text/Qushui Liushang is not intoxicating
01
When browsing the news yesterday, I saw an article about the outdated Taiwanese actress Wang Xinling .
She was exposed by Taiwanese media that she was suspected of reuniting with her ex-boyfriend Lan Weiwen. The two behaved intimately and returned to the woman's home together. Lan Weiwen is the boyfriend Wang Xinling had dated in 2017. She is a newcomer in the technology industry, but she often appears in entertainment magazines. After he and Wang Xinling fell in love for a short time, they broke up because they were blocked by their parents.
The Taiwanese media's sarcasm is no less than that in Hong Kong, saying that Wang Xinling is getting further and further on the road to finding a scumbag.
Seeing the information, I can’t figure out what ordinary people are worried about in the marriage and love market and need to sacrifice a lot of things to get a so-called stability. Then why are female celebrities with money, beauty and resources not confident?
In recent years, Wang Xinling has not had much exposure and has no excellent works. Her popularity is still being revealed by her two ex-boyfriends, Fan Zhiwei and Yao Yuanhao, , after breaking up, she was once trapped in the whirlpool of mistresses and private photos.
Wang Xinling is even called a scumbag.
Fan Zhiwei had raped her twice during her date and cheated twice. After the two broke up, Fan Zhiwei also talked to Wang Xinling's first boyfriend in the media about her first time, and it also implied that she had a slutty private life, constantly consuming her popularity and fame, which made her image plummet.
Yao Yuanhao and Wang Xinling are even more complicated. This relationship even made her bear the infamy of a mistress.
When the two dated, Yao Yuanhao was in the process of breaking up with his ex-girlfriend Sui and Tang dynasties. Not only did he ride a donkey and look for a horse, but his old love was rekindled. Yao Yuanhao and Sui and Tang dynasties broke up and finally reconciled. Wang Xinling, as the passive withdrawal party, was accused by Sui and Tang dynasties of being a mistress and destroying other people's feelings.
When Wang Xinling was criticized and abused, Yao Yuanhao kept silent and said no fairness from beginning to end. Although Wang Xinling repeatedly stated that she was together during their breakup and had quit after knowing that they had reconciled, the reputation of the mistress and the private photos that Yao Yuanhao later "accidentally" exposed her image still made her image fall to the bottom.
In comparison, Lan Weiwen's character is much better than Wang Xinling's first three boyfriends, but he was also exposed by the media that he broke up with his ex-girlfriend because he was caught cheating. At that time, he had even taken wedding photos with his ex-girlfriend. In 2017, it was also because of Wang Xinling's identity as a media person that he and his parents were afraid that their family and company's business situation would become transparent because of their relationship with Wang Xinling.
All previous boyfriends are scumbags. Is Wang Xinling really a scumbag?
02
I don’t believe that anyone will be born to attract scumbags, but the love pattern is a reappearance of childhood relationships to a certain extent.
Wang Xinling grew up in a single-parent family. Her parents divorced very early. It was her mother who brought her and her younger brother to live hard. Since the divorce of parents, the father has only existed in legends. It was not until Wang Xinling grew up and became famous that his father emerged and promoted him everywhere that he was Wang Xinling's father's identity and gained fame for his business.
Wang Xinling's mother needs to take care of young children while working, and she is under great pressure. Soon she suffers from depression and is in a state of unstable mood. The older Wang Xinling naturally becomes her mother's punching bag.
I found that almost all girls who encounter scumbags have huge emotional deficiencies in their early life experiences. It is said that a romantic relationship is the closest parent-child relationship among all relationships, and it can allow a person to re-experience the feeling of intimacy, dependence and need in childhood.
If you can deeply reflect on this emotional pattern, it is the beginning of healing.
I once saw a case of psychotherapy. A girl asked the psychologist: Why do I always meet scumbags?
The girl is very beautiful and talented. She has studied abroad and became an important figure in the local design industry in her twenties. Everything is beautiful, except for her emotional experience. She has dated a total of 3 boyfriends, and the girls have all the expenses during the date, and even provides housing and luxury goods.
Reasonablely, girls should be happy with such conditions, but all three boyfriends abused her domestically many times.
She couldn't figure out the reason.
As the consultation deepened, the girl talked about her original family. Her father and grandfather were in high positions and could often be seen on TV. But her family is cold all year round. My father was at home, except for eating, and stayed in the study. In order not to disturb her, his mother forbidden her to make any sound. In her impression, that home was an ice cellar, and it was cold everywhere. She was like a transparent person, and was ignored by her parents at the same time.
She can't even remember when she talked to her father last time, ten years ago or even longer?
is outside, because of her father's special identity, as long as she has a dispute with others, her mother will definitely take the responsibility on her and will never consider the reason. My mother also told the school many times that she must be strictly disciplined. In this way, the girl developed a cowardly personality, dared not argue with others, dared not enjoy brand-name clothes and luxury goods, and all her generosity was placed on her boyfriend.
Looking at the girl’s eyes, the psychologist gave the answer: Maybe, no matter how bad the person who beats and scolds you is, it is better than no one cares about your indifference? The other party beats you and scolds you, which may make you feel that you have a relationship with another person and intimate links, even if this link appears in a way that hurts you.
The girl burst into tears after listening to it.
03
Do you know that scumbags can also be raised in the marriage and love market.
I always believe that a person’s deep lack cannot be concealed, and it will be reflected in his behavior and even his values. When a person's lack of confidence, weakness and inferiority are clearly visible to the other party, the other party will not take you seriously at all. He will only use your cowardice and lack of opinion to call you around, or even beat and scold you.
When you express your fear and lack on your face, the people around you will only constantly compress your bottom line. The same is true for
Friendship.
Let’s talk about Wang Xinling again.
When the private photos taken by Yao Yuanhao were first exposed, her agency and agent were very angry and wanted to use legal weapons to protect her rights. It was Wang Xinling who retreated and gave up the right to pursue the matter. When it was exposed again, Yao Yuanhao only issued a statement through the agency saying that he had never hurt Wang Xinling, and it ended, and there was no apology. Such a big storm of private photos of
has ended in the end.
says that others' attitude towards you is what you allow. This sentence applies to Wang Xinling and Yao Yuanhao. If she can firmly defend her rights during the first private photo being leaked, she will speak up resolutely when Fan Zhiwei and her first boyfriend talk about her first time, at least Fan Zhiwei and Yao Yuanhao will apologize and be cautious.
In recent years, self-media has become popular. Many feminist writers advocate that women should be economically independent. Only when they are economically independent can they be independent. However, female stars like Wang Xinling may have been independent financially long ago. Why are they still trapped in the vicious circle of scumbags?
In addition to the factors of mental compensation, I think there are also conceptual reasons.
Then talk about the above consultation case. The psychologist asked the girl: Why do you allow him to hit you?
The girl replied: Because I love him.
The psychologist asked her: You were also afraid of losing and were tolerant of it. Have they stayed by your side?
The girl said in a daze: Then what should I do? I can’t call back, right?
The psychiatrist said: Yes, that's it. On the premise of ensuring safety, beat him hard and kick him out.
The girl has no words for a long time.
At the end of the consultation, she said to the psychologist: I think you are right. They hit me, scold me, spent my money, and kept stepping on my bottom line to attack me. I think I allowed it. Because I was afraid that they would leave me, I dare not make any requests, and could only constantly satisfy their desires.Since I was a child, no one has taught me how to say "no". Now that I am growing up, I think I have the strength to say "no" with the capital.
I hope this former sweetheart leader will get better and better.
END
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