Harmony Garden 135 nights a week to solve the problem of rebelliousness of Internet addiction and rebellion in learning
Teacher: Tonight, class in this group to help new parents. The following are the growth experiences and problems written by new parents:
My daughter is 16 years old this year. During the age of 0 to 3 years old, I lived with my grandmother for one year (during that period, I went back at least once a week). In elementary school, he has always been among the top few in the class, especially excellent, obedient and sensible. Since the first semester of the second year of junior high school, I have been taking leave due to headaches. Every time she said she had decided to go to school, but when she arrived at school, she felt uncomfortable all over and couldn't go to school. She didn't go to school intermittently and in the third year of junior high school. We have been showing her headaches, and have been to Zhengzhou and Beijing, and have taken a lot of medicine. She said she could not participate in the recruitment, so we had to give up. Now she was at home reading extracurricular books, looking at mobile phones, and writing. Don't like to go out very much.
Let me add to the child’s situation. In order to keep the child by his side, I took her from her hometown at the age of 2 and 10 months and started to go to kindergarten. When I went to kindergarten, I found that the child had the habit of constantly gnawing fingers and touching fluffy things, and she would be very quiet at that time. In order to correct her, I criticized her and taught her a lesson many times, but I didn't change it. I have excellent academic performance in elementary school for 1-4 years. The things arranged by the teacher are completed with quality and quantity, and I have never asked for leave. When she was 10 years old and in the fourth grade, I gave birth to her sister. On the third day of her sister, she said she felt uncomfortable in her stomach and needed to take leave if she couldn't go to school. Sometimes she was fine at home, but once she was sent to the school gate, she said she felt uncomfortable in her stomach and couldn't even get out of school. From that time on, she started taking leave, seeing a doctor, and going to school again. Until she was in the 6th grade, she said she had recovered from her stomach pain and started to go to school normally. In elementary school, she may be introverted and has few friends, so she only plays with her deskmate.
It is normal to be in the seventh grade of junior high school. You study hard and have no health problems. When I arrived in the second year of junior high school, as I said above, there was a headache. Once I arrived at school, the headache would become even worse, and I entered the mode of seeing a headache and taking a break from school.
When she first started to leave school, she was self-disciplined at home and studied hard. If she didn’t know how to do it, I would ask me questions after get off work. He also made an oath and wrote it into his room: don’t worry about the past, don’t be afraid of the future. See you in Chongqing University !
wrote me a few days before the summer vacation was about to start school, expressing her gratitude to me, and writing that every time she "heard me telling her dad about how to cure a headache in the bedroom", she felt very uncomfortable and added a burden to her parents. She also said that she would study hard after school starts and asked to transfer from the good middle school in the city she went to to a school that was worse than that. But after school started, I went to school for a day, and I couldn't go the next day, and my head hurts again. I haven't been to school until now.
Good evening everyone, class starts now. Tonight we help new parents. Have you read the growth experiences written by new parents? Have the new parents arrived?
Parent 1: Hello everyone.
New parents: Hello, teacher! Hello everyone!
Teacher: Good evening everyone!
Parent 2: I saw it, psychological problems are mapped to physical symptoms.
Teacher: Yes!
Parents 1: The child has physical symptoms very early.
Teacher: New parents, your child bit his fingers when he was a child, and you criticized and even beaten and scolded him did not solve the problem. Do you know what the problem is now?
New parents: Is it a mental problem?
Parents 1: When a child bites his finger, he feels stressed in his heart and has nowhere to relieve it.
Teacher: What do you think of the new parents? Parent 1 You said it very well.
New Parent: Yes, she is nervous and squeezing her thumbs up
Yes, she is nervous and squeezing her thumbs up
Teacher: New Parent, if the child is nervous and squeezing her thumbs up squeezing her thumbs up, you should understand that it is nervous that causes problems for the child! You used to think it was a habit of children, but now you know what the reason is, right?
New Parent: Yes, it turns out that I feel it’s a problem for criticizing her.
