movie " Life Events " has been released for 12 days, with a box office of over 800 million yuan. Many viewers commented that this warm film makes me understand how to love and respect life. The theme of the film rarely touches on the funeral industry, and puts the topic of death that the public regards as a taboo on the table, allowing the audience to see the industry story behind the funeralist played by Zhu Yilong.
"Big Events in Life" poster.
He Xun from Liupanshui, Guizhou, is a funeralist engaged in burial work, just like Zhu Yilong in the movie. Born in 1985, he has been engaged in the funeral industry for 8 years, served thousands of rebirths, and experienced countless separations of life and death.
From "The Great Events in Life", he saw many microcosms of himself when he started his business. Like Zhu Yilong, he carried the coffin down from the stairs. The first time he came into contact with the body of abnormal death brought strong sensory and psychological stimulation. There were also touching scenes similar to the touching scenes of his family kneeling down to thank him after the service. After entering the industry, he also experienced a change in his mentality, from initially just treating the funeralist as a job, to later becoming a sense of belonging to the industry and developing a sense of awe. He can proudly say to his daughter, "Dad is also a star-like person."
The following is the oral statement of funeralist He Xun:
"Dad is actually a star person"
Because the public is still relatively taboo about death and the funeral industry, at first, my expectations for the movie "The Great Events in Life" were not very high.
He Xun and his colleagues are at work. Photo provided by the interviewee. On the day the movie
was premiered, I was on a business trip and watched some reviews. I saw that the audience had a good reputation. After returning home the next day, I planned to take my daughter to watch it.
I have two daughters, one is 7 years old and the other is 5 years old. Over the years, I have never known how to explain to them what kind of job their father is doing. At their age, they have no idea about death. They say it too complicatedly, they don’t understand it, they speak it too shallowly, and they are afraid of scaring them. I just happened to use this movie to let them understand what I do. There is a plot in the movie
: When the little girl Wenwen was in kindergarten, she told the teacher that her father was a star. At that time, I turned around and told my eldest daughter Ruyi that my father was actually a star. Although she didn't answer me, I knew she should understand when she saw the tears rising in her eyes. I was quite moved and took a photo of the child at that time. From that day on, I changed the name on my short video platform to "One Flower, One World - A Star Man".
"One Flower, One World" is the name of the Life Culture Company I founded in 2015. I am not willing to use names like "Going to Heaven" in the movie. Store names in the funeral industry are mostly accompanied by words such as "Paradise", "Nostalgia", and "Grateful". I think such names are inevitably uncomfortable.
Why do I use the name "one flower, one world"? I especially like a Zen poem: "Looking at the morning when the flowers bloom and the trees are full of red, and watching the flowers fall and the trees fall and still empty; if flowers compare to the things on earth, flowers are the same as those on earth." I hope that everyone's life is like the life of a flower, from budding to blooming, and then to withering, it is actually a cycle of life. I just want to use this spirit to convey this love.
"Big Events in Life" lyrics poster.
I am very grateful to the movie "Big Events in Life". It allows more people to understand the existence of our profession and know what we do. Many people around me think that the funeral industry is a waste of time, and those who work in this industry are people from very low-class people in society. This movie presents the audience with a more real side of the industry.
In the past few days, our "Flower, One World" has launched an event called "I am an embalmer, are you willing to shake hands or hug me?" in Guizhou. Some cooperate with the theater, the event is in the theater lobby, and some are directly in the pedestrian street with a large flow of people, and there are quite a lot of people participating.
In fact, in 2016, we also did similar activities. There were a lot of people watching, but the results were not very good.Because embalmer is different from a funeralist. He has contact with the body and needs to do repairs, make-up and other work for the body, which is more taboo for many people. Some people left me messages on social platforms, saying that if you wash your hands and change your clothes, you are still willing to shake hands with you.
This event was very different, and many people were more enthusiastic. For example, friends who have experienced the death of their relatives and attended the funeral will understand us in particular. There is also a large number of young people, especially those born in the 1990s. Their views on death and funeral industry are not so conservative. Coupled with the promotion of movies or other channels, their views on life and death have changed. Some young people are even naughty and come over to shake hands and hug you, jokingly saying that they will have that day sooner or later, and then they will give him a discount.
The original intention of entering the industry was to send away the person I loved by myself
My dream since childhood was to be a forensic doctor.
