text | Xu Dawei · Anchor | Yang Qiang
Source: Master Liang (ID: liang_da_shi)
There is an old Chinese saying, "The moon passes through the Mid-Autumn Festival and the light of the light will decrease, and everything will come to middle age."
This sentence makes sense. When people are young, they should act on the principle of "addition" and collide with this wonderful world more often.
Just like a child on the beach, he has taken all kinds of shells into his pocket.
However, in middle age, the main theme of life gradually emerges, and the energy cannot carry too much complexity.
At this stage, you need to use "subtraction" to spend the rest of your life, throw away some shells, and leave only the few you like the most.
Here, I would like to talk about 5 things that middle-aged people should avoid, and I hope it will inspire you.
Don't maintain the hard work
Last year, I attended the class reunion. At the beginning, everything was fine, I sang and sang.
Half of the banquet, suddenly a female classmate glared at me and scolded me loudly.
I was stunned. After listening carefully, I understood what she was saying.
She said that a critical article I was targeting her. Although I did not name it, it was very close to her experience and was clearly insincere.
To tell the truth, I am not familiar with that female classmate, and I don’t even know what job she is in.
Moreover, I have written almost 1 million words and there are countless case stories. Anyone in the workplace can take a closer look, and I don’t know where this “targeting” comes from.
The female classmate ignored these things and still refused to denounce me, and finally parted in disagreement.
Afterwards, a kind classmate came to me and said that this was a misunderstanding. He wanted to set up a dinner party and called the female classmate. Everyone said it was open, and it was fine...
But I said, "No need to say it was open, it would be great."
The other party was stunned and asked me what it meant?
I said, "It's too hard, don't maintain this relationship..."
said this not because I was not generous enough, but because my energy was too limited, and it was really unnecessary to waste it on those difficult relationships.
Moreover, the relationship in the adult world is indeed complicated.
just said that female classmate was fine at the beginning of the party, but suddenly changed her face in the middle. It was quite interesting to see this alone.
If I insist on maintaining this relationship, maybe a bunch of clues will be involved.
Forget it, forget it, let her go...
people reach middle age and will not last long for the rest of their lives.
If it is not a necessary survival, don’t maintain uncomfortable relationships.
You should know that those who trust you will not turn against you because of a small matter, nor will they label you by hearing about it;
For those who like to suspect, even if you deliberately cater to it and be careful everywhere, it is difficult to avoid stepping on the thunder. This relationship will never last long.
So, let it go, come, I welcome you, you leave, I won’t stay.
Life is difficult, everyone does not owe each other, don’t waste yourself in the troublesome relationship.
Don't define good and evil easily
My career has had 3 ups and downs.
The most intriguing first time.
At that time, I was appointed as the product director. There was a very clever young man among my subordinates who was eloquent and capable.
I came to show my loyalty on the first day of my tenure, and I valued it very much. An elderly female employee in the department is at the other extreme. She relies on her own experience and is very difficult to deal with.
asks for leave every moment, and often wears my leader, saying how unfair I am.
She and I have had a quarrel several times, and the relationship is very tense.
So, I naturally and intentionally or unintentionally praised the young man for being good and criticized the female employee for being poor.
Later, for some reasons, I was removed from my post.
Unexpectedly, the female employee actually wrote a long email to the leader , saying that my removal was unreasonable, and I was forced to bear many of the blame.
This is what an insider told me.
At the same time, he also told me that the young man I valued revealed a lot of things about me out of nothing...
Yes, this is how human nature is, and you always catch you off guard.
It was a difficult time. I was assigned to a corner of the workplace, and I was in the same room with a bunch of scrap computers, and no one cared about it.
One morning, I received a very beautiful pot of orchids. There is a card under and a few lines of words written.
The female employee signed the signature and she wrote:
"If you don't have good days, think about good days."
Look at this, it's so dramatic.
The people I originally hated let me see the other side in the changes; and the people I once valued are the same.
However, this two-sidedness is exactly in the interests I could perceive at that time.
So, no matter what I give a evaluation of whether good or evil, it can only be a node in the time hourglass and it also loses unity.
Yes, human nature is complex.
Our evaluation of others often determines whether we are the beneficiaries, and there is no objectivity or fairness at all.
Therefore, as a middle-aged person, don’t easily define others with good and evil.
In this way, you will not hold a grudge against some people too much, will not be surprised by the mutations of some people, and will not fall into some indifferent conscious judgment, and your worries will naturally be reduced a lot.
Don’t float outside
Many large companies have one promotion rule: cannot be appointed locally.