Teacher: What are the plush toys that make children nervous when they are young?
Parents 1: The child is very pitiful.
Teacher: Criticism can only make children more nervous and the problem is more serious!
Parents 1: The child has not grown up with his parents since childhood, and the parents directly took her away from the elderly. To her, her parents are like strangers, and she is very panicked inside.
New parents: I went to my grandmother’s house at the age of 1.
Parent 2: Some time ago, I came into contact with a child who had nails . The bite of cannot be shorter. I reminded my mother to care more about the child. He said she knew that the child had been like this long ago.
Teacher: What have you experienced at my grandmother’s house?
Parent 1: She feels uneasy, so she will chew her nails or touch her toys. When parents criticize again, their children are even more afraid.
New parents: It’s great to take her with my grandmother and uncle and aunt. I’ll go back at least twice a week.
Teacher: That is to say, what are the things that cause children to chew their fingers and touch fluff toys?
Parent 1: We are all too ignorant and treat infants as if they don’t understand anything. Including myself.
Teacher: New parents, the child must have something to do, nothing to do, the child won’t do this?
New Parent: I don’t feel anything is wrong.
Teacher: What do you think is the reason why children chew their fingers now?
Parent 2: So the child will have problems.
New parents: I feel anxious and stressed.
Teacher: What is the reason for this anxiety?
Parent 2: Lack of love.
New parents: I won’t talk to her about other things now, she won’t bite her.
Teacher: Two years old and ten months old, I picked it back from my grandmother’s house and went to kindergarten. As a result, I chewed my fingers and touched the fluffy toy. What is the reason for the child like this?
New parents: Is it insecure?
Teacher: Now when you talk to him or her about happy things, will she still bit her fingers?
New parents: I won’t be happy.
Teacher: It’s not the ordinary sense of insecurity, but the serious sense of insecurity.
Parents 2: There is nothing to replace the love of parents.
Teacher: Since I can’t be happy, it means that the child has encountered some unhappy things and cannot solve them, so he bit his finger.
New Parent: Yes.
Teacher: Children from grades 1 to 4 are relatively normal and have excellent grades. After grade 4, you gave birth to her sister, but the stomach felt uncomfortable on the third day. Do you know what the reason is?
New parents: I feel even more insecure. Worrying that my mother only loves her sister
Teacher: After having a sister, how do you treat her? Why are you worried about only loving your sister and not loving her?
Parents 1: The child feels neglected by his parents and is a little afraid of being abandoned.
New parents: After having a sister, I thought she was the older child. It turned out that I helped her wash her hair when she took a shower. After having a sister, she washed her own.
Parents 1: The more you have another child, the more you should pay attention to the first child. It made her feel that her parents still love her.
New parents: Sometimes she even asked her to pour water for her sister, but she really paid much less attention to her.
Teacher: You have abandoned him and her before and gave her to grandma to take care of her. The scar has not healed completely. As a result, you have a younger sister again and do not take care of her. Isn’t it normal for her to feel stomach discomfort?
Parents 1: The child is sick to remind her that she is uncomfortable and unhappy. Now I understand a little.
New Parent: Yes, recalling her stomach disease . Well, the last time she saw a doctor was when the Provincial Children's Hospital asked her if she liked her sister?
Teacher: The easiest thing for people to feel uncomfortable is stomach discomfort. As the saying goes, stomach pain is so painful.
Parent 1: In the past, when my son was a child, he would have golden lumps in his neck at any time, commonly known as lymph nodes swollen . Just angry. At that time, I wondered where did this child get depressed?
Teacher: After the child goes to elementary school, it is normal for grades 1 to 4, with excellent grades. He was abandoned before and the scars he brought to his grandmother gradually healed, but after having a younger sister, you abandoned her a little. It was because his previous wound worsened again, so he developed physical symptoms.Can you understand?
New parents: I can understand, I was too ignorant before, I never paid attention to the hearts of my children, I only knew that I was sick and went to the hospital.
