The topic #Young People Lie Adult Lies # became a hot search on Weibo, and with just one picture, it touched the hearts of countless people:
Young people lie to their parents in order to sneak out, and adults lie to their friends in order to stay at home.
After thinking about it carefully, it is really like this.
I used to want to go outdoors when I was on vacation, but now I want to go home whenever I have free time.
I used to take the opportunity to eat out, but now I think my mother’s home-cooked food is the most delicious.
used to like to talk with friends, but now likes to chat with parents.
Probably because he grew up, he understood the importance of family.
I resigned from the system three years ago. I originally found a new job, but before I started the job, HR changed its mind and cut off many benefits. I got angry and turned down the offer, and I went from seamlessly connected to completely unemployed.
While I was eating, I was immersed in browsing the recruitment website. I looked up and asked my dad: What should I do if I can't find a job in this life?
My dad smiled and said: What can I do, I will support you.
Some people say "I will support you" is the most poisonous love word in the world, but when it comes from a father's mouth, it is completely different.
This is the most reliable backer in the world.
However, I also want to raise my father, and I also want him to live a life as carefree and happy as when I was a child.
So many times, our relationship has to be maintained by "lying".
When I was a child, I lied to my father: I was not feeling well and wanted to take leave and not go to class. When
grew up, he lied to his mother: I am fine, my body is fine, you can rest first, I will go to bed after I finish the work at hand.
When I was a child, I asked my parents for money to buy something, and they quoted double the price. When I grew up, I spent money to buy things for my parents, and they only quoted half the price.
When I was a child, I lied to my parents about asking for extra pocket money. When I grew up, in order not to worry my parents, I always lied to them that I was rich.
How can the things of scholars be called stealing? How can it be called lying when an adult speaks?
When I was in college, once in a QQ group, an older friend said that a netizen she knew well once asked her to borrow a few hundred yuan, and she borrowed it without saying a word. Later, the person paid back the money. He also sent her a souvenir from his hometown.
I said: You are so brave. When most people have difficulties, they first look for their family members, then their friends, and when things get tough, they turn to netizens who are some distance away. I would definitely not lend money to such a person if he came to me. Has he emptied the wealth of his relatives and friends, or has he emptied the trust of his relatives and friends?
My friend said to me meaningfully: You are still young and don’t know yet. You have many difficulties and you don’t want to talk to your family.
Later, when I grew up, I finally understood this feeling.
A friend of mine left his hometown a few years ago to work hard in a big city. With a monthly salary of 2,000 yuan and a rent of 1,000 yuan, he would rather eat instant noodles for half a month than ask for money from his family.
Another friend, he failed to start a business a while ago and owed hundreds of thousands. He took a credit card + various loans + salary, and spent a long time to pay it back slowly. He was so anxious that he couldn't sleep every day, and kept talking. He hugged his head and cried while we were drinking together. When he got a call from home, he immediately changed to a nonchalant tone: I am playing outside, I am doing well recently, don’t worry.
I was homeless for a while, unemployed, and rented a shabby house for 400 a month. The bed was next to the toilet, and the toilet kept getting clogged. I poked the toilet for half an hour, but nothing happened. I moved a stool and sat down. Take a break and try again.
Once I complained in a circle of friends about the problem of the water heater being hot and cold. My mother commented: Find a real estate agent quickly! I was so scared that I quickly deleted my friend circle
- there is no real estate. I live in a rural area more than fifty bus stops away from the city. The ground floor is dusty, dogs barking everywhere and the big iron gate behind me clangs. Rangdixiang
- I never let my mother know this, and I dare not let her know. I earn a meager royalties, and I don’t even dare to order noodles with meat.
I am afraid that because we are far apart, my pain will be infinitely magnified when it reaches my mother. She will feel guilty, blame herself, worry, try her best to help me but feel unable to do anything. These emotions are much worse than My hardships are even tougher.
In "My Girl", Jiao Junyan and his daughter have this conversation:
Jiao Junyan's father said: "Share happiness together, then everyone will be happy, and you will also share pain, and then you will only have half of the pain left."
Jiao Junyan said: "I don't think pain is like this. As long as you listen to pain, I will get double the pain."