When I was about the third year of junior high school, I watched the TVB drama "我未分类 " starring Ouyang Zhenhua . It tells the story of how to solve a strange case in the Song Dynasty forensic masters Song Ci . After reading it, I felt that the profession of forensic medicine was too great, and he could turn a corpse that could not speak into a witness. From then on, I became very interested in forensics. In addition, I have liked to be innovative since I was a child. The more others reject, the more I like it. Stills from the TVB drama "The Record of the Injustice".
However, because I was young, rebellious, ignorant, and my academic performance was particularly poor at that time. I failed the college entrance examination and my dream of forensic doctors was shattered.
Because I am a sports student, I often participate in some national and provincial competitions. I am a national second-level athlete with long jump . I have good sports results, so I was specially recruited by a university in Chongqing and chose the major of business administration.
During my college years, my first love was in Zunyi Medical College and I studied Advanced Nursing . At that time, I rented a house and lived directly next to her school with my girlfriend. It was equivalent to accompanying her. When they had a dissection class, I went to class and learned a lot about human anatomy . I learned more courses in their school than I learned in my own school.
Compared with some people who later worked in the funeral industry, this may be my innate condition. Looking back now, I find it very interesting.
After graduating from university, I worked as a clerk in the local finance bureau of Liupanshui for one year. After resigning, I worked as a plainclothes policeman for two years. Later, I learned to do business, opened a bar, did the real estate industry, and marketing planning.
I first came into contact with the funeral industry in 2014, when a relative passed away. That was the first time I witnessed the entire burial process with my own eyes, which can be described as "dirty, messy and poor".
At that time, the standards in this industry were not sound enough, and the embalmers were basically not trained. Some people could bury the deceased as long as they were braver, which gave people a very unprofessional feeling. In many places in the south of us, we need to shave our heads for those who die, especially men. What I remember clearly was that when the embalmer shaved my relative's head, he cut some holes on his head and his scalp was still bleeding. At that time, I was thinking that if a living person went to get a haircut and his scalp was cut like this, it would definitely be amazing. Why are people cut off like this after they die? As a family member, I can only dare not speak out.
The entire burial environment is also very bad. The towels used to clean the deceased seem to be temporarily prepared, and the environment of the funeral home also makes people feel very uncomfortable. Moreover, ordinary people do not know much about the entire process of funeral, there is no standard in the industry, and there are many customs. The families of the deceased are also very tired and helpless while being sad.
This funeral touched me very much. Because I was the only child, I was thinking at that time that my parents raised me for the rest of their lives, and they would leave me one day. What should I do then?
In fact, my original intention to engage in this industry was to let my parents be more dignified and decent when they leave, instead of hurriedly ending their lives in a dirty and messy environment.I often receive messages from netizens saying that when my relatives die, I can only watch the funeral staff serve their relatives, and I can't participate in it, which is a pity. If I could participate and send away the person I love with myself, it would be a very proud and proud thing for me.
After founding the company, I lived in the funeral home for 8 months
After that funeral, I began to understand this industry and saw my life goals. I wanted to do some standardized things through my own efforts in this industry.
I spent a year visiting all over the country, including Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, Shenzhen and other cities. , , and conducted an investigation and survey of this industry. In 2015, the "One Flower, One World" company was officially established. After starting my business, I cut off all my previous financial resources and left myself with no way out.
In order to master more knowledge and get in touch with the body, I decided to start from the grassroots level. I reached a cooperative relationship with a funeral home in Lincheng to help them move their bodies for free and find some cooperation space. So when I saw Zhu Yilong carrying the coffin from the upper floor in "The Great Events of Life", I was particularly touched.
Although I have made a lot of preparations and learned a lot of professional knowledge, I thought I could face this job calmly, but I was still caught off guard by reality.
The first time I came into contact with the body was shortly after I entered the funeral home. One night, I received a call from the traffic police that a traffic accident occurred on the highway, so we asked us to go over and deal with it. When we arrived at the scene, firefighters were breaking down the deformed vehicle so that we could move the body out. That was the first time I actually came into contact with the body. At that time, the person was already dead, but when I was transporting, I could still feel a little warm. At that time, I felt that life was too fragile, and I was stunned. The master who went there saw me in a daze and shouted, then I recovered.
When I was working in a funeral home, I lived in a room separated from the morgue by a wall, and I lived there for 8 months. During that time, whenever I had the chance, I would observe the corpse up close and think about how to repair and plastic surgery on abnormal dead bodies.
Our country has a funeral education school with a professional education system, and there are no more than 10 schools in total. In fact, many of our peers have basically not experienced special learning. Funeral knowledge is basically learned by self-study. I went to buy some forensic anatomy books or watch some videos and take notes. In addition, in the funeral home, I contacted the remains more frequently and made rapid progress.
