This is the story of the 588th real person we tell
I am Fan Kaiming
(In March 2021, I officially became a registered player of the German Football Association)
I was born in Mudanjiang City, Heilongjiang Province in 1990. My mother is a civil servant. , my father opened a large tobacco, alcohol and food store. Because it had great influence in the local area, it was even published in our newspaper.
When I was a child, I was quite naughty and active, running around with my friends all day long. In order to control my temper, my parents sent me to a private boarding school when I was in elementary school.
Private school tuition costs thousands of dollars per semester, which was considered a huge sum of money in those days. But like all parents who "hope that their children will succeed", in order to give me a high-quality education, my parents did not care about money at all.
But contrary to expectations, I only studied there for one year. The reason is that I miss home very much and often pretend to be sick instead of going to class. With no choice, my parents had no choice but to take me back and send me to a public primary school. But my mother never left me idle for a moment and enrolled me in a lot of interest classes such as English, Go, and piano.
But people are so strange. Things imposed on you by others often fail to arouse your interest. I had a strong resistance to the classes my mother enrolled me in. On the contrary, under the influence of my classmates, I gradually became obsessed with football.
(Photo of me and my parents)
In 2002, I was in sixth grade. The World Cup that year fascinated me and quietly ignited my football dream.
During the summer vacation of the year I graduated from elementary school, some students in my class were going to to participate in the summer camp of Dalian Jinbali Football School. When I heard the news, I was clamoring to go. So my father sent me to Dalian . Unexpectedly, when the summer camp ended, I was unwilling to go back. I wanted to stay in Dalian and continue playing football.
My parents were so panicked now that they rushed over to persuade me to go back. But I had made up my mind and would not go back with them no matter how much they tried to persuade me. Of course I have a love for football, but I also want to get rid of my parents' control. Seeing that they couldn't resist me, my parents had no choice but to agree. In this way, I dropped out of school and started my dream journey.
I started playing football when I was 12 years old, which is considered a very late start. Most players started playing football when they were seven or eight years old, and some even earlier. Children who start late can only keep up with others by running faster.
But it turns out that I don't have much talent for football. Others can practice one or two hundred and for a month, but it took me three months to do it.
(playing football at the age of 12, it was already too late to start)
But I am not discouraged. I always believe that hard work can make up for weakness. Others practice for one hour, but I practice for two hours. In this way, after a year, I became the top player on the team.
When I was 13 years old, I was successfully admitted to the Liaoning Sports Technical School. But in this school, which is known as "China's Gold Medal Factory", I was very unhappy and even thought about committing suicide for a time.
At that time, because I was young, I was often bullied by the senior players; no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get a chance to play; I trained day after day, had no social interaction, and felt lonely far away from my family... All of this made me sensitive. , low self-esteem and vulnerability.
As soon as I had free time, I took a 30 yuan IC card and hid in the phone booth at the training base to call my mother, and I kept calling until the card balance was insufficient. Every time I receive a letter or snack from home, I will hold it in my arms and hide under the quilt and cry hard.
My young heart could not bear the heavy pressure, so I wrote a suicide note to my mother and prepared to commit suicide. The day after ’s mother received the letter, she appeared at the door of my dormitory. The moment she saw me, she held me in her arms without saying anything, and we, mother and son, held each other and cried.
In my mother's warm embrace, I gradually calmed down and regained my confidence and courage. Mother's love pulled me back from the brink of collapse.
(Training diary at Liaoning Sports School)
After staying in Liaoning for a year, I didn’t see any opportunities, so I left this place that didn’t bring me many good memories. came to Hebei Youth Team , and Today's national football team Wu Xi has become a teammate.
This is a small highlight of my football career, and it is also the end of my professional football career.
My efforts gradually gave me some opportunities. The most memorable one was when I represented Hebei Province in the national U15 competition and won third place. At the age of 14, I became a national second-level athlete .
I have never been God's favorite child. Just when I thought I could reach the next peak if I work harder, the Hebei Youth Team was disbanded and a National Games team was to be established based on it.
Dad was originally going to pay me to help me establish relationships and let me join the team, but I gave up on my own.
At that time, supermarkets were on the rise, which made it difficult for my father’s business to continue operating, and the family’s financial situation was greatly reduced. My parents have already invested hundreds of thousands in order for me to play football, and I can't bear to let them throw money into it again. In addition, I am also disgusted with the "hidden rules" here. If you want to play, you have to spend money and give gifts. I think there is no point in continuing to play like this.
