Su Yongkang sang in "It's so hard to love someone":
"It's really hard to forget you. The pain of longing is entangled in my heart, and the expectation day and night has never answered."
Every section of the relationship begins with happiness and joy, and there is also the arrival of a storm. We thought this was just an episode on the road of emotion, but we didn't expect that we had reached the end of the relationship between two people. We were very unwilling to let go.
To be honest, it is definitely not easy to really let go of someone after being together for so long.
Every time I think back on every little thing I get along with, I always make people think a lot. The sweetness and happiness of the past are like yesterday, and I still remember it fresh. But now, the two of them part ways, and their own worlds, and their hearts are as if they were taken away. Anger, hesitation, sadness, and at a loss come one after another, making it difficult for them to choose.
As the saying goes, "It is easy to pick up, but it is difficult to let go."
The biggest difficulty comes from the inner entanglement and hesitation, because you are as clear as a mirror and cannot renew your previous relationship, but you cannot control yourself from looking back on someone and a relationship, and you can only let yourself be left with a sigh in the distance.
We always think that by relying on deletion, blocking and disconnecting, we can completely let go of a person, or truly walk out of the pain of the past. In fact, not only does it fail to work, but it makes ourselves cry when we are alone or in the dead of night...
In fact, if you really want to forget someone, you cannot just rely on your emotions to go with the flow, but you should pay attention to the correct way of handling it.
To be precise, when we want to let go of someone, we cannot achieve it overnight or achieve immediate results, but should proceed step by step and let ourselves learn to say goodbye to the past little by little.
Only in this way can we truly reconcile with our past selves, not make things difficult for ourselves, live the present well, and start our new and happy life.
Want to let go of someone, it is not about deleting and disconnecting. Choosing these 3 methods is called cleverness.
1 Let go of your anger and accept the reality
In fact, no matter what the reason is when two people separate, they will make each other feel huge anger, especially if the abandoned party thinks they are the victims, they will vent all their anger on the other party.
The most common ones you hear are like "Why do you betray our feelings?", "You ruined my life and eventually abandoned me." No matter which way you vent, you will think that you have lost everything because of this relationship, and it was the other party who ruined everything you have.
A friend told his own story.
She has been divorced for three years, but whenever she mentions her ex-husband, she still grits her teeth with hatred. She felt that he had abandoned himself and made him lose his wonderful life.
so, her life became more and more sloppy, and even caused her divorce to have no job, and her whole mental state was also decadent.
Psychologically, her behavior is actually to make her live a bad life and punish her ex-husband, hoping that her ex-husband can feel guilty or repent.
But unexpectedly, this anger eventually fell on me, and my ex-husband had already had his own new life.
In fact, the anger that cannot be let go is the last defense against one's grievance and sadness. I thought that having such a posture would make the other party willing to admit defeat, and in the end I often became a loser and lost my life's happiness.
At this time, the most important thing we should do is to let go of our anger and accept reality.
The trees have been completed and the rice has become a cook. No matter how angry we are, we can no longer change the facts. We must accept reality to treat ourselves the best kindness.
You must be clear about one thing: no matter how angry you are, that person once had nothing to do with you. Making yourself angry not only cannot solve the problem, but will also make yourself get deeper and deeper.
just pass by, that person has gone away, accepting reality is the best answer.
2 Don’t continue to fall into sadness, divert your attention
When we think that our former close lover has become a irrelevant person and the sweetness of the past is gone forever, the mixed feelings in our hearts will surge up, and even tears will burst out.
Faced with pain, you can have sadness, but don’t keep sadness. This will only make us fall into sadness and become depressed, and ruin our whole life because of something wrong with others.
The most correct way we are to accept this sad reality and divert our attention.
Because when you focus all your energy on the sadness of the past, it will only infinitely amplify the pain of sadness. It is better to use the way of diverting attention to temporarily withdraw our pain little by little, so that we can adapt to the days without each other little by little.
You can find your own interests and hobbies, or regain some fun in the past, or find time to go to the dream place to see your own insignificance outside the world, so that you can know that this is just an episode of life and is not worth mentioning.
You can also make yourself better through reading, charging and other methods, so that you can find out what the meaning of is , instead of just being trapped in lost feelings and being unable to extricate yourself.
No one will always accompany you. Only by paying more attention to yourself with a positive attitude can you truly let yourself get out of that haze and truly see the bright sunshine.
3 It’s yours that others can’t take away, it’s not yours that you can’t keep
In fact, our reluctance to give up on a relationship often comes from being unable to let go of our own dedication.
Especially for many years, I have devoted everything from my heart to my life, treating the other party as my lifelong companion, but I didn’t expect that I would part ways halfway, how reluctant and unwilling to...
In fact, the more we are so entangled, the more we will infinitely amplify the pain in our hearts and make it impossible for us to let go of everything we have lost.
We need to be clear about one thing: yours is yours, not yours, you cannot force it.
Since two people have no lifelong fate, no matter how hard you beg, it will be futile. For those who do not want to cherish them, letting go as soon as possible is the best way to fulfill yourself.
Perhaps these people appear just to remind you what is right and what is wrong. You just need to identify it clearly and find the correct feelings of your own.
Since it is irreversible, don’t redeem your wrong feelings. It’s better not to blame yourself anymore. Let yourself let go of yourself.
When we understand this truth from a wrong relationship, it means that we have found the true meaning of the relationship and this trip is worthwhile.
Faced with the wrong feelings, if you choose to let go and move forward bravely, then you will become a better person; on the contrary, if you keep thinking about the pain of the past, you will really make yourself defeated.
I hope you will become more and more brave from losers and become more and more outstanding from setbacks. Only in this way can we meet the best selves and the most suitable lifelong love.
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