Your child is not your child
1.
Hegang boy "Zhong Meimei" became popular overnight on the Internet. After reading all his videos, the aunt laughed throughout the process. This child is really interesting.
The imitation of the little drama artist was arranged and recorded by Zhong Meimei herself. At a young age, she can have such clear logical thinking and expression skills. In addition to her talent, she must have practices again and again behind her.
However, not long after, Zhong Meimei's video of imitating the teacher was removed from the shelves. On June 3, he uploaded a new video of imitating volunteers, which was particularly positive, but the degree of fun and fun decreased a lot.
According to the Beijing News, the local education bureau admitted that the school had contact with Zhong Meimei and hoped to guide the children from a positive perspective and shoot some positive works. The guidance method of
is quite interesting. Children's imitation is also a kind of performance and creation. If you force him to move him towards positive energy, maybe this child who combines talent and cuteness will become boring and mediocre from now on.
2.
Recently watched a TV series "Your Child Not Your Child". All the parents in it are paranoid control freaks, and they firmly believe that their educational views are absolutely correct and that their children do not allow any ideas or struggles.
read the original work of this drama with clues. The author's delicate and simple words made me feel more immersive. The pain and sorrow that every child controlled by his parents endured may be what you and I have experienced before.
Jasmine is a very outstanding girl. Their family is the focus of attention in the village. Her father inherited his ancestral property, made a great career, had a status and status, and her mother was a young lady from Taipei. Such a combination and family background generally cares about appearance and face.
When Jasmine was five or six years old, her mother said that she must take the North No. 1 Girls’ High School in Taipei when she grew up.
In order to achieve this goal, when Xiao Moli was in junior high school, her mother set her score standard of 90 points, and she scored one less.
Once, Jasmine failed in math and gave the test papers. She was so scared that she became weak. When she returned home, her mother saw the transcript, picked up the rattan stick next to the TV cabinet and beat her hard.
But her brother only scored 58 points once, and her mother just touched her brother's head and encouraged him to continue working hard next time.
She asked her mother why her standards are different from her brother. Her mother replied: "In this world, girls' performance is 90 points and boys' performance is similar to those of boys' performance. In the eyes of outsiders, even if you get 90 points, just keep it in your heart. Don't be too proud in front of men. Once you are too tough and overwhelm a man's edge, life will be very sad."
Her mother's implication is that women should put men first in everything, and even if they are excellent, they cannot be too independent, otherwise men will not like it.
Jasmine is very successful and is admitted to the Beijing No. 1 girl. After three years, she was admitted to the best university in Taiwan. After enrolling, her grades were always outstanding. She was favored by Professor Zhang in her senior year and joined his scientific research project.Jasmine is the youngest face in the laboratory.
Later, she was admitted to the institute. Because of her fast reaction and strong learning ability, she became Professor Zhang's left and right arm. The professor appreciated her very much and suggested that she go to the United States to study for a doctorate and was willing to write a recommendation letter for her.
So what? Molly still couldn't escape the clutches of her mother's desire to control her.
When she told her mother that she had the idea of going to the United States to study for a doctorate, her mother strongly opposed it, and her theory came out again: "You are 24 years old now, and you will study again. When you get a doctor, you are almost thirty years old. Who wants to marry a thirty-year-old female doctorate?"
My mother arranged for her to marry a doctor. This doctor graduated from a prestigious school and has a social status, but her appearance is average and her personality is dull and boring. Jasmine doesn't like to resist.
Her mother also listed the benefits of marrying the doctor: Lily, who is eight years old, is simple and silent, does not bother with her, has no worries about her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, and is also very profitable.
Jasmine's life, every step of it is planned by her mother. Although life is her own, the experience of life seems to be her mother's.
Jasmine was under pressure from her mother and married the doctor. She was asked by her husband to be a housewife. After giving birth, she was in a daze. She was used to hiding in the toilet late at night to cry. She bit her hand to suppress the crying. When she cried until she was dizzy, she remembered how beautiful her work in the laboratory was. There was a stable logic and order in that space, where she could find a sense of belonging.
