In ancient times, when a woman from a good family was divorced, in an era where strict requirements were placed on women's moral integrity, it was indeed a great shame for the woman and her family. There are real examples of women committing suicide because their engagement was annulled, but this is not an isolated case. In this case,
cannot be copied to Liu Xianglian and You Sanjie . Because according to folk custom, Liu Xianglian and Third Sister You were not really engaged at all.
At best, Jia Lian acted as matchmaker. Liu Xianglian planned to marry Sanjie You as his wife, but this was by no means a real engagement.
In ancient times, what did real engagement look like?
In fact, this folk custom has been written down in the novel "A Dream of Red Mansions". There is a ready-made example, that is, Aunt Xue came forward to engage Xue Biao and Xing Xiuyan .
Engagement does not need to be a big deal, but it must be done under the conditions of elders, matchmaking and certification.
Aunt Xue is the elder of the man's family, and Xing Xiuyan's parents and Mrs. Xing are the elders of the woman's family.
Jia's mother can be regarded as the wedding host, Youshi 's mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are the witnesses.
Under the witness of these elders, Xue Biao and Xing Xiuyan were officially engaged according to folk customs.
According to the standards of engagement, Liu Xianglian and Sanjie You have never been engaged. Since the engagement procedures have not been completed, Sanjie You will not commit suicide just to be a chaste and martyr girl.
It’s even more impossible for love. Liu Xianglian doesn’t know Sanjie You at all.
Then why did she seek death? This answer is extremely cruel, because Third Sister You has no hope of marrying someone else decently and becoming a real wife.
Losing this kind of hope is indeed fatal for an ancient woman...
1. Sanjie You is a woman with little competitiveness in the marriage market.
Sanjie You looks smart and beautiful, but there is behind her. Supported by Youshi, the hostess of Ningguo Mansion , will such a woman be uncompetitive in the marriage market?
The reality is so cruel. Sanjie You's range of spouse selection is actually very narrow.
Third Sister You is the spoiler of the You family, and the You family is a family of officials, which means that Third Sister You cannot fall in love with a generous and kind-hearted civilian man. She must marry a man from a noble family, even if she is down and out. So can a man from an aristocratic family.
But then again, would a man from a real aristocratic family marry Third Sister You?
The answer is no.
In Kyoto, the circle of aristocrats and aristocratic families is very small. Such families would not even look down on Fu Qiufang, the younger sister of Fu Shi, and they would naturally look down upon girls like You Sanjie.
The Kyoto area is so small. If you ask around, you will know what kind of reputation Sanjie You has.
The most superficial thing is that Third Sister You got through Ningguo Mansion. And what kind of beer is Ningguofu?
Except for the two stone lions in your Dongfu, which are clean, I'm afraid even the cats and dogs are not clean.
These words were said by Liu Xianglian, and his words should not be used as arguments. But was this just what Liu Xianglian said? Readers will know if they think about it carefully, when Liu Xianglian said this, Jia Baoyu did not dare to refute, which shows that in the Kyoto circle, Ning Guofu has such a bad reputation.
Ningguo Mansion has a bad reputation, so what is the reputation of the You family? This is an issue that few readers have noticed.
If you dig deeper into the details, readers will find that the reputation of the You family is not very good.
You's father must be a real official, so that his wife can have a good title.
The question arises at this time, why did You's father remarry Mrs. You ?
Is You’s personal condition very good?
The answer is probably no. You Lao Niang’s first husband must not be an official. If You Lao Niang has a title, it means that she cannot remarry.
Mrs. You is just a commoner woman from a good family with two daughters.
Women like You Lao Niang do not have a wide range of choices in the marriage market.
Marriage in ancient times paid more attention to the matching of conditions.
A widow like You Lao Niang with two daughters can marry You's father, who is a serving official. This is enough to show that women in normal official circles will not marry You's father.
It can be seen that the reputation of the You family may be worse than readers think.
What is the family background and reputation of Third Sister You’s biological father?
The answer is probably even more cruel. If Sanjie You's family is in a good situation, her mother does not necessarily need to remarry. Even if her mother must remarry, if Sanjie You has the protection of her family, her mother cannot take her away.
It can be seen from this that Sanjie You’s own family is a mess of debts that cannot be recovered.
