01
Every family has a difficult sutra to recite, and it is difficult for honest officials to make a decision on family affairs. In a big family, everyone acts according to their own ideas, which is easy to cause conflicts. Therefore, in the past, wealthy families generally had family rules, and everyone had to abide by these family rules so that the families could be harmonious.
Nowadays, in ordinary families, there is generally no particular concern, and young people advocate personality and freedom and will not take the family rules seriously. When dealing with family relationships, some families are prone to conflicts, resulting in family discord.
No matter how the times change, respecting the elderly and loving the young is our fine tradition and should be carried forward. Everyone starts with children and then slowly moves towards old age. This is the law of life. Only by loving children, being filial to the elderly, and passing on love and help between people, life will be better!
02
son and daughter-in-law work outside the country, and the mother-in-law helps her daughter take care of her second child in her hometown. When the daughter-in-law learned that the 2,000 yuan she sent to her mother-in-law every month, she was so angry that she didn't give her money to her mother-in-law.
This happened at Gao Hong's house. The mother-in-law didn't help her son's house take care of the children, but helped her daughter's house take care of the second child. Gao Hong was dissatisfied. Let's listen to their family's story.
Self-reporter: Gao Hong
Age: 38 years old
Occupation: Freelancer
City: Heihe
03
After my husband and I got married, in order to make more money, we went to work in other places. Later, we bought a house with a loan from another place and settled in another place. My parents-in-law have always lived in my hometown. After I gave birth to the child, I wanted my mother-in-law to take care of the child.
But after my husband brought my mother-in-law, my mother-in-law only took care of me for one month. After I was out of confinement, my mother-in-law went back to her hometown because she couldn't get used to living in an apartment in the city and felt that living in such a house was breathless. My mother-in-law didn’t help us take care of the children, so I had no choice but to quit my job and be a full-time mother at home.
It was not until after my child went to school that I found an hourly job, and then I took care of the child while working. It’s so hard to raise a child, so I don’t want to have a second child anymore, so when my mother-in-law advised me to have a second child, I said: Who will help us take care of it? My mother-in-law stopped talking.
My parents-in-law have always lived in their hometown. When my son was in senior class, my father-in-law suddenly fell ill and died. My husband and I went back to handle the funeral. After the funeral, my husband wanted to take my mother-in-law to our house to live, but she was afraid that she would have something to do when she lives alone in her hometown, but my mother-in-law refused.
My husband also has a sister, that is, my sister-in-law. My sister-in-law’s in-laws’ home is quite close to her parents’ home. If my mother-in-law says that if she has something to do, my sister-in-law will come to take care of her and let us rest assured. My husband didn't force my mother-in-law to go to our house, but since then, we sent money to my mother-in-law every month.
04
In fact, we are not rich at hand, but my husband said that we are in another place and can’t take care of our mother-in-law in normal times, so just make some money! My husband handed me his salary every month, so I transferred money to my mother-in-law every month and transferred it to her bank card. First, it was 1,000 yuan per month, then 1,500 yuan, and then 2,000 yuan.
We want our mother-in-law to be more affordable and live a comfortable life, but her mother-in-law gave all the money to her sister-in-law's house. After my sister-in-law gave birth to her second child, she threw the second child to my mother-in-law and took it, but she didn't give her a penny. My mother-in-law posted all the money we called her on her granddaughter.
We didn’t know these things at the beginning. Several times when we went back to see our mother-in-law, we found that our mother-in-law was eating very poorly, without any meat dishes, and they were all vegetables grown by ourselves. She didn't buy new clothes either. She bought all the clothes she wore many years ago, and the quilts on the bed were already very old.
My husband and I told my mother-in-law not to be too frugal. If the money we call her is not enough, we will add some to her. My mother-in-law immediately said enough and told us not to add more money. She was used to saving money, so she couldn't bear to spend money.