Stills from "Big Events in Life". The funeralist played by Zhu Yilong is sorting out the body.
There are no professional restorators or embalmers in the funeral home. The general body cleansing and other work can be completed by employees inside the funeral home. If it is a body that died abnormally, the funeral home may have to hire some surgical doctors to deal with it. I am brave, and I have some artistic skills since I was a child, so I like to study. After three or four months in the funeral home, I can do body repair and plastic surgery.
For example, some bodies have damaged eyeballs because the eyeballs have no bone support. After being damaged, they will be a hole that cannot be repaired. Now, you can choose to use prosthetics or skin wax to restore them and then apply makeup. It is basically impossible to see, but there was no such technology at that time, so I used dough to fill it.
. At that time, in the funeral home, the body was repaired and integrated. The surgeons basically used needles to sew. After sewing, even if they did the repair, the needle holes were still obvious. The family members were very sad. When I did it, I spliced it bit by bit with glue, trying to make it as little as possible without any trace. We really tried little by little in practice to get what we call a set of system standards today to face customers.
Want to bring some spiritual comfort to broken families
In the beginning, I started to work in the funeral industry, and I kept it from my family. They only knew that I opened such a company and thought that the specific work was done by employees, so they would never have thought that I would touch the body with my own hands.People are still taboo about death, and I felt very uncomfortable at that time. It wasn't until three or four years later that they really knew what I was actually doing.
I work outside the city and go home once or twice a month. Once when I went home, my daughter had just learned to walk and ran over and was about to hug her. I was about to reach out, but suddenly my hand shrank back like an electric shock in my subconscious mind, and the scene of myself touching the body flashed in my mind. I felt very uncomfortable at that time, so I quickly went to wash my hands. After washing it many times, I carefully opened my arms and hugged my daughter tightly, feeling the temperature brought by my little life, and deeply smelled the smell of my daughter, and tears fell unconsciously.
My wife especially liked watching movies at that time. After seeing my condition, she recommended me to watch a Japanese movie called "The Immortal". This movie has a great impact on me, and many of the things in it are more realistic. At that time, I adjusted my state and returned to the funeral home. I was going to work in a different state of mind. Since I made a choice, don’t give up easily.
Stills of the movie "The Immortal".
really made me feel awe of this industry, and my mentality changed because of one thing.
In the second half of 2016, I was able to complete the restoration and plastic surgery independently. One day, I received a task. A child fell from a mixing station on the construction site and was beyond recognition. When he was sent to the funeral home, the child's mother cried heartbrokenly and kept shouting: My son, my son. The child's father looked a little dull. He took out a box of cigarettes from his blue top, lit one, and slowly squatted down. The cigarette in his hand didn't smoke from beginning to end, but his mouth was shaking. The cigarette silently burned out at his fingertips. I still remember the whole scene when I think back on it.
At that time, I was thinking, if the person lying here was me, my parents would definitely be as desperate as them. At that time, I had empathy for the first time.
When the body was sent to the morgue, I asked the child's mother if there were any photos of the child. Because she had not had time to take a portrait, the child's mother took out a cell phone tremblingly, and under the broken screen was a photo of her son. I took the phone and was a pretty handsome guy, about 20 years old.
I put my phone on the dressing table rack and repaired and buried the body according to the photos. I cleaned the appearance, filled, filled, sutured, repaired, cleaned the body, plastic surgery, makeup, etc., and did it for several hours. This is the first time I have done this with such a heart, and the first time I have "conversed" with the body while doing it. Although I have repeated it many times before, I used to treat them as "products" without warmth, and I feel very regretful and feel guilty at this moment. After I finished
, I called the children's parents in to watch, went out and lit a cigarette, and stood outside. The mother looked at the child carefully, stroked his cheek, and then began to search around until she saw me leaning against the door frame, walked up to me, knelt on the ground, pulled my trouser legs, and said with tears in her eyes: "Thank you for returning my son."
was such a move that recalled my original intention. I think this thing should be done well, not only to make money, but also to bring some spiritual comfort to many broken families. Like Zhu Yilong in the movie, I let go of my grudges and found myself. I maintained an empathy towards every reborn person and was full of awe of this industry.
can feel the warmth of life and the inheritance of love
I just started my business and entered the funeral industry. During the time I entered the funeral industry, my dreams were shattered by reality, and only two little brothers were with me. At that time, I spent most of my time running outside and spent too little time with my family. In addition, I started a business in those years and had a lot of debts. At most, I owed 8 million yuan. My family was dragged down by me. Life could not see hope, and I could not be with my family, which eventually led to the breakdown of my marriage.