Teacher: You can understand now, it’s not bad, come on!
Parent 1: It turns out that he was angry, but he was too young and could not do anything, so he could only endure it. Children need psychological nutrition. In the past, we only knew that the child was not hungry.
New parents: Thank you everyone.
Teacher: The first grade of junior high school children are in good condition. They often have headaches in their first grade. In the end, they cannot go to school because of headaches. What causes the headache?
Parents 1: Headache is a physical symptom. The long-term accumulation of bad emotions in the heart.
New Parent: I have sorted out this several times but still couldn't find it. I don't know if it is. Once the teacher asked her, she didn't memorize it well. In front of everyone, she said she didn't memorize it well.
Parent 1: The teacher said this to her, which is also a stimulation for her. Adolescent children have strong self-esteem.
New Parent: I was so impressed that this time. I went to pick her up after school. She was unhappy. I asked her for a long time before she cried and told me.
Teacher: Every time the child says he wants to go to school, he feels uncomfortable when he arrives at school and cannot go to school. What does this mean?
Parents 1: The school makes her suffer.
New parents: I am afraid of campus.
Teacher: The teacher is flirting with your child in front of the whole class. When is the child going to which grade?
New parents: First grade semester. It was in the top 100 class in the school. The teacher said that she was 39 in the school at that time. She also wanted to try and ask me to change the environment for her. After two transfers, it didn't work. The child lost confidence.
Teacher: The teacher is tempted by your child in front of the whole class. This is a serious stimulation, which leads to the child's conditional emotional reaction. If this matter is not handled for a long time, it will be prolonged and generalized. If you transfer to him yourself, he will not adapt to other schools and become sensitive and suspicious, for fear of being stimulated by the teacher again, so it is difficult for him to go to school and will have serious physical symptoms. Your child was 39 in the school at that time, which means his IQ was very good. Can you ask you and your child’s father’s personality traits?
New Parent:I am introverted but very stubborn. Her father is relatively easy-going.
Teacher: Not all children raised by grandmas will have problems. If you hear that grandmas and their children have no problem raising, then you have to consider the child’s own problems. What is your state before and during conception? What is your emotional state? Is it more good aspects, such as being grateful and helpful, or more bad aspects, such as complaining?
New parents: It’s not good before conception, because his father is a person who follows the situation. I want to change him and have many quarrels. In addition, I traveled thousands of miles to Xinjiang and felt a strong sense of loneliness. After conception, I was in a bad mood because I had less amniotic fluid for every pregnancy test.
Teacher: Are you teaching in Xinjiang?
Since you often quarrel before conception and you are in a bad mood, the child will inherit more bad aspects of you when he is born.
Parents 1: The mother's emotions during pregnancy will affect the development of the child.
New parents: It’s a follower, and his father is a soldier.
Teacher: You are in a bad mood during conception, and these will affect the child.
Parent 1: Yes.
Teacher: A child is born to be a sensitive, suspicious person who cannot withstand setbacks.
New parents: The child is 1 year old. We went from Xinjiang to Zhoukou, Henan. There was a turmoil. I found someone to contact work. I was worried and anxious.
Teacher: What is the situation for the child during confinement?
Parents 1: We were all ignorant before and did not realize that the mother’s emotions and physical fitness had a great impact on the child.
New parents: It is OK during the confinement period, about 2 months, and start crying at 10 o'clock every night until 2 o'clock
Teacher, parents 1: Why do children cry at this time?
New parents: I don’t know, I can only carry her around the room during this period of time, and there is no way to torture me. I lost 10 kilograms in two months
Parent 1: The child has taken you off, and it’s abnormal to cry this night.
is not a common phenomenon for children.If children have night crying problems, that is a common phenomenon.
Teacher: You will hug the child whenever he cries. Why did the child cry?
Parent 3: The main problem of children being timid and afraid of things lies in their mothers. Mom will not say that I love him. Children lack love and guidance.