So, you have to abandon your wife and children, wander around, and work far away. This type of person is called "external cadres."
My former immediate boss was an expatriate cadre.
Once we had dinner with the client, his phone rang.
, sitting next to me, heard a heart-wrenching howl from the phone, and later I found out that it was her wife.
Because the child's eyes hit the stairs, he was bleeding a lot, and he was in control. The leader quickly ran outside to answer the call, and he didn't come in until the dinner was about to end.
I saw his eyes red. Although I was usually very awe of him, I felt very sympathetic to him at that moment.
Anyone who has been sent out knows the kind of suffering I mentioned:
In order to develop your career, you have to be in a strange city.
The loneliness after drinking and drinking has nowhere to say. His wife, who is far away, can only do her best to maintain a home that lacks a man.
Of course you can bring your family to a new city, but the result is that you have just settled down and then transferred away...
I have to say that a middle-aged man who has been wandering outside for many years is tragic. They work hard to get the happiness of their family.
However, they themselves cannot experience this happiness.
Moreover, a protagonist who has been absent from a family for a long time often has no happiness.
So, I would like to advise those middle-aged people who are floating, if they are not unable to survive, they should be with their families.
After people reach middle age, the marginal effects of wealth and power are decreasing. At this time, no matter how much money you make or get promoted, it is unlikely that you will make earth-shaking changes.
On the contrary, the energy and time you spend on it will become less and less cost-effective.
It is precisely because I saw this clearly that I resigned three years ago and became a freelancer.
so that I can have more time with my family.
At that time, the leader advised me and asked me why I couldn’t think about it and wanted to resign during the period of rising? Actually, I think very openly because I know I am not that kind of "parabe".
I want to watch my son grow up;
I want to accompany my wife to grow old;
I want to take my family to eat delicious food on weekends;
I want to take my family to watch movies on Sundays;
I want to integrate this kind of scene into my memories more, and not when I get old, when I think about it, it is all reports and PPT... Maybe not everyone is as lucky as me, and can have a career that takes into account both.
But when you are facing such a big choice, please seriously consider: Does
really separate from the family to have a way out? Is
really a job that is worth abandoning your family?
Ask yourself a few more times, maybe the answer will surface...
Don't enjoy things you can't bear
My previous golf coach is an authentic Shandong middle-aged man, strong, generous, and warm-hearted.
But in China, most golf coaches are at the bottom, they don’t have much income and have a very difficult life.
The same is true for the coach, living in the same urban village with his wife and children.
is coming to run, and a super rich man comes to the driving range to learn the ball with this coach.
The rich man was very generous and took the initiative to increase the coaching fee by 20%.
also introduced him to some of his friends in circle .
Of course, the rich circle are also rich .
That period should be the most glorious time for that coach.
not only received a group of wealthy students, but these rich people also took special care of him, asking him to play basketball from time to time or send some things.
I saw a rich man sending him a box of Moutai...
Gradually, the coach's sense of incongruity in the rich man circle was also diluted, and he was mixed with them all day long.
Those rich people are very gambled, and they all have bets when they play basketball.
and I played a lot, and every loss is 10,000 yuan.
Usually, it is normal for everyone to have a 10-20 shot difference in one game, so there is a bet of about 100,000 or 200,000 yuan per game. The coach can't afford to play such a big bet, and the rich are also very considerate and asked him to calculate it at 500 yuan per shot.
coaches are of course much higher than those beginners, and it is normal to win them in one game
Therefore, this coach can win more than 10,000 yuan in just one game, and those rich people don’t care at all.
coach was so happy that he felt that he had found a way to make money, so he didn't teach the ball much and followed the rich every day.
About half a year, when I met the coach again, I found that he had bought a car and was enthusiastic about buying a house in Shenzhen.
I thought it was too easy to make money at that time...
As the saying goes, "A man's heart is not enough, a snake swallows an elephant."
sweetness makes the coach unable to extricate himself, making him feel that playing basketball must be a sure win, so he took the initiative to ask for an increase in the bet. Like others, starting from 10,000 yuan per shot...
Rich people said, since you proposed it on your own initiative, let's play like this.
However, unexpectedly, the coach who teaches people to make a living cannot beat these beginners.
Don’t think that this is a trap that others intentionally make. If you play basketball, you should know that many people learn to play for a year, as long as they have good psychological quality, their results will be very good.
And these rich people are mostly such people, and their grades are getting better and better.
and what about the coach?