In 2019, the company officially got on track. The company now has two or three hundred employees, distributed in Yunnan, Guizhou and other places. The youngest employee is only 21 years old.
The employees of the company are all training them themselves. I used a classic line in "Xiwen Lu" "The heart is not upright, and the sword is evil", as a dogma for employee training.
As an embalmer, three conditions must be met: integrity, kindness and empathy. Why be upright? Because in many cases, we are in contact with the body alone. If you are not open-minded, you cannot overcome this fear. And as a male embalmer, sometimes you will come into contact with some female remains, such as cleaning up, dressing, burying, makeup, etc., and you must be upright.
The so-called kindness means that you cannot just look at money. No matter what the other party’s identity is, our company only has one charging standard because life is equal. If the customer really does not meet the charging standards, but as long as the company's public welfare conditions are met, the service can be provided for free.
Empathy means treating the client as his family, whether it is funeral service or burial and makeup. Don’t ask me if I am satisfied. The employee should treat the other party as his relatives. If he feels that the service has passed, he will ask the family to come and see him.
I have been in the funeral industry for 8 years and have sent away thousands of deceased people. Many people may ask, will your heart become numb when facing so many deaths every day? In fact, until now, we have not only not been numb, but are increasingly experiencing the truth and warmth of life from the matter of death.
Stills from "Big Events in Life". The funeralist is carrying the remains.
Just like our staff taking to the streets to do activities, it is actually a great psychological challenge for them. In full view of everyone, some people really respect you, some people regard you as a clown, and some people are afraid of you. When they were able to walk out bravely and see the tears of touch in their eyes, I knew that they really did not work because of work, but really respected life.
Every time employees have finished their services, I can feel their growth. Some employees know that there are embalmers after their relatives die. Some of them are engaged in this industry, and some of them come with regrets. For example, after their relatives die, they may not have time to do something, and some regrets are there, and they make up for it with regrets.
Now our entire burial, including the funeral, interacts with the family to let them participate in the part of bidding farewell to their relatives. Just like having a baby, we have to hug each other when we are born, which is to welcome the arrival of a new life. At the same time, when we leave, we should also wipe our relatives' bodies. Even if we wash our faces and hands, it is at least a kind of inheritance of love.
"Major Events in Life" There are also situations in which the living will be done after the funeral. In reality, there are also
German philosopher Martin Heidegger has a philosophical concept called "live to death". Sometimes we live too comfortably and often ignore some of the views on death.
In the past two years, the epidemic has awakened many people's perception of death. Before the outbreak of the epidemic, it was difficult for us to promote work. Many people just heard that you are in the funeral industry and would hide far away and were unwilling to contact you. But when talking about death after the epidemic, I can feel that people's mentality has changed a lot.
There is an example of this: a girl in her 30s lives with her mother, and her mother died at home at 1 a.m. due to illness. She was particularly frightened and called everyone around her, but she couldn't help her. She turned on all the lights in the house and didn't call me through a friend until 5 a.m. Because of our special work nature, during the epidemic, as long as we have a health certificate and a pass, we can go to the door for service.
When my colleague and I knocked on her door, it was already 6 o'clock in the morning. After she opened the door and saw us, she fainted. When she woke up, she hugged me tightly and kept crying. We comforted her, then buryed her mother and finally sent it to the funeral home. She thanked us very much. During the epidemic, there are many things like this.
The line "Life is a big deal" is very important. What is a big deal in life? It means cherishing every beautiful emotion you have.
In "Major Events in Life", an old man who is still alive held a funeral for himself. In fact, since 2019, our company has a product called "Life Contract", which is a contract signed with us on how to carry out funeral services after the death of themselves or their relatives. Our company now has more than 10,000 customers nationwide, and the youngest customer is only 4 years old. He is very healthy and his parents signed it for him in advance.
In fact, as long as people truly understand life and know our industry, they are willing to participate in planning their own funerals. There is another plot in the movie where the patient in the hospital has not passed away, and some people go to start a business. In reality, there are actually many such phenomena. This is also the purpose of why we have to make a "living contract". People have already handed over everything that follows to us when they are alive. I hope that in this last period, the people around them will not be disturbed.
Beijing News reporter Teng Chao
edited by Huang Jialing
proofreading by Zhao Lin
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