New parents: Sometimes they also let go, and after they let go, she cried until 2 o'clock.
Teacher: In the confinement field, the child cried, what should you do?
New parents: She doesn’t cry during the confinement period.
Teacher: When did you start crying?
New parents: I started crying in two months.
Teacher: The child is crying, don’t you find the reason? For example, if you are hungry, cold, and urinate.
New Parent: I found it, what you said is normal, and finally I found a superstitious person to read it.
Teacher: If it is normal, it is normal for a child to cry. At this time, you can put it higher and keep the tears from flowing into your ears. You will naturally stop crying. If you hug her as soon as she cries, then will you develop this habit? She took you down in her subconscious mind.
Parents: What does superstition say?
New Parent: I don’t understand what superstitiously said, and I actually cried all night long afterwards.
Teacher: From the above, we can also see that your child is a special child, and her growth experience was also quite special when she was young. After our discussion, why children now have some physical symptoms? Do you know the reason?
New Parent: I understand.
Teacher: Can taking medicine solve the problem?
New parents: The problem cannot be solved, and it is not cured. Children who take medicine can’t eat.
Teacher: What medicine do you take?
New Parents: Xuanwu Hospital prescribes nerve mediation, guweisu, vitamins, Shuganjieyu Capsules. After taking the medicine, the child ate less and less. A while ago, she heard her classmate's mother say that she could take depression medicine. After taking the medicine, she was confused all day. I won’t eat anymore, and the child doesn’t want to eat anymore.
Parents: You are too strong in character and too soft-hearted, how can you give your children medicine?
New parents: I want her to get better soon.
Teacher: I gave the child medicine, but did the child get better as soon as possible?
New parents: It's getting worse.
Parents: The child is under pressure, the pressure in school, the pressure from parents, the child is getting sick.
Teacher: The person who tied the bell must also solve the problem of the child. If you solve the problem of the child, you must remove the cause of the child’s problems. Otherwise, taking these medicines will not have any good effect. One child is sensitive and suspicious, and the second is that the school teacher gives the child a certain amount of stimulation, and all these problems must be solved.
New Parent: Now I realize that I have to change if I want my children to get better.
Teacher: Very good, you can recognize your own problems. This is a good start. Some parents may not recognize their own problems!
Recognizes that if you can do it again, your child’s problem will be solved halfway. Will we discuss how to solve the problems of children themselves and school next time?
New Parent: OK.
Parents: If you don’t know how to say it in front of your children, don’t say it. What you want to say is positive energy.
New parents: Yes.
Teacher: How long has it been since the child went to school? Is he now taking a leave of absence? When will school resume? All these situations need to be explained clearly, so that the next step will be easier.
New Parent: I haven’t been to school for nearly 2 years.
Teacher: It’s been a long time.
New Parent: Yes, there are too many detours.
Teacher: It’s not scary to take detours, what you are afraid of is to keep making mistakes.
New Parent: Yes, so all the smart children are ruined in my hands!
Teacher: Let’s do it step by step, okay?
New Parent: OK.
Parents: New parents, their children can rank more than 30 in key schools in the city, and their IQ is very high. Let’s practice together, we are from the same place, and we have another companion, how great!
New Parent: Yes, with your help and encouragement, I believe that I will get better and better, and my children will get better.
Parents: As long as you firmly believe that your child can be adjusted well and according to the teacher’s guidance, you will definitely be able to change it. This process may be very slow, so you need to be mentally prepared.
New Parent: I am prepared for this.
Parent: I have been studying for three years before my family and children can improve. Moreover, the process in the middle is full of twists and turns, ups and downs. It is worth it for us to work so much harder for such a cute child. I had such a belief at the beginning, and I never gave up and insisted on learning to the end, so that I can change my current situation.
New Parent: Yes, I will definitely work hard.
Teacher: Okay, this is the end of tonight’s course. Teacher Yue’s Tencent Conference live class “Scientific Laws of Human Growth” is welcome to actively participate in the interaction. See you tomorrow night!
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