A good marriage is done. A happy family requires mastering methods. Play three cards well and give you a harmonious and beautiful family life.
" Tian Ji Horse Racing " is almost a well-known story for passers-by. Qi State general Tian Ji likes horse racing. Once he played a game with Qi Wei Wang . He failed several times. Later, his good friend Sun Bin gave him an idea, but he was still the three horses but he turned defeat into victory. Why? is because he changed the order of appearance in the horse's game.
contains wisdom and effective strategies. This story shows that changing the arrangement and combination of things can often cause great changes in things. The same is true for marriage and family life. My teacher, psychologist , Wei Zhizhong, , Mr. Wei, in the marriage and love series course "Six People, One Bed" explained the following theory: it seems that it is a couple, but in fact it is six people living together.
The wife has three roles in her heart: mother, woman, little girl, and husband also has three roles in her heart: father, man, and little boy. If you want to have a sweet love in your family and marriage life, you must learn to set up troops. Just like Tian Ji's horse racing, he judges the situation, observes the opponent's role changes and plays the corresponding cards.
When a couple in love enters marriage and family, their three roles should change. Moreover, these six characters have different psychological needs. Marriage and love are the sweetest when every psychological role of everyone is satisfied. Otherwise, there will be problems with the marriage.
For example: When the "little boy" in the husband's role appears, the wife should respond with the role of "mother". Similarly, when the "little girl" in the wife role comes out, the "father" character in the husband role should appear. Only by tacit cooperation between the six characters of the two can we win the happiness of our family.
A few days ago, a friend suddenly called and said she was divorced. The reason is that my husband cheated on him and fell in love with a woman who was ten years younger than him. A couple who have been together for more than ten years will part. My friend cried bitterly, complaining about his hard work and hard work in so many years of marriage, and serving his husband and children diligently, but in the end he did not enjoy a good life. He gave all his energy and emotions to this family, but he did not receive the love of his husband. She said she was really unwilling to give up.
Listening to my friend's cry, I think the failure of this marriage may be because she is a strong woman, and the failure is because she is an "all-round player". She has to listen to her family affairs, and she also takes care of all the housework. From beginning to end, she is a character - mother. It can be seen that the "little girl" in her role is always missing, resulting in the "father" role in the husband role being idle. The psychological needs of the husband's "father" role have never been met. This leads to the husband cheating and seeking psychological satisfaction outside of marriage.
The way to get along between husband and wife is like a chess process. So how can we achieve the sweetness of marriage and love?
First of all, husband and wife should not hold on to the end in their marriage life. I can't do whatever card the other party plays, I just keep it unchanged forever. There are too many women who are very strong and diligent, but they just cannot get a happy life.
If a woman wants to learn to let her "little girl" come out for a walk, she often shows weakness. Or it would be better to be lazy. You cannot let all the housework and trivial matters be done by yourself, and you cannot regard surrounding your husband and children as your own. We must let others understand that home is not the responsibility of one person, and that everyone must share housework and labor. Hard work is not a label that women are born with. The more hardworking a woman is, the lazier the men around her will be.
Blind efforts and sacrifices are not great but stupid. Smart people should know when to change what roles, and allow different roles of the other party to be staged one by one. Satisfy the psychological satisfaction of the other party’s various roles. People in marriage must learn to live a wise life and make love better.
The second is to respect the other party, and speaking well is the magic weapon for the love of husband and wife.
When both parties are relaxed, it is easy to accept anything.When one party is hot or emotional, the best way for the other party is to calm down first. I can't use the fire and say harsh words without any restraint. It hurts the couple's emotions. The relationship between husband and wife should be principled, whether it is a husband or wife, they have their own principles and bottom line. Husbands and wife should give each other more respect and understanding, so that is the correct marriage and love psychology.
In the end, both husband and wife should continue to grow themselves.
American psychologist Stenberg believes that passion, intimacy and commitment together constitute love. Couples must grow themselves through continuous adjustments. Only in this way can passion, intimacy and commitment be achieved and a stable and continuous love be established. So love and being loved are a kind of ability and also a learning process.
To achieve a good marriage and love relationship, it requires ability and wisdom. Maybe we are still a long way from a beautiful marriage and love, but eternal and noble love has always been a dream we strive for with all our strength. I believe that people are willing to pursue it with their entire lives.
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