Recently, Youlan, a 16-year-old high school girl in Fuzhou, Fujian, became a "little focus" on the Internet due to media reports.
In November last year, she formed an sex education team called "TOUGHYOUTH" in a middle school in Fuzhou. She held a sex education class meeting in the class that was stopped by the class teacher halfway through the development. She also held a sex education theme exhibition in the summer vacation to explore and practice peer sex education.
△The picture is Youlan. The picture source is Tang Lihong
"Is this (sex education) too young at the age of 16?" "How can I educate others without experience?" "The more I teach (sex education), the sooner I am."... In the face of doubts, Youlan treated comments that were inconsistent with her ideas as much as possible, and at the same time tried to do what she "identifies with". This spring, she and her team held an online interview to understand the problems encountered by their peers and the focus of their needs for sexual knowledge; during the summer vacation, she and her team and volunteers held another exhibition on the theme of sex education, attracting many peers, and some parents also "come with their children".
△ "Selective Education" exhibition site Photo source "People are in the best"
Youlan accepted an interview with Xiaoxiang Morning News (report WeChat: xxcbbaooliao) reporters that wanting to do sex education is not an idea formed in a short period of time, but a long-term accumulation process. When the Bao Yuming incident sparked discussion in 2020, Youlan's friend told her about her experience of being sexually harassed. Since then, she has begun to follow some public accounts and bloggers related to women and sex education, such as "Don't be afraid" for women's safety popularization, "Six-story" for women's health popularization, etc.
In Youlan's opinion, sex education is not something that cannot be started. For the "TOUGHYOUTH" team, sex education is to understand, listen and answer the difficulties encountered in the lives of peers; for parents, sex education is patient explanation in front of supermarket sanitary napkin shelves; for schools, sex education can be a class meeting that speaks freely. "Sex education cultivates the ability to respect yourself and others, the ability to love yourself and love others, and the ability to choose."
In response, a reporter from Xiaoxiang Morning News (report WeChat: xxcbbaooliao) contacted several bloggers related to women and sex education. Some of them are new media workers, some are obstetricians and gynecologists who resign from Beijing Grade A Hospital and have worked as popular science students after resigning from , and some are masters of sexology who graduated from the only Institute of Human Sexology in Asia. They have their own opinions on what Youlan is doing; they also have different understandings of sex education.
is similar to Youlan. Tonglao also founded the "Don't Be Afraid of Girls" public account inspired by her own real experiences and the people around her. In her opinion, many of the dangers faced by women are closely related to the lack of sex education. The popular science content on the six-story obstetrics and gynecologists, which once was a obstetrician and gynecologist, focused more on women's physiological health, but in his opinion, popular science is just the "bottom line" of sex education. Phoebe, who graduated from the Institute of Human Sexology, believes that the most important thing in sex education at present is "reconstruction of sexual attitudes". At the same time, she also hopes that commercialization can bring greater development prospects to sex education.
The following is their self-report:
"Don't Be Afraid of Girls" official account co-sponsor Tong Lao: The dangers about "sex" are everywhere, and the key groups for sex education are children
I am Tong Lao, 30 years old this year, and the project leader of the WeChat public account "Don't Be Afraid of Girls" and is usually responsible for the appearance of related short videos.
The main content that girls should not be afraid of is popular science for women, including women's psychology, physiological health and safety, legal and property safety, etc., and will also carry out some promotions and popular science related to sex education. Although on the surface, "female safety" and "sex education" are two different areas, I think the two are largely indistinguishable.
△Don’t be afraid of the public account
The idea of creating a girl should not be afraid of the public account is because I found that, whether it is myself or the female friends around me, many people have encountered more or less dangers and injuries during their growth, such as street exposure, childhood molestation by acquaintances, peeping and even stalking when living alone, etc. The dangers about "sex" are everywhere. We just wondered whether such harm can be avoided? My answer is yes. Many problems are essentially caused by the lack of sex education. My and other initiators of the official account hope to have more content related to sex education to cover the public and minimize harm and being hurt.
△Submissions received by Tong Lao
After reading Youlan’s report, I felt that this girl had a lot of ideas and could face the doubts and do sex education. But in fact, this also indirectly reflects the lack of sex education. If families and schools can take on the burden of sex education, the 16-year-old girl will not need to do this.