(Beijing Youth Training)
15 years old, I returned to Mudanjiang , starting from the first grade of junior high school. Because I stopped studying for a few years, my grades were naturally not good. Fortunately, I passed the special sports recruitment in the high school entrance examination and entered Mudanjiang No. 2 Senior High School. In my senior year of high school, I could have entered Harbin Normal University with my sports expertise, but I didn't go because I didn't want to be a teacher.
The football dream buried deep in my heart has never been extinguished. At this time, I came up with the idea of going abroad to see if there were more opportunities. My father supported me as always and spent 70,000 to 80,000 yuan to enroll me in an overseas training class at Beijing Language and Culture University.
My father was working as an extra in Beijing at that time. I never asked my father what his dream was. I only knew that at that time, the salary for a day as an extra was only 50 yuan.
My father has been in business for so many years. Even if the business firm has no future, he can still switch to other businesses, but he chose the completely unfamiliar film industry. If this is not for dreams, what is it for?
(Stills of Dad when he was filming)
After I went to Beijing, I would occasionally hand over information to the crew on behalf of my father. When the crew looked at the information, they said, "It's Lao Fan. You don't need to hand in information anymore. He is so dedicated and serious." Actor, we will definitely contact him if we have the opportunity. "
I am deeply proud of this. 's father is just an extra, but he has made the entire Beijing film circle remember his name with his serious efforts. This also inspired me to be serious about life and dreams.
Unfortunately, after studying at Beijing Language and Culture University for one year, my English level did not improve significantly. has spent almost all of this year playing college football league games for the school. When I applied to study abroad, I originally applied for New Zealand, but by mistake I ended up in Malaysia.
In 2012, I came to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia to study at Century University, majoring in hotel and tourism management. Work while studying to earn living expenses. My first job was in a bar. Because my English was poor, I had to work in the backstage making beers.
Later I met a Filipino friend. He took great care of me and took the initiative to teach me English. My English proficiency has improved by leaps and bounds, and my job position has also been adjusted from the backstage to the front desk.
(Working in a Malaysian restaurant)
Later, I met a Shanghainese through church, and we formed a deep friendship during our relationship. He enthusiastically invited me to teach his children Chinese, and because his children love football, I not only taught him Chinese but also taught him football.
Because I have a good relationship with their family, I am very happy in this personal training job. But half a year later, their family moved to Singapore , and I had no choice but to end my second job.
My third job was in a Michelin restaurant . My seriousness was appreciated by my boss, and I was quickly promoted from an ordinary waiter to a supervisor. The salary of is also very considerable, and I earned about more than 100,000 yuan before and after.
I used the money to buy a bunch of gifts for my parents, and then visited almost all the countries in Southeast Asia, which broadened my horizons.
My life in Malaysia has been quite fulfilling for several years. In addition to studying, working, traveling, and of course playing football. The people I played football with at the time were some African friends from school. In the process of playing football with them, I once again realized the difference in talent.
They never seem to get tired, and their body flexibility and coordination are beyond my ability. And none of them have received professional training, and they can play well just by feeling the ball. Therefore, when your talent is not as good as others, you can only work harder.
(Correspondence with family when playing football)
In 2015, I graduated. The owner of the restaurant where I originally worked tried his best to keep me and even promised me to be the hotel manager. Faced with such generous treatment, I still resigned. I adhere to the ancient saying "Don't travel far when your parents are here" and want to go back to Beijing to support our family with my father.
Considering that hotel management is still an emerging industry in China, the prospects must be good. So I returned to Beijing full of longing. Unexpectedly, reality soon hit me hard. Working in a hotel in Beijing only costs three to four thousand yuan a month. Some hotels even require male waiters to provide "special services" to customers.
Maybe I am destined to be connected with football in my life. My first job in Beijing was related to football. I am responsible for a sports investment project in Beijing for a company, with a monthly salary of 5,500, and no insurance.
I was living in the North Sixth Ring Road, and my company was in the East Third Ring Road. It took two hours one way by car. Although the conditions were not good, it was my first job after all, so I was quite enthusiastic. After persisting for three months, I found that the project was not implemented, so I resigned.