But the current life made her very frustrated and confused, and she could not summarize another logic and order. In the roles of daughter, daughter-in-law, and mother, she doesn't know who she is.
Jasmine's life is quite enviable from a secular perspective. It has a good academic aura and a decent husband who is married.
But only I know the pain. She lost herself and lived a walking corpse, she shed more tears than smiles. Her life is what her parents want, but not hers.
3.
There is also a story about a pair of sisters in the book, and their mothers are equally terrible.
My sister is a talented student. She was admitted to the first-choice high school at the age of fifteen. Her grades are often the top three in the school. She studied in the most popular department of Taiwan University. Many well-known universities have invited graduate students. But her sister is a poor student and has a very messy grades.
Their mother is also a top student, but after getting married, she almost gave up her career and transferred all her energy and time to her and her sister.
Because my mother suffered from math losses during the college entrance examination, she paid great attention to cultivating her math ability when she was cultivating her eldest daughter. When her eldest daughter was still very young, she tried to teach her simple principles of addition and subtraction. When she was studying in kindergarten, she could make more operational of addition and subtraction of three or four digits. But the mother was not satisfied and quickly increased the difficulty. She bought a lot of math exercises from the bookstore. However, the child was only five or six years old at that time, and felt difficult for these operations, and the error rate was getting higher and higher.
Children are afraid of looking at their mother's moody face.
The level of the eldest daughter doing math problems directly affects her mother's mood. If the error rate is high, the mother will be lost and depressed. If the error rate is low, the mother will smile and give her praise.
The sister later said that her mother's polarized reaction made her a very competitive and highly interested in gains and losses. In order to get along with her moody mother, she also became very sensitive and good at observing her expressions.
My mother has been brainwashing her. In all subjects, only mathematics and English are important, and nothing else is important. As long as you master these two subjects well, you will be invincible in Taiwan's education system.
She actually wanted to learn Chinese well, but her mother disdained her hard work in Chinese and felt that it was useless. She rarely resisted her mother's approach. Only by obedience can her mother not nag. She also became a top student step by step according to her mother's methods, achieving good achievements, and everyone praised her mother's success in education.
So the mother did the same in the education of her sister.
But my sister is very different from her sister in terms of appearance and talent. Her sister can squat at the desk all afternoon just to solve a math problem, but her sister is easily attracted by external things. If you do math problems for her, she will give you a picture.
My sister is good at logic, but my sister is good at abstract beauty.
My mother did not teach her students according to her aptitude and still trained her sister's mathematics in a high-pressure manner, hoping that she would become a top student.
No matter how much my mother forced me, my sister just didn't want to do math homework. She was often beaten at home and couldn't find warmth at home. She liked to make friends outside more and more. She spent her time dressing up and her grades plummeted.
In fact, not every child is suitable to become a top student. Many parents like to package the good and bad things of their children into a ball, ignore the personal characteristics, and forget to take into account the environment they are in. The same educational method as
may create a successful model in the eyes of the world, or destroy a child's talent. The definition of successful
4.
should not be so narrow.
Children are a blank piece of paper. The adult standard is the deprivation of the colors on children, making them become boring adults in advance.
Oscar short film "Alike" tells the same problem. In the story, the son admires the person who plays the violin on the way to school and wants to stop and appreciate it, but the father said, "School is the place you should go. This person who pursues dreams is just an alien abandoned by society." He drew the violinist he met on the road on paper, but the teacher pointed at the ABCD on paper and said, "This is what you should learn."
children are domesticated day after day by day by parents and schools, and the huge potential contained in them is gradually ruthlessly eroded by adults.
Looking back, the intervention in Zhong Meimei is undoubtedly a killing of creativity.
At the end of "Alike", the father realized the child's loss and depression and began to reflect on himself.
Later, he no longer cared about other people's eyes and took him to see things he was interested in. The colors in the child's heart were protected, and both of them were very happy.
This is a warm ending, but real life can be much more cruel.
There is only one childhood, and if you lose it, you will be gone. I hope everyone can reflect, because your child is not your child, and you have also had your own wishes in your childhood.
The above pictures are from the Internet
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