Reporting good news but not bad news is the most common state in mature family relationships.
When you grow up, the most terrifying thing than lying is not even having to tell lies.
When I was in primary school, I loved eating spicy strips from the shop in front of the school.
A pack of gluten strips costs 50 cents. They are soaked in spicy oil, sprinkled with MSG and chili peel. This greasy and dirty Sanwu product tastes fresh, spicy and refreshing.
Elementary School is only five minutes away from my home. When I buy spicy noodles and eat them while walking, I often bump into my dad who is out for a walk, or my mom who comes to pick me up from school on a whim. I see them from a distance. I quickly threw the remaining spicy sticks into the trash can and chewed them clean.
How could they let me eat this kind of junk food produced by a small workshop? If I were caught, I would be scolded.
I couldn’t hide the oily smell, so my dad asked me: Are you eating spicy strips again?
"No." How dare I tell the truth and deny it to death.
He shrugged, as if he understood clearly but didn't want to push me too hard, and talked to me about food hygiene issues for the N+1 time.
knows its mistakes and will not correct them.
When I grow up, I no longer care about these cheap snacks, but it is inevitable that I will be greedy sometimes.
One time when I was shopping, I bought a pack of spicy strips and put them in my bag. Now the price of the spicy strips has increased, and they have been vacuumed. They look a bit high-end.
After I got home, my mother helped me pack my bag. After discovering the spicy strips, she asked me what they were.
I was afraid that she would scold me like she did when she was a child, "You are still eating this kind of dishonest thing even though you are such a grown-up person." I casually said, "It's just food, just leave it there."
A few days later, I discovered that my mother had put this pack of spicy strips in the refrigerator.
She thinks that everything I buy is good and important and must be kept fresh.
I secretly planned to eat it secretly one day.
Unexpectedly, the next day, my dad fried this bag of spicy strips into a dish.
He said: I don’t know what this thing of yours is. I was afraid it would be wasted if it expired, so I took it out and fried it and ate it. After that, he seriously asked my opinion and asked me if it tastes good when fried like this.
I didn’t think they were joking, and suddenly my heart felt sour that I was about to shed tears.
When they were young, they could judge arbitrarily that spicy strips were unhygienic and unhealthy, and children who ate spicy strips secretly would be beaten.
Now that I have grown up, they respect everything about me. They have to put a pack of cheap spicy strips in the refrigerator, stir-fry the tops and tails of artemisia into a dish, and they also act based on my expression, for fear of themselves. It was not done well and left me dissatisfied.
Spicy strips are still spicy strips. I am still the gluttonous me, but my parents’ mentality has changed.
They think that I have knowledge and ability, and they want to listen to my opinion on everything.
I can eat spicy strips openly now, I don’t have to lie anymore.
However, how much I miss the time when I still had to lie and be afraid of them.
At that time, they were indomitable and omnipotent.
Qi Pa said that there was a debate episode called "Should you tell your parents if you are not having a good time abroad?", debater Fu Seoul had a powerful saying:
Parents take our unhappiness much more seriously than ourselves. Sometimes, you It's over, and they can't get through it.
I agree that you need to be honest and communicate, but the most honest communication between parents and children often brings the most real sense of guilt, the guilt of not being able to help, the discomfort of being powerless, which is worse than Specific unhappiness is even harder to get over.
When we lie, we do not choose to escape, we just choose a more comfortable way to get along with each other.
The parent-child relationship is like underwear. Each pair is different and looks different. The most important thing is comfort.
However, there are also some people who seek "comfort" by lying, which is different from others. They:
lied when they were young and never ignored their parents, but turned away and continued to cling to their parents and act coquettishly;
when they grew up, they forwarded requests in their circle of friends every day. I want to be nice to my mom on Father's Day and Mother's Day, but I forgot all about it after forwarding it.
They lie just to satisfy their inner "filial piety" needs.
I hope we will not be such adults.
—END—
Yu Wushuang, a clean writer. Always compete with like-minded people and don't argue with fools. If you understand me, you will naturally pay attention to me. Personal public account: Yu Wushuang (yuwushuang99).
