In the previous article, I talked about a mother I knew who jumped off a building and committed suicide last week.
There was a short comment that I was impressed by: This mother jumped off the building because of her years of hard work! At first glance, the words look cold and weak, and the second one is to the point.
Our efforts are a achievement for children without seeking rewards. Really?
In our traditional Chinese society, parents inertially regard their children as the most important factor in their lives and devote all their cultivation to enable them to achieve themselves. But in the current environment of the crazy study admission system, what is the real definition of the so-called "achievement" of ? is likely to be just a good school and good job in the eyes of the general public.
Really, we parents do not seek rewards to achieve success for children. But the definition of "achievement" is mostly universal!
Leo King at the 2019 Golden Melody Awards Ceremony
The boy in the picture is Leo King, a male rapper in Taiwan, China, the lead singer of the "Huge Roar" band and a member of the rap group "Night Cat Group". He studied at National Taiwan University, the number one institution in Taiwan, but because of his interest in music, he took action with his mother and then played, and quietly went through the withdrawal procedures. In 2019, he won the Best Mandarin Male Singer Award at the 30th China Taiwan Golden Melody Awards for his album "Murdering without Disease" and became the first hip-hop rapper in the history of the Golden Melody Awards to win this award.
He and his mother are a story of his mother trying her best and his son fights tactical counterattack.
When he was a child, Leo Wang's mother found that he was seriously unable to sit still, had difficulty concentrating, and had difficulty in learning. She had also asked him to take ADHD medicine. From junior high school to university, my mother spent all her private time assisting him in studying, controlling her time and energy in tutoring and solving problems. For many years, my mother gritted her teeth and never slacked off. In the end, Leo Wang tried hard to get into Kaohsiung Normal University High School, and then passed the exam to the Department of Social Sciences of National Taiwan University.
"Have the college entrance examination in , I don't know what to pursue, but suddenly my spirits fell apart." He thought to know his mother's reaction, so he simply secretly completed the procedures for dropping out so that he could do his best to develop his singing career. The mother thought that years of hard work had finally made her "achieve" her son, but she didn't expect that her son would give up her degree like throwing garbage, which is not a pity. At the award ceremony at the
2019 Golden Melody Awards, Leo Wang shouted to his mother with great enthusiasm: "Mom, don't extort me emotionally! Mom, I love you, but I don't necessarily listen to you, don't confuse me."
In a later interview, he talked about the blows and harms caused to his mother by dropping out of school. My mother could not understand and did not want to forgive him at that time because she believed that the duty of a student was to "study". He let down the whole family and was an unfilial child. He said: "'s greatest thanks in this life are mothers, and the biggest shadow is also mothers... During the process of growing up, there is really a lot of pain between parents and children. The good part and the bad part, as long as it comes from mothers, you can't get rid of it in your whole life." . The ending of this true story is as beautiful as a fairy tale! The king of Leo succeeded, became famous in one fell swoop, and the young man succeeded, and the mother and son reconciled. On the contrary, what if it fails in a mess? Will he regret not listening to his mother and not doing a good job in risk management in life?
The most efficient way to resolve grudges is that the last child who insists on doing things succeeded, but it actually succeeded. Perhaps, in the end, his mother had no choice but to accept the choice of the child, at the cost of unconditional intimacy and trust between the mother and son. That was the two sides of his mind, thanks and shadows. In his award declaration, can you hear that my mother’s final acceptance and understanding are not unconcerned?
And what about the mother who withered like fallen leaves? The same heart and soul, the same effort to assist the children who are struggling to learn, the same disappointment but different endings. And if, from the perspective of the singer's mother, if the child gives up his degree and accomplishes nothing, will he feel that he has been deeply grateful? He is worried about this for the rest of his life, and he is fortunate to feed the dog!
Don't forget the original intention
Recall, parents and children have a fight, food, clothing, housing and transportation, books and teaching, picking up and dropping off, so it is so complicated. We thought we could do something different, at least compared to our generation of parents.
We are working with the times in parenting knowledge; we are generally open-minded; we can listen to the teachings of various educational experts, and we are also concerned about the extreme parents' practices in the news. Parents actively discuss, express their opinions, and remind each other.
If time goes back, we can even clearly recall the situation when we took the soft and fragrant little body from the nurse. Our minds are blank and our hearts are ecstatic. We come from the heart: " only wish that children grow up safely and healthily and have a happy life. ."
One thought paradise
In the flash, the child can see the naked eye and is already in line with his eyebrows. He began to grow up, youthful and tenacious. Perhaps one day, he began to dislike going to school, dislike a certain subject, dislike your regulations, your requirements, listen to your concerns, telling you anything he has, and even dislike seeing you. The bottom line definition of the word "Like" is that he is willing to get along with each other, but he doesn't. He is thinking about escaping from his family and running away from you.
He was so strong during his adolescence. He closed his ears and could no longer listen to any elder teachers or your advice. You quarrel with him, crying, but you can't win a child in the end. Time and energy are all on his bargaining chips. He is in the east, and he is full of energy. He resists hard. His Vajra is angry and his words are heartbroken.
And I can't say anything more than books, psychologists, and educators can trick you into continuing your efforts and torture and sacrifice yourself. I suddenly remembered that since I am you, I may be you. It turns out that I am the one who struggled and was heartless and heart-wrenching when she was alive. I woke up and ran towards her frantically. I was about to take off the last straw that overwhelmed you before the lightning and thunder. By the window, the strong wind has blown, and yellow leaves are flying in the air. Your body is about to fall. I waved my hand desperately and shouted: Let go!
Let go, it’s not about despair, it’s not about you giving up on your children, it’s about you looking into the sky and pausing your tears.
That mother, look, I don’t even know your name. Have the tears stopped? After stopping, you lower your head, find your original intention, and temporarily forget the hideous appearance in front of him. Look, you are also broken, so why not pick it up and complete yourself!
It was too late. I saw her hair flying in the air, and the earth shook violently, and the sound of the dullness was rumbling. Silly mom, you can't forget your children after all, and you can't pick up your original intention. You remember you are your mother, you just forgot that you are yourself. Silly mom, you are so stupid. Only your own happiness belongs to you in the world!
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