(National business trip training speech)
In October 2016, I found a second job as a coach in a youth football club. Because this club is relatively high-end, it has hired many foreign coaches, so I am proficient in English and also work as a translator. The salary given at that time was 7,500 a month, and five insurances were also provided.
I am very comfortable doing this job, and the company leaders also recognize my ability very much. But the complex interpersonal relationships in the club made me unbearable, so I chose to leave after less than a year.
At this time, my father's career took off. He worked his way from extras to executive director, and he kept getting film appointments. From his experience, I realized that people still have to constantly pursue progress to make this life worthwhile. So I came up with the idea of studying abroad again.
But at this moment, love comes unexpectedly. I met a girl from Weihai, Shandong Province. She had studied in Korea for 7 years. Maybe it’s because we also have the experience of studying abroad, so we have more topics in common. For the sake of love and to try again to see if I could develop in Beijing, I stayed.
Maybe it’s the good luck that love brings me, or maybe it’s the result of my persistence. Just a month or two later, a headhunting company found me, so I got my third job in Beijing - La Liga Beijing project manager.
(at the La Liga program recording site)
I am mainly responsible for three aspects of specific business: one is to participate in the recording of variety shows with CCTV5; the other is to connect with the Ministry of Education in various places for football training; the third is to be responsible for the offline production of national derby Activity.
This job is well paid, extremely challenging and interesting, which has given me an unprecedented enthusiasm for work.
It was a very happy period in my life. As far as my family is concerned, my father and I both experienced a period of rising careers and finally reversed the decline of the family economy.
Personally, I have both love and career. For a moment, I felt that what awaited me in the future was a colorful life.But I didn't expect that underneath the peaceful and beautiful appearance, there was a violent storm hidden.
In March 2018, my father was diagnosed with advanced liver cancer. The doctor said he only had one to three months to survive. This cruel news was like a bombshell, blowing up my originally peaceful world into ashes in an instant.
I resigned from my job without thinking. I just wanted to devote all my energy to accompanying and taking care of my father. But after only two months, the high cost of treatment made it unbearable for me.
(National Football Characteristic Kindergarten Project)
The second company I worked for happened to find me again. At that time, I did not have the time and energy to look for better job opportunities, so I accepted the invitation. Mainly responsible for the national football characteristic kindergarten project in cooperation with the Ministry of Education.
I started a crazy business trip mode and traveled across the country almost every day. Although it was very hard, I still had to persevere because was able to provide business subsidies for business trips.
In order to save rent, we moved from Beijing to Yanjiao. During this period, , my girlfriend has been by my side, giving me silent support and encouragement. In order to share my pressure, she also moved there with us.
rushes to work in Beijing from Yanjiao. He has to get up and set off at four or five o'clock every morning. I am still grateful when I think about the sacrifices my girlfriend made for me during that time.
Thanks to timely treatment and care, 's father survived for more than a year, successfully breaking the original prediction of the doctor that he could only live for one to three months.
(Photos of me and my dad when I was a child)
Just when I was breathing a little sigh of relief, my dad’s condition suddenly deteriorated rapidly. I knew there was no way to save him, so I decided to take him around.
I remember reading a sentence before: "We all look at the world from the shoulders of our parents." In order to realize my dream, my parents have been frugal. Especially my father, who usually smokes cigarettes that cost 5 yuan a pack and drinks Sanbai which costs 20 yuan. When he is alone in Beijing, when he is hungry, he often eats some noodles to cope with it.
I once thought that I would wait until I became successful and take my parents to see the outside world, but God could not give me much time.
I took the time to take my parents to Thailand. Judging from my father’s expression, he was very pleased. But I know that as a filmmaker, he actually yearns for the ancient Roman architecture in Europe. I originally planned to book a European tour for him, but his physical condition at that time no longer allowed him to complete such a long-distance trip.
This has become a huge regret in my heart.
(Photos taken when we went to Thailand)
On August 8, 2019, my father completed the last journey of his life. Before he died, he left me a message: "Son, pursue your dreams and do whatever you want to do in this life."
Huge grief generally brings two results to people: one is to sink from there. , unable to recover; one is a profound understanding of life. Fortunately, I got the second one.
Haruki Murakami said: "People do not grow up slowly, but grow up in an instant."
