you meant to ask me for a date today. We are all descendants of military reclamation people, and we speak straightforwardly. You must have seen your brother's figure from the strong body. Yes, he is the child of your brother and me."
"Ah," Although Xiuying was mentally prepared, she couldn't help but be shocked when she heard this sentence.
Shuhui took the bitter coffee potassium and sipped with tears in her eyes, trying hard to control the tears to not roll down. Seeing this, Xiuying handed over the tissue, she held it in her hand, and said with sadness: "The price I paid for this child is too high----"
Shuhui still couldn't control it, and the bitter tears rolled down one by one. Xiuying hurried over and hugged Sister Shuhui who was sobbing.
"We are all miserable women----" Shuhui choked and couldn't continue.
(5)
A philosopher once said that women who are suffering have the same result, but the ways of suffering are different.
After about half an hour, Shuhui's mood was a little stable. Just tell Xiuying a lot.
In the last year of "going to the countryside", your brother and I fell in love. I love her smart, studious, positive and indomitable personality. Your brother loves me very much, and we have left our love footprints in the fields, in front of and behind the house. We vow to love each other for a lifetime and stay together for a lifetime.This may be the result of the collision of two lonely hearts in that era.
One day, I found out that I was pregnant and was so scared that I went to find your brother quietly. The result of my discussion was that I went to Greentown Hospital to find my aunt to have a child early the next morning.
Who knew that on that night, your brother went to the field to water and fell into the quagmire and died. While sorting out his belongings, I found a letter he wrote to me before he set off. The letter said that he hopes to marry me as soon as possible, shoulder the responsibility of a man, and cannot sacrifice the crystallization of love without any loss, otherwise he will regret it for life. He said that if you love a woman, you must dare to act, be responsible for this woman, and be responsible for her life.
To be honest, I was moved by your brother's letter. I decided to give birth to this child for your brother at that time. But this promise is too sudden, childish, and ridiculous, and I don’t know how difficult the future will be.
Speaking of this, I should thank my parents. I have a pair of great fathers and mothers. When I learned about my feelings for your brother and my decision, my father resolutely said: "Leaving descendants for the martyrs is the spirit of our Corps. We cannot let the heroes' blood flow in vain. We will raise them when they give birth to children. But this will make you suffer, my child."
An unmarried girl gives birth to a child is a shameful thing, and rumors can kill people. Later, with the help of my aunt, I successfully gave birth to strong. However, it took a lot of trouble to be strong. My father thought about it and said that he had many children in his cousin and could not afford to raise it, so he sent it to Xinjiang. From then on, I became an aunt for Jianqiang.
Later, I changed my name and married to Shinodi Farm. He also gave birth to a beautiful daughter, Beibei. When my daughter was five years old, my husband knew the origin of the strong and insisted on explaining the reason. I wanted to ask for my husband's forgiveness if I made it clear, but unfortunately she filed for divorce.
"Sister Shuhui, then you are taking care of two children by yourself, right?" Xiuying couldn't help but interrupt when she heard this, and then pulled Shuhui's hand tightly and said, "Sister, you are so great. I'll thank you for my brother, and I'll thank you for our whole family. It would be great if my dad was still alive."
"After the divorce, I was a little desperate, so I asked for your news and prepared to return the strength to you. When I knew that your father was persecuted to death, my mother was mentally ill, and you were still divorced, I didn't have the nerve to go to you."
"Good sister, this is your fault. Two people are better than one person."
" It's not easy either."
" Oh, Xiuying. I heard that your ex-husband's child is also here. Your task is heavy enough. "
" Good sister, I won't say anything else today. I should fulfill my obligations to my brother. It's my brother who takes care of me and grow up, and I will raise his children for him. In the future, I will go to high school and go to college. "
" Xiuying, this is too bitter for you."
" No, there will always be a time when the hardships are over. When our children grow up, the pain will be over. "
(Six)
late at night, it was a bit terrible, only quartz clock ticking. After Xiuying corrected the student's homework, she still didn't feel sleepy, so she looked at the Quartz Bell in a daze.
Since accepting the strong, Xiuying has found another part-time job. Of course, the purpose is to earn more money to raise three children, but there is another secret in my heart, that is, to pass on the lonely and boring days.
