[A moment of relaxation, ten jokes]
1. When I first came out to work, I saved up exactly 1,000 yuan in the first bank card, and I happily showed off my father. Dad said: Then your brother pays the tuition fee for exactly one thousand, please give it. I agreed without hesitation. then ran to the ATM, unable to operate, and was excited, and when he was excited, he took two hundred. When was withdrawn, I could only withdraw 700 yuan. After withdrawing the money, I ran to the counter and asked: Why is one hundred yuan missing? counter staff looked at my bank card and said: You have crossed the bank...
2. One night in high school, several people in the dormitory were talking after turning off the lights. As a result, the vice principal who was not inspecting grabbed the group to go to the playground to stand for punishment. Six people stood according to the military posture standard and were not allowed to speak. Suddenly, the vice principal slapped the buddy next to him and said that you would make you laugh. After a while, he slapped him again and said that you were still laughing. The guy cried with aggrieved look on his face and said: I'm really not smiling, but my teeth are a little buckled, my teeth are a little buckled! It's buck teeth.
3. Uncle Zhang in the village pushed an old house to build a new house. When digging the foundation, he dug a pot of clay pot. Usually, he likes to boast about his ancestors being a high-ranking official. People in the village say that he dug up good things left by his ancestors. The happy Mr. Zhang held the clay pot when he was sleeping and eating! In order to be at ease, Uncle Zhang went to the city yesterday with a pottery jar in his arms and asked someone to find an expert to see it. The expert tweeted for an hour and said, "It's not worth it, it's just that the earthen kilns were burned in the Republic of China. It should be a urine jar! .
4. I was skating at the ice rink yesterday. I saw a boy skating on the railing. As he was skating, he suddenly saw a few wheels slipping under his skates and flew far away. I burst into laughter. He didn't know yet, but when he saw his feet slipping, he couldn't move. When I was still noticing that the wheels under my feet were gone, and I was meowing everywhere. Fortunately, I was holding it. If it was a single ice skating circle, I would probably die of falling, haha...
5. Once I went fishing by the river with my buddy, and caught a small crucian carp. It was shaking around. I was about to reach out to get it and was bitten by a small snake in the grass. I shook it a few times. The snake didn't let go. I couldn't put the fish in the snake and put it in the water. The buddy who was not far away said, "He helped me pick the fish and threw it over with the snake." My buddy picked it up with my hands. He was relieved by the snake and fell into my friend's arms all of a sudden. I was kicked down from the river. I was in a mess,
6. My colleague went to my mother-in-law's house for the first time. His mother-in-law's house lives in the countryside, and there is a big stove at home. The pot on the big stove is fixed, unlike a gas stove. After dinner, I took the initiative to wash it in order to show my diligence. Pot. There was no one in the kitchen at that time, so I pried the pot with a kitchen knife, and then passed by the living room and walked towards the pond under the dull eyes of his wife and others.
7. I was a little myopic. Once I went shopping, I suddenly saw an old classmate. I rushed up and patted her. Then she turned her head and looked at me happily. Then we were chatting there very vigorously. Later, as the two of them were talking, they became silent. It seemed that we both recognized the wrong person. …
8. The first time I went to my boyfriend’s house for dinner, his mother served me a large bowl of rice, and then kept picking up food for me, saying kindly: “Daughter, you have to finish it all, otherwise I would think my aunt’s cooking skills are not good. "I looked at the dishes that were almost piled up in the bowl, and I was just not sure what to do. My boyfriend next to me suddenly buried his head and ate a few bites of rice, then took my bowl and poured rice into his own bowl and said, "Look at you, you are so fat, eat less." "
9. Tang Monk went to the West to obtain the scriptures and bid farewell to When Emperor Taizong of Tang , he promised to Emperor Taizong that he would go back in three to five years, but he would not have gone fourteen years. Li Shimin : "Brother Yu, why did he come back in so many years? Didn't he agree to go back in three to five years? "Tang Monk: "Your Majesty, you don't know. On the 11th and May Day, you'll be crowded into dogs on the Spring Festival expressway. "Li Shimin: "The legal holiday of is only a few days, what about the other time? "Tang Monk: "It's not a legal holiday, and the expressway is not free, how can we get off! "Li Shimin: "..."
10. A man went on a business trip to another place. He was worried about his wife and suspected that there was someone outside her, so he secretly installed a camera at home.He found that a tall and beautiful woman went to her house every few days and found no other abnormalities. When he went home on a business trip for two months, he found that his wife was pregnant.
【Happy smile】
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