My husband and I believe it is true, because my mother-in-law has always been very saving.We told our mother-in-law again, don’t be too frugal, eat what should be eaten, and spend what should be spent. She is healthy and free of illness or disaster, and is helping us.
05
Later, when my husband and I went home again, I accidentally heard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law quarreling in the kitchen. The mother-in-law said that her nephew was getting married and she wanted to send red envelopes and asked her sister-in-law to give her 200 yuan. But my sister-in-law was unwilling and asked her mother-in-law to ask us for it. She said that we had transferred her money every month and she could not ask for it anymore.
My sister-in-law said that she didn't care about giving red envelopes anyway, so my mother-in-law said angrily: "I helped you take care of your second child. I have been taking care of you for 3 years. I have never given me a penny. I have posted all the money your brother and sister-in-law gave me on your daughter. Now I ask you for 200 yuan, but you won't give it..."
Hearing this, I realized that the money we gave to my mother-in-law was posted to my daughter's house. No wonder she was so saving herself. I told my husband about this, and my husband was also very angry. Later, her husband gave her mother-in-law 200 yuan, but she was not allowed to help her sister-in-law take care of her second child.
At that time, my mother-in-law agreed, but the next time we went back, we found that my mother-in-law was still helping her sister-in-law take care of her second child, and she still put all the money on this second child. My husband quarreled with my mother-in-law, and my mother-in-law said that she could not help her daughter take care of her second child, otherwise her daughter would not care about her if she had something to do.
06
My sister-in-law happened to come back to her parents' home. When she saw my husband and mother-in-law quarreling, she immediately called us husband and wife meddling for me. My sister-in-law said that the mother-in-law is willing to help someone take care of the child, which is her freedom and we don’t care. We can spend whatever money we give to our mother-in-law, and we can't interfere.
After hearing this, my husband became even more angry, so my husband questioned my sister-in-law, "If my mother-in-law is tired, who will be responsible?" My sister-in-law said that of course my son and daughter-in-law were responsible. My daughter was married, and the water splashed by the married daughter was not obliged to support her parents in their old age and see off.
After a quarrel that day, my husband and I went back to our home, and my mother-in-law still helped my sister-in-law take care of her second child. I was very angry when my mother-in-law thought that she was unwilling to help us take care of the children, but now she insisted on helping her sister-in-law take care of her second child, and even gave all the money we gave her to her sister-in-law's family.
Later, I stopped sending money to my mother-in-law, and my husband had no objection. My husband told my mother-in-law that if she lives in our house, we will be responsible for all her expenses; if she wants to stay in her hometown, then don’t help her sister-in-law take care of her children. But if my mother-in-law doesn't listen, I won't send her money.
Conclusion:
Modern law stipulates that Men and women are equal . Sons and daughters have the right to inherit their parents' property and have the obligation to support their parents. But in real life, many families do it according to the old tradition, that is, their son stays at home to pass on the family line and inherits their parents' property; their daughter takes the dowry and marrys to other people's houses.
If you follow the old tradition, your son will support your parents in old age and see off. The daughter does not need to support your parents in old age and see off, because the daughter is already from someone else’s family. Gao Hong's in-laws' family was run according to the old tradition, so her sister-in-law thought she had married and was not responsible for raising her parents for her old age and seeing them off.
But according to the old tradition, the daughter’s children should not be taken care of by her grandmother, but by her grandmother. Gao Hong's sister-in-law wanted her mother to take her second child, but she did not want to support her mother in her old age and see her off. This is an extremely selfish behavior.
In fact, whether it is modern law or old traditions, rights and obligations are stipulated. If a person cannot enjoy both the old traditions and the rights stipulated by modern laws, but fails to fulfill his obligations, no one can take all the benefits.
Modern people should do it according to modern laws. Parents treat every child equally. Every child must support their parents, and the son and daughter are the same.
Author: A creator in the emotional field, focusing on various issues in the emotional field, welcome to follow. Life is warmth because of love and love. Let us grow in love and spend every day in true love.
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