These two days, May 20th and 21st, for singles, it is the time for couples to spread their opinions in the circle of friends; for couples, it is a day to express love; and for those who are currently The diligent suitor is an opportunity to show his feelings.
It is very easy for people in an intimate relationship to express their feelings and love; but there are also many "straight men" who are often at a loss in front of the person they like, are awkward in articulation, and cannot express their feelings.
Today we share a quiz game, you can invite your favorite people to play together. It is said that after answering each other's 36 questions, both parties can quickly increase their favorability and fall in love with each other!
1. Theoretical sources
These 36 questions come from American psychologist Arthur Allen.
Dr. Arthur Allen studies how to promote people's intimate relationships. He designed a series of questions for participants to ask each other to test the degree of improvement in their relationships.
These questions have the characteristics of persistence, continuous in-depthness, bidirectionality and self-personality analysis . Experiments have proven that these questions did make participants feel significantly closer to each other.
Later, someone organized a group of strangers, single men and women, to use these 36 questions to test whether two strangers could fall in love with each other quickly. The results of the
activity show that the effect is amazing.
American writer Mandy Len Catron participated in this event. Two strangers took turns asking each other 36 questions. As the questions became more and more personal, the two people looked at each other without saying a word. They stared at each other for 4 minutes-- ended with two people falling in love!
Later, she published an article "How to Fall in Love with Strangers Quickly" in the Modern Love column of the New York Times, introducing her experience in participating in the event. When the article was published, she was still with her boyfriend who she fell in love with at the event.
2. 36 questions
Let’s take a look at what Arthur Allen’s 36 questions are, and they are so amazing:
(Full screen display is better)
It takes two people about 45 minutes to complete these questions , when the question is over, stare at the other person for 4 minutes, and you will hear the other person's heartbeat!
3. Why is it so magical?
What do you think after reading these 36 questions? Does it go deep layer by layer, reaching the softness deep in your heart?
Why can these questions quickly establish an intimate relationship between two strangers?
After careful observation, we can find that there are a large number of questions that guide the expression of opinions and feelings, which are in-depth, allowing two people to expose themselves more efficiently and achieve an intimate relationship.
Hidden behind it is the classic psychological principle: Self-exposure theory.
Self-disclosure (Self-disclosure) is one of the issues that attracts much attention in the field of social psychology, especially in the field of interpersonal communication research. Self-disclosure means that a person spontaneously and consciously discloses true and important information about himself or herself to another person.
The relationship between a person and a person from stranger to intimacy begins with the establishment of "empathy". In short, it is the ability to see and understand the world from the other person's perspective. Empathy can create trust in each other. If you believe that the other person If you understand you, you can also understand the other person's voice, and you will naturally feel like a "confidant".
The prerequisite for empathy is that the other person is willing to reveal their true side to us.
Self-disclosure is a very difficult thing to accomplish. You can imagine the difference between your wording and status when you receive a sales call, and your wording and status when chatting with your best friend.
Through self-exposure, the two people reveal their inner vulnerabilities to each other, thus shortening the distance between each other.
In the words of the researcher, "The key to establishing an intimate relationship between peers is that both parties continue to share each other's inner private thoughts from shallow to deep."
Allow one person to disarm another person and It is very difficult for one's own weakness to be completely exposed in front of the other party.
Therefore, when we meet someone who makes us excited, inviting them to complete these questions together will definitely have a magical effect!
How do you feel after answering the questions? Remember to tell me in the comment area of ~