Because the bet is too big, he also has a huge psychological burden. It is said that both hands tremble when holding the rod and frequent low-level mistakes.
is like this, losing several games in a row, losing all the previous winners back, and selling the car to pay off the debt.
However, he didn't give up and continued to bet. In the end, he owed millions and couldn't afford it, so he took his family away.
This person is obsessed with glory and wealth. It is not only when you can't get it, but it is precisely because you have tried it and you can't stop.
Most people should be like this. When you get some benefits that you shouldn’t get, you won’t think it’s a blessing;
When you lose, you won’t comfort yourself that it’s in vain, it’s better to lose.
won't, you won't think so.
You will want more, and you will take this benefit as you deserve it. In the end you will give it a try until you pay a heavy price. What
used to have was also burned.
The sadness of life is this?
So, you must know clearly how much you have and never enjoy what you can't afford.
Otherwise, it will only double down and will drag down the family.
Don’t get entangled with trash
Some time ago, I saw this scene on the subway.
A heavyweight aunt rushed into the car and stepped on the foot of a middle-aged woman. The woman instinctively called out.
The aunt looked at her with disgust.
Ms.
was very angry and said, "You stepped on me, don't you even say sorry?"
Auntie was also excited: "Didn't you scream too? You still screamed so exaggeratedly, which made my ears deaf, why didn't you say sorry to me!"
Ms.
was angry by this magical logic: "You are so old, can you be more handsome?! You stepped on me first, aren't you allowed me to scream?"
Auntie was also angry: "You want shame? You can scream like a moaning?!"
So the two began to insult each other.
Of course, you should be able to think of the ending that the lady is definitely not the opponent.
Not only did the Auntie greet her ancestors, but also described many things that were indescribable, with extremely vicious language.
And the lady just fought back with "old man" and "old thing", without any lethality, and ended in a crushing defeat.
Real estate boss Feng Lun wrote an article before, called "The Principle of the Thriller", which says:
The noble lady and the shrew will definitely lose.
Because noble ladies have been baptized by civilization, they have bottom lines and trade-offs.
and what about shrews? They are closer to the barbaric state, without any lower limits, and do not pay attention to any rules.
They will drag you into a battlefield without bottom line and defeat you in the way they are good at.
This is true in reality.
Especially when you reach middle age, you will meet all kinds of people.
Some people are unreasonable or even undescribable, and can only be called "garbage person".
Some of them pass by you, some of them appear in front of you for no reason, and they still have to compete with you.
If you have the strength, you can knock them down with one punch and then throw away 50,000 yuan in medical expenses.
If you don’t have this strength, the best strategy is to avoid it far away;
If you have to mess with it, not only will you lose nine out of ten, but you will also be furious with a "trash" atmosphere.
So, as a rational middle-aged person, don’t get entangled with garbage people, that will only allow your time, energy and dignity to be included.
Seeing this, you may feel uneasy. Do you let the "trash people" run rampant around the world?
No, you have to believe that the appearance of "garbage people" is the result of random collisions. They often encounter more ruthless characters, and retribution will naturally be brought to life.
News often also reports that an aunt went to the toilet and was hit by someone using a brick to break her head;
An uncle was hit by a group while queuing up and was beaten by a tour group.
You see, "The evil will be beaten by the evil one" is a magical prophecy.
Some people are responsible for playing the role of "trash people", some are responsible for cleaning up the "trash people", each doing its own responsibilities, and the world is still running.
The most difficult thing in life is the word "trade"
Especially when you reach middle age, you can spend very little time.
Therefore, you should focus on those things that are really important and actively reduce the worries in your heart.
Don’t bother to maintain those unpleasant relationships, don’t make conclusions at any time, don’t float outside like a mustard of grass, don’t covet things you are destined to get, and don’t fight with people of different levels.
eliminates these 5 things, which will not make you richer, but will make you more open-minded and free.
years have passed 40, life is half slope, you have to learn to live by subtraction.
This way, you can avoid being confused, not being trapped in emotions, not being afraid of the future, and not thinking about the past.
-Music Picture-
Background Music | Haneda Ryoko "Eiffel"
Picture Source | Visual China
-Author-
Xu Dawei. Source: Master Liang (ID: liang_da_shi). Shidian Reading publishes this article with authorization. Please contact the author for reprinting.
-Anchor -
Yang Qiangqian, signed a contract with anchor at the 10 o'clock reading, media person.Say good night to you at 9 o'clock every night and use your voice to heal every lonely patient. official account : Xiao Yang talks about things (ID: xiaoyangshuoshier) Sina Weibo @Yang Chen is too heavy.
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