1. You are not allowed to pee here
A family has two sons-in-law, the eldest son-in-law knows and writes clearly and is smart. But the little son-in-law doesn't know a big word and is a little demented.
His wife said to him: "My brother-in-law knows words, and my father respects him three points. You can't understand words, and I don't look glorious on my face, and my father doesn't like me. In a few days, my brother will get married. At that time, relatives and friends will come to your house, and you will learn to recognize a few words. In this way, I will show off in front of others, and stand up straight and look up as a human being. The six words "Don't pee here" are written on the wall of my adobe warehouse. You must keep it in mind. If someone asks, you can answer, so that others will not dare to underestimate you!
The idiot agrees repeatedly and memorizes it, and finally remembers these words. When my brother-in-law gets married, the idiot comes to the wall and points to the words and tells others: "Don't pee here." "When the father-in-law heard this, he was overjoyed and praised him repeatedly: When did the son-in-law know the words, it's great!
After hearing the father-in-law's praise, the fool immediately floated up, and he couldn't even tell the difference between the south and north. At this moment, his wife's aunt came out to meet the fool. Today, my aunt wore a flowery skirt with a gold-edged flying belt on the skirt, and the belt was still on it The eight words embroidered with "Long Life and Wealth, , Golden Jade Hall, ", and fell in the middle of the skirt. When the idiot saw it, he quickly pointed to the words on his aunt's skirt and said to everyone: Don't pee here!
2. Songba
A scholar, after he died, came to the underworld and saw html l2 After the King of Hell , the King of Hell asked him: What did you do during your lifetime?
Scholar said: In my lifetime, I mainly read books and write articles!
The King of Hell asked again: Do you have real talent and real knowledge?
Scholar said: villains dare not boast about having real talent and real knowledge. However, after studying hard for many years, the books at home can be said to be full of books. I have read a lot of books throughout my life. I know the heaven on Wen , geography, knowledge of ancient and modern times, and is also a well-educated scholar!
The King of Hell said: Good, very good! Since that is the case, you can show it in front of me!
As soon as the King of Hell finished speaking, he fartted.
The scholar pondered for a moment and said loudly: "I am the king, towering golden buttocks, and Hong Xuanbao farts are vaguely like the sound of silk and bamboo, as if the air of musk orchids. I am at a disadvantage, and I cannot defeat the fragrance. "
When the King of Hell heard this, he said, "Oh, this flattery is so comfortable. He can say that it is delicious if you fart it. Hi, I like it!
The King of Hell said happily: Come on, I'll give you a banquet to entertain you.
The scholar said a lot of flattery while having wine and eating. The King of Hell is happier the more he listens! He said casually: Your mouth is really unbearable. The king is happy today, and allows you to extend your life by twelve years. When your life is over, I will come to report. I will not send ghost soldiers to seduce you.
Scholars thank you very much and return to the world.
Twelve years later, the scholar's life has ended, so he came to the underworld to report.
The ghost soldiers guarding the gate asked: What are you doing? ?
Scholar said: I want to pay homage to the king!
Ghost soldier said: Bold madman, are you the ones you see? Who are you?
Scholar said: Please report it to me, just say that twelve years ago, the scholar who was doing fart articles came to report.
3. Xie Fu
There is a Taoist priest who claims to know astronomy and geography, and can call wind and rain, sprinkle beans into soldiers, turn evil into good fortune, drive away ghosts and evil spirits. It is famous within a radius of dozens of miles, and everyone admires him even more.
One day, the Taoist priest went to someone else's house to do the trick. When he finished the ritual, it was already dark.As he walked, he came to a small mountain village. But he saw the cliffs around him, towering and steep. The Taoist was not only shocked. At this moment, he suddenly saw clouds and mist everywhere, and a gust of demonic wind blew up in an instant. The Taoist priest quickly accelerated his pace. As a result, after walking for a while, he found that he had returned to his original place and saw several graves next to him. The Taoist priest knew that he had been confused by the ghosts, so he hurriedly took out the talisman and started a magic trick. After finishing, the Taoist priest hurriedly on his way, but after walking around, he found that he had returned to his original place.
Taoist priest thought to himself: My life is over!
At this moment, I suddenly heard someone talking. When the Taoist priest saw that it turned out that it was a mountain man who chopped wood and returned late. The Taoist priest told the woodcutter what happened and asked the woodcutter for help. The woodcutter smiled: Remove the woodcutter, put down the sharp axe, and bowed and said: This is my friend, don't disturb me, please give me convenience. After saying that, he led the Taoist priest out of danger. The Taoist priest bowed repeatedly and thanked him for his gratitude. Before leaving, the Taoist priest said to the woodcutter: Thank you again for your life-saving grace, and there is no way to repay you. I have a talisman here to exorcise evil spirits. I wish I could accept it with a smile!
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