The incident of a female secretary in a community in Zhengzhou "missing her daughter's adult gift" has become a hot topic of public opinion. " Adult Gift " has also become a hot word. We can’t help but ask, what exactly is the “coming-come ceremony”? How important is it?
Regarding what " adult etiquette " is, we can understand it literally, which is a life etiquette held to recognize that people of a certain age have the ability and qualification to enter society. In layman's terms, it is the time node when you go from a child to an adult. This is a common cultural phenomenon.
1. The past life of the coming of age
There are adult rituals at home and abroad. The Chinese adult rituals can be traced back to weekly . In ancient times, adult rituals refer to the crown rituals and hairpin rituals. A man will perform a crown ceremonial ceremony when he is 20 years old, that is, plus , indicating that he has become an adult and is recognized by the ethnic group, and can marry later. Women can have a wedding ceremony after they turn 15 and can get married after they get 15 years old. The coming-of-age ceremony was abolished by in the Qing Dynasty, so that no one mentioned it now.
Adult Etiquette This tradition has been extended from Western Zhou to Ming Dynasty , but not all children have received adult etiquettes. Why do many ordinary people do it? The reason is that the entire process is too complicated [you can search for the specific process by yourself], which consumes a lot of time and manpower, and ordinary families cannot afford to make trouble. Therefore, there are not many ordinary people who are interested in living the etiquette. They are only born by nobles, but there is no need for kings, princes, generals and ministers. However, the family conditions must be started by Ximen Daguan, and ordinary families can also pass it. Maybe they can only make sense. Men tie a headscarf and women tie their hair.
2. The coming-of-age gift of this life
Nowadays, children's coming-of-age gifts are often the children invite their good friends to a party. This form was derived from the West and was not an ancient Chinese ritual. According to modern Western traditions, at a certain age, they will be considered as being able to officially enter the social circle. Families with conditions will carry out some ritual activities according to their class.
Now everyone’s life is getting better, and the coming-of-age ceremony is gradually flourishing in some places. According to Article 17 of the " Civil Code " in my country, natural persons over the age of 18 are adults. Natural persons under the age of eighteen are minors. Therefore, we usually regard the 18th birthday of our child as a child’s coming-of-age ceremony, and the form is generally a family celebration and a school holding.
Family celebration usually means holding a birthday party for your child or holding a family birthday party, making more dishes that your child likes to eat, making an birthday cake , and inviting relatives and friends to eat and drink together to tell your child at the dinner table how to be good for himself when he is an adult. In school, there are basically come-of-age etiquettes. The 18-year-old adult ceremony can be fully attended by students from your school.
However, it is more because everyone does not have a coming-of-age ceremony. Perhaps the children of poor families have become home early and become adults in their hearts early; perhaps it is more because they don’t know what an coming-of-age ceremony is at all, so there is no coming-of-age ceremony at all.
3. The importance of coming-of-age ceremony
The ancients attached great importance to coming-of-age ceremony. Adult-age ceremony usually only once in a person's life, and it is of great significance. Those who participated in the coming-of-age ceremony mean that the person has grown up and can start a family and start a career. There were four major rituals in ancient people in life, namely opening ceremony , adult ceremony, wedding ceremony, and funeral. Among them, the ceremony of adult ceremony is the most memorable, which shows the status of adult ceremony in the minds of the ancients.
With the changes of the times and the thinning of social atmosphere, the coming-of-age ceremony has become increasingly insignificant and unworthy. Especially in the Qing Dynasty, the Manchu rulers carried out a double physical and cultural blow to the Han people, and simply ended the coming-of-age ceremony that the Han people lasted for thousands of years, so that later people could only enter adulthood "unconsciously".The country cannot be without faith, and the people cannot be without faith. As an important activity of the Chinese nation and even the whole world, the coming-of-age ceremony should be taken seriously. This is also a baptism for the children's hearts.
Modern adult ceremony is a ceremony that symbolizes the adult stage when a boy or girl is over 18 years old. For young people representing the future, the society recognizes and manages and restrains them through certain rituals as symbols of adulthood. What is more important is to cultivate the social responsibility and sense of obligation of the recipients through adult etiquette, and its importance cannot be erased. We should look at some actions in today's society to restore adult etiquette. The recovery of adult etiquette has its positive side. By holding a solemn ceremony, it arouses the sense of responsibility of young people, especially social responsibility, and truly prepares adults in terms of ideological consciousness.
Modern adult etiquette cannot be bound by a ritual. What is important is that we can think about problems in the way of an adult in terms of thought, behavior, and mind, and assume responsibility. As a teenager, no matter whether we hold the "coming-community ceremony" or not, we must shoulder the responsibilities that adults should have after adulthood. We should live independently, think independently, and deal with problems in life, study and work independently. Only in this way can we become a true adult.
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