In my opinion, the key group of sex education is children. In the process of popular science, we often encounter adult readers who have confided to us about their experiences of molestation or even sexual assault in childhood. These injuries will not diminish with age and may even become an obstacle to their growth. In the face of indecent or sexual assault, the child may not know what he has encountered, and he does not dare to tell his parents under the inner fear and coercion of the other party. This actually stems from the lack of sex education in the family and school. Scientific sex education first allows children to judge what they have encountered, and second, let children understand who should seek help when they are hurt, so as to avoid long-term harm.
However, sex education alone is far from enough. Once, when I was broadcasting a live broadcast, I met a 12-year-old girl. When she was very young, her parents trained her in sex education, but after she was 10 years old, she chose not to tell her mother when she was learning to swim and was touched by the coach. I asked the reason, and the girl said that once she went out to play with her mother and was "touched" by a little boy. But when the boy's mother apologized to her, the mother said, "It's okay, the child is just having fun." After hearing this, she was both surprised and sad, and was disappointed with her mother. So when she was violated for the second time, she chose to remain silent. If parents do not give their children enough security and support when they are hurt, they will lose their children's trust, which is more terrifying than the lack of sex education.
△Submissions received by Tong Lao
In the process of popular science, we can receive positive feedback from readers. The team will be very happy and feel that what we do is something meaningful to help others. But most of the time, science popularization is to prevent the damage, and we can do nothing to do about the harm that has occurred. Some time ago, a colleague was curious about the background message, so I sent him some messages. He was a strong man from Northeast China who was about 1.8 meters tall and cried to death after watching it. Our emotions will be grabbed by readers all the time, but the pain of the letters who are truly hurt is definitely something we cannot imagine, so the problem ultimately points to the original issue - sex education.
Former gynecologist at the Grade A Hospital in Beijing Sixth Floor: Many people asked me "What kind of obstetrics and gynecology do men study?" I think people always have to do science popularization. I am
I am Sixth Floor. I used to work in Beijing Three A Hospital and was an obstetrician. Later, I resigned and worked full-time on women's health popularization science. I founded the official account "Eleventh Clinic" to provide women with health knowledge and services.
△The 11th Clinic Official Account
In my popular science video barrage and comments, many people asked me "What kind of obstetrics and gynecology does a man study?" In fact, the reason is very simple. During the postgraduate stage, the internship doctors took turns in various departments. When I transferred to the obstetrics and gynecology department, I encountered a very complicated operation, involving knowledge from many departments such as gynecology and urology. I like challenging jobs, so I chose Obstetrics and Gynecology.
At that time, my main job was to accompany experts outpatient clinics to maintain order in the clinic. Because many people didn’t understand the condition and were so anxious that they pushed the door in, I printed some small notes with some basic medical standards and some common questions about the condition to relieve the patient’s nervousness and save myself some trouble. Later, I saw that someone asked about some gynecological diseases on the Internet, so I moved the things I wrote in the outpatient clinic to the Internet. This is the beginning of my popular science.
Later, the work of hospitals and popular science online became heavier and heavier, and I was facing the choice of choosing one of two. At that time, there was a lot of pseudo-popular science content on the Internet. I talked to the hospital's tutor. He thought, "If you don't write as a professionally educated doctor, wouldn't it harm people if you let others write randomly?" Moreover, in clinical work, I may only help 50 patients every day, but my popular science videos on the Internet may be able to help 100,000 people. So I resigned from the hospital and went home to do full-time science popularization. Although this seems to be "crazy" to my parents, I think someone will always do the popular science.
Sometimes many people will say I am a sex educator when they invite or introduce me, but I will say I am not. Sex education does not only include physiological health education, and women's health problems are not all caused by sex. Therefore, I am obsessed with separating these two concepts, because sex is inconvenient to talk about in the current social environment. I am worried that if women's health is classified into the category of sexuality, women's health will be "shirkable" by people.
Our sex education has been "intimidating sex education" for a long time. Adults will keep their children away from sex, which will make many children feel fearful. During the outpatient clinic, I met some girls who got pregnant unexpectedly. They felt that "my life is over", so they simply gave up and had three or four abortions in the hospital in a row. This is actually not only a lack of physiological knowledge in sex education, but also a lack of "love education".
△Six floors talk about the dilemma of sex education in the video
What Youlan is doing and people’s doubts about her also aroused my thinking. I am writing a book on physical health for adolescent girls this year, and sometimes I am confused as to why I decide what readers in this age should know? What should I say for readers? Will it be too early or too late to talk about this? These issues are not yet finalized, but I think this is a process worth constantly exploring and trying.