Entering the second half of the night, the house began to cool down. Xiuying got up and found a piece of clothing to put on it, and poured herself a glass of boiled water. After taking a sip of tasteless boiled water, I glanced at the empty bedroom, and felt sad again.
Xiuying originally had a happy family, and the couple was quite loving, especially after she had a daughter, she was immersed in the honeypot almost every day.
In the mid-1980s, Xiuying's husband began to be dissatisfied with the poor life of a teacher.One day, he told Xiuying, "One of my classmates' business in Shenzhen is getting bigger and want to find a helper. I want to go to Shenzhen to make a comeback. Do you think it's OK?"
"What should I do with my current job?"
"First take a job off salary first, and when we get along there, our family will move out together, and we don't want to work. Nowadays, everything can be done with money."
Xiuying failed to stop her husband's feat. To be precise, she didn't stop it. Because, in this family, she has always been obedient and revolved around her husband. She knew it was useless to stop it, and she knew who her husband was. My husband is a proud and never convinced of the people around him. Sometimes he even boasts that he is a person who does a great career.
The husband has left and never came back. In a blink of an eye, her daughter should go to middle school. Xiuying, relying on her meager income, assumed the obligation to raise her daughter and support her mentally ill mother alone.
Since my husband left, there was still a phone call or something at first, and there was almost no news after a long time. Xiuying began to worry, wondering how his job in Shenzhen was like. I thought to myself, even if I don’t have a job, I won’t even have a phone call. She knew that her husband was a person who loved face, and maybe she was embarrassed, but I was your wife and what else could she not say. Thinking about it again, I wouldn’t be surprised, I’m afraid I’m worried.
Xiuying started to get lost. She finally got through the summer vacation and asked someone to find the address of her husband's classmate and took her daughter to Shenzhen.
In Shenzhen, her husband's classmate received her. As soon as we met, the classmate asked curiously: "How did you find this place?"
"Don't my husband work here with you?"
"He hasn't worked with me for a long time, so he has set up a new account."
"Then do you know where he is now?" Xiuying asked anxiously.
"What's wrong with him?"
"I'm his wife and a daughter."
"Didn't you divorced a long time ago?"
"Ah, ah---?" Xiuying was shocked when she heard this. She didn't say anything for a long time.
"I heard that you divorced a few years ago. He got married again in Shenzhen and had a son. He is almost five years old."
These words are no less than a bolt from the blue for Xiuying. He fainted in her husband's classmate's office at that time. My daughter cried all her life after seeing it.
(7)
When Xiuying woke up, she was already lying in the hospital, and her daughter was sobbing and guarding the bedside. My husband's classmate kept turning back and forth in the ward, cursing: "After a while, when this unscrupulous grandson comes, I will deal with him well."
The husband is here, and Xiuying takes a look and closes her eyes in pain. My husband's classmate cursed: "This is all your good things-----" and left after that.
The husband sat dejectedly beside the bed, his daughter's eyes blurred with tears, and she shook her father's arm while crying: "Dad, dad, what should I do with my mother---." The daughter's crying sounded like thousands of steel knives penetrated Xiuying's heart deeply, and tears poured out of the corners of her eyes and flowed on her cheeks. The daughter stopped crying sensibly as soon as she saw it, and quickly wiped her mother's tears with a towel.
Xiuying tried to get up, but she felt that she had no strength at all. She said to her daughter weakly, "Child, help mom up, let's go back to Xinjiang." Her husband hurriedly said, "How could you be in this health? Let's talk about it when you are well." Xiuying ignored her husband's words. This time, the blow to Xiuying was too big, and she suddenly felt exhausted, so she had to lie back on the bed weakly.
Three days have passed, Xiuying's water and rice are not finished at all, and her face is yellow. The daughter snuggled tightly in her mother's arms, afraid that her mother would have something to do. Looking at my well-behaved daughter, my eyes hurt but I couldn't shed tears. For three days, she had her tears dried up. She rubbed her aching eyes and hugged her daughter's head and choked slightly.The murmur sounds made in his mouth can only be heard by his daughter. "Good daughter, what should mom do? Mom can't bear to leave you, nor can I leave you behind."