In fact, in the year and a half from the time I learned about my father's condition to his death, I quickly grew into a real person. A man who bravely and strongly takes on the responsibility of supporting his family. Now that my father is gone, I have calmly accepted this reality and figured out a lot of things.
Just like what my father said at the end: "Life is short, you should really live for your dreams in this life." So, the idea of going to graduate school and continuing to pursue my dreams became strong again.
It’s just that this time my ideas are different from those of my girlfriend. She is tired from her wandering life, and she just wants to settle down. I tried to keep her, but in the end we broke up amicably.
(I calmed down after my father left)
For a long time, I couldn't get over this relationship. We once loved each other deeply, and we are both members of the Beidiao family. We cherish each other and understand each other's dreams and fatigue. In a sense, we are no longer lovers, but relatives who depend on each other for life. However, reality still broke us up.
The wonderful thing is that suddenly one day, I felt relieved. I realized that all encounters and separations in 's life are destined by destiny. They are all destiny. The most important thing is that she once brought me the fragrance and sweetness of love, and I will be grateful and remember it for the rest of my life.
With this understanding, I set out again. In September 2021, I came to Berlin, Germany, to study EMBA. It was also here that I brought my football dream to a successful conclusion.
Returning to school at the age of 31 is still quite stressful. Although English is a universal language, not knowing German will still bring inconvenience to study and life. An older international student will always seem a little out of place among a group of international students of the right age. In order to earn tuition and living expenses, I have to work two days a week.
(Me and the Egyptian friend who recommended me)
In order to relieve this kind of pressure, I will use my spare time to play football. In the process, I met a former Egyptian international footballer. He appreciated me very much, and one day he suddenly asked me if I wanted to find some teams to play in?
Playing football has always been my dream, and I naturally don’t want to miss this opportunity. Under his recommendation, I first tried a few low-level teams. Although the performance was good, those teams in needed stars or younger players, and my conditions obviously did not meet their requirements.
Just when I was about to give up, my Egyptian friend encouraged me to try again. So I got another opportunity to try out for the Novi Pazar team. I actually had no confidence at the end of the first day. The reason is simple: other lower-level teams don’t want me, so how could this team want me?
But unexpectedly, after the trial training, coach said to me: "You played well, we are going to check you out again. If you want to try, you can continue to participate in our training."
This sentence It ignited the flame of hope that had just extinguished in me.
(I am studying in Germany while playing football)
In the German sixth-level league, we basically train three times a week. During the two days of working every week, I left home before 8 o'clock in the morning, got off work at 5:30 p.m., and took more than an hour's drive to attend the team's training at 7:30 p.m., until the training ended at 9:30 p.m. By the time I get home, it's often already 11 o'clock at night.
In fact, my physical condition is no longer suitable for this kind of high-intensity training, but I don’t want to miss this opportunity, so I can only grit my teeth and keep training. During those days, I took off my clothes and my body was covered in bruises and bruises. After a month, my body fat dropped from 23% to 16%.
At the end of the training, the coach gave me a thumbs up: "We Germans like your fighting spirit like a fighter."
March 1, 2022, is an extraordinary day for me. After a month of trial training, I finally signed with the Novi Pazar 95 Berlin team and officially became a registered member of the sixth division of the German Football Association. Printed our five-star red flag on the German Football League roster.
The football dream that started when I was 12 years old finally came to a successful conclusion when I was 32 years old.
(My football career is temporarily over, and I am going all out to prepare for graduation)
Now I have just finished this season. I have changed three coaches in half a season. It has been really not easy along the way. Gain trust from scratch every time. Fortunately, I persisted.
In my opinion, the result is no longer important. The important thing is that I thoroughly enjoyed the entire process and every fleeting moment.
Now, my football career has come to an end. I will graduate in August this year, and my top priority is to go all out to prepare for my graduation thesis and employment issues after graduation. Although time is tight, my heart is calm and calm. No matter what I do, as long as I show the spirit of playing football, nothing will be a problem.
(If you have a dream, you will always be young)
32 years old, in the eyes of some people, is already quite old. But as long as has a dream, it will always be young. I remember that my friends often teased me for being too anxious to grow up, and I smiled and said back: "See you in 10 years!"
Now, I haven't found a love or career yet, but I'm not in a hurry. I believe that everything I look forward to is waiting to meet me slowly ahead.
[Oral: Fan Kaiming]
[Editor: You Rean]
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