In my opinion, the ideal state of sex education is that it is no longer discussed as a topic alone, but is integrated into our daily education system. When we know our eyes, nose, and mouth, we should also know our private parts; when we learn complex mathematical formulas, we should also understand the principles of menstruation; when we express our opinions and emotions in words, we should also know how to face intimate relationships. I hope that in the near future, sex education will be more objective, comprehensive and in-depth understanding and application by more people, just like Chinese and mathematics.
Master of Sex in the Institute of Human Sex, Shude University of Science and Technology, Phoebe: In the process of sex education, a sense of awe for the major is very important
I am Phoebe, 29 years old this year, my undergraduate degree is Nursing , and I am studying sex at the only Institute of Human Sex in Asia. After graduating from the master's degree in
2020, I came to Hangzhou, Zhejiang to talk to mothers about the sexual difficulties faced by postpartum women and how to talk to children about sex in their children at the "happiness clinic" of a postpartum rehabilitation center.
Many of the mothers I have come into contact with have overseas study experience, some are entrepreneurs, and people with higher socio-economic status. I will consciously talk to them about the couple’s sexual life and their children’s sexual issues. They agree with the importance of sex education, are curious about these issues, and are eager to obtain a scientific and systematic learning channel.
In the territory of sex education, children's sex education is the most "volume" part. In a modern society with such a high Internet penetration rate, children will be exposed to sexual content as long as they are exposed to the Internet. Therefore, sex education should be done from early childhood.In childhood, we will use picture books to let him understand the most basic physiological organs. A little bigger will expand to gender awareness and gender identity, and break some gender stereotypes such as "masculine education" and "lady education".
△Phoebe and the children carry out sex education activities
Recently, I also saw reports about Youlan, and I think she is a great little girl. Some people say that Youlan is only 16 years old and has no sexual experience. How can she teach others? This shows that in their eyes, sex education is equal to sexual behavior education, and sex is equal to pornography. We can discover the fact that adults are actually the object of sex education that lacks the most, and many people's understanding of sex education is one-sided or even completely wrong.
△Phoebi participated in a seminar on sex education
In addition, most people’s understanding of sex education is limited to the physiological popular science level, which is far from enough.
In my opinion, "reconstruction of sexual attitudes" is the top priority of sex education at present. Its purpose is to let people understand the diversity of sex, respect and tolerate different people, and different sexual orientations and preferences. If we can do this, we will no longer label others and ourselves. Just like a place where sex education is popular, the proportion of sexual crimes is very low.
Due to the limited number of people that can be accessed by outpatient clinics, last year, I quit my outpatient consultation job at the rehabilitation center and moved to B station, becoming a sex science blogger. I hope that the knowledge and concepts of sexology can influence more people.
However, there will also be some resistance when doing popular science, such as some "sensitive words" that should not be sensitive words, and many netizens who come to consult with a "free" mentality. This is actually the reason why I don’t really want sex education to be limited to public welfare. First, pure public welfare may lead to fragmentation of content, making sex education lack systemicity; second, people may not pay so much attention to things that come from "free"; third, professional talents committed to developing sex education will not only "use love to generate electricity", so I hope that future sex education can develop towards the path of commercialization.
This year, I joined a domestic women's sex toy company and worked as a sexology consultant. In the past, there were very few professional people in the sex toy industry. Many advertising and marketing attracted consumers by playing edge balls, and even stigmatizing sex toys. I hope my professional background can bring some changes to the industry, and while this looks like a "big pie", I think it's a very important thing.
I think that in the process of sex education, a sense of awe of the major is very important. Although I have a medical background and a sexual background, I am often afraid that I will say the wrong thing, because maybe a wrong thing may affect others' life. Sex education is not about forcing everyone to talk about sex in public like us, but we work hard to help everyone break sexual shame so that sex does not need to be deliberately hidden or magnified.
△Phoebe recorded the video for the first time
subsequent
At present, Phoebe and Youlan have added WeChat friends to each other. Phoebe hopes to provide Youlan and her team with more professional and systematic sexual information. Youlan also uses every minute of her summer vacation to prepare for the "Selective Education Exhibition" held in Fuzhou.
Youlan also has a strong interest and yearning for sexology for future professional planning. These like-minded young people will continue to move forward on the road of sex education.
(At the request of the interviewee, all the characters in the article are pseudonyms)
Xiaoxiang Morning News Reporter Jiang Ziwen Intern Qiu Qiyuan
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