The husband came again, repeating his reasons repeatedly. "Xiuying, I'm really sorry for you and the child. I'm a sinner. But God is too unfair to me. I can't do anything to this point. Shenzhen is a place of cruel competition, and I might be hungry one day. To be honest, I had the heart to die at that time, I didn't have a job, I drank tap water when I was hungry, and I slept on the lawn in the park at night. It was when I was poor and destitute that she and her father pulled me, which made me see hope again. I will make my company bigger and stronger and regain my self-esteem."
Three days later, Xiuying's mood calmed a lot, and she must live strong for her daughter. My daughter is her only one, and she is the spark of her life.
Xiuying asked her husband: "Aren't you afraid that I will sue you in court? You are committing a crime."
"If you hope our daughter has no father, you will sue in court." The husband said almost cheatingly.
"Are you still worthy of being a father? Do you still have the conscience to be a father? For yourself, you can abandon anything. Selfishness is simply shameless." Xiuying said angrily.
"When I become rich, I will definitely go back to Xinjiang to repay you and my daughter."
"You, just have your dream."
Xiuying originally wanted to persuade her husband to return to Xinjiang because she had a job as a teacher in Xinjiang. Although she could not make a lot of money, she would not be hungry even if she worked decently. However, seeing her husband's turtle eating a weight and making a heart-warming look, she gave up this idea.
Before returning to Xinjiang, Xiuying and her husband signed an divorce agreement for their daughter's sake. My husband held the divorce agreement with both hands, his eyes suddenly became hot and tears flowed down unconsciously. He held his daughter's hand tightly and said:
"Dad is not a good father, but mom is a good mother. You have to listen to your mother's words and study hard."
(8)
Dingling, Dinglingling, a burst of rapid phone calls woke Xiuying up from her sleep. Xiuying picked up the phone and heard it was her ex-husband's voice and flirted with the phone.
Since signing a divorce agreement with her ex-husband in Shenzhen, Xiuying has never contacted him again, and her ex-husband has never called again. Five years have passed in a blink of an eye, and Xiuying's life has become calmer, but her daughter occasionally mentions her father. As the world progressed, Xiuying and her daughter had forgotten that man to the sky. Today, my ex-husband suddenly called again, and there was nothing good about Xiuying's understanding of him.
As expected, the phone remembered again. I heard the other end of the phone say almost begging: "Xiuying, I beg you. Please don't rush to hang the phone. Wait until I finish my words, okay?"
Xiuying didn't say anything or put down the phone. A familiar voice came from the other end of the phone: "Xiuying, I know I'm sorry for you, but I really have no way to do it right now, so I can only ask you."
It turned out that Xiuying's ex-husband suffered heavy losses in business, and it can be said that she went completely bankrupt. The wife he married later divorced him and drove him and his son out of the house.
"This woman is so cruel, she doesn't even want her son." A familiar voice kept repeating this sentence. Xiuying just mechanically held the receiver without saying a word.
"You said, in this situation, I have no money, no one, and I don't even know where my next meal will be. How can I support my son?"
"The tiger will not eat the poison. There is such a cruel mother in the world." Xiuying said excitedly.
"Yes, she said she wouldn't be able to live again in the future."
"Then, what do you mean to me?"
"I want you to help me raise my son first."
"This---" Xiuying didn't know what to say. It was already very difficult for her to take care of her daughter and her brother's son alone.If you add another child, it is still a child that has nothing to do with you, it is really unimaginable what the result will be.
"Xiuying, seeing that we were once married, I'm kneeling down with you."
"It's not that I don't want to. One person's salary has already supported two children. How can I afford to add another one?"
"I'm going to find a place to work now and send you money every month." Seeing Xiuying relaxed, he said anxiously.
"Let me think about it."
"Xiuying, I know you are a kind mother, you will definitely accept it. My son and I are downstairs."
"What did you say---?" Xiuying hesitated for a moment. Then he continued, "Then bring the child up."
Rich and strong, although he was only eleven years old, he was a smart child. Maybe it was a grievance all the way, or maybe it was his father's guidance. As soon as he saw Xiuying, he immediately threw herself into his arms and called out to mom and cried.
Xiuying looked at the sad child and looked at her ex-husband complainingly. I felt sad in my heart, gently stroked Xiao Fuqiang's head, and tears flowed down unconsciously. He choked and said, "You are my mother's third child. Let's go, I'll take you to see your brother and sister."