When Sanjie You’s background is ruined, she herself will never have a good reputation.
At this time, let’s take a look at Sanjie You’s closest relatives:
Sanjie You’s mother remarried to You’s father. In the feudal society, Sanjie You’s mother was already a morally unfaithful woman.
With a mother like You Lao Niang, her daughter is born with the stigma that it is not easy to marry.
And the marriage of Third Sister You’s biological sister Second Sister You has plunged the family into a quagmire.
Second sister You married Jia Lian, but their marriage was not an official marriage. At the beginning, Second Sister You was just a concubine for Jia Lian, not even a serious concubine.
In order to gain wealth, families from scholarly families marry their daughters to nobles as concubines. This behavior is despised by the entire scholarly family circle.
After Second Sister You got married, Third Sister You’s marriage became even more difficult, and what should Third Sister You do...
2. Third Sister You, who could not climb out of the quagmire, had no hope in life.
You I am the kind of person who can crawl in the quagmire of wealth and wealth, the kind of person who is willing to degenerate.
And what about Second Sister You?
Under the influence of a mother like You Lao Niang, Second Sister You grew up into a flower of wealth in the world.
The two sisters, Second Sister You and Third Sister You, were recognized by everyone in the Jia family as beauties with thousands of styles.
At this point, readers are advised to note that the words "style" and "beautiful woman" are extremely cruel to women. When this kind of word is attached to a woman, it means that the woman's morals and conduct are very poor;
means that this woman is infinitely close to a prostitute.
It was in such a family that Sanjie You grew up like a lotus flower that grew out of the mud but remained unstained.
Sanjie You was not dazzled by the wealth of the Jia family, and she was never willing to be a man's plaything or beauty. She had her pride and her choice. She wanted to marry a man normally and be his wife.
After that, I would grow old together with that man and live a decent and normal life...
I thought about such a life. It was very simple for ordinary girls, but it was extremely difficult for Third Sister You.
Why?
Because the sisters You Erjie and You Sanjie have a mother, You Lao Niang, who is greedy for money and greedy for profit.
For the sake of money and wealth, I would definitely risk my own daughters and let them serve the powerful in exchange for money.
Deep down in her heart, Sanjie You also wants to be a reclusive woman. But with a biological mother like me, Sanjie You's extremely simple request has become impossible.
Mrs. You wants to take these two daughters to exchange money for herself!
In such harsh living conditions, how should You Sanjie protect herself?
Faced with two real perverts Jia Zhen and Jia Rong , how should Sanjie You protect herself?
When her mother and sister could not be counted on, Sanjie You could only rely on herself. She is too weak as a woman to rely on hard support, so she can only take the wrong approach.
Second sister You seems to be gentle, gentle and gentle, but she has already had a solid relationship with Jia Zhen and Jia Rong.
And what about Third Sister You?
Sanjie You relied on her sword to take a different approach and used a stab to protect herself. She actually made Jia Zhen and Jiarong father and son just covet her but could not get it.
What exactly did You Sanjie do:
On the surface, You Sanjie appeared to be more sophisticated and shameless than the pervert-like man:
His lustful charm restrained the two of them. ...It turned out that he actually had a prostitute with a man, not that the man had a prostitute with him. After a while, he was so drunk that he didn't allow his brothers to sit any more, so he kicked him out, closed the door and went to sleep.
Sanjie You can only temporarily suppress Jia Zhen, Jia Lian, and Jia Rong, these three men who are like perverts.
If it really lasts forever, she will not be able to continue using this method. Sanjie You also understands that if she wants to give up her reputation and become a serious person, she can only find someone to marry and truly have a family of her own.
But who can give Sanjie You a home?
How many pounds she has, Sanjie You can weigh it clearly. She said she would not marry Jia Baoyu, but that was just to save herself face. If Rongguofu really wants to marry Sanjie You with three matchmakers and six certificates, there is no way she will not marry.
Sanjie You fully understood that her sister, Erjie You, could only be Jia Lian's concubine. If she married into the Rongguo Mansion, she would also only get the status of a concubine.
My concubine is in a humble position. That is not the life Sanjie You wants to live.
Who should Sanjie You marry?
Whenever a man from an aristocratic family marries a wife, their family will first consider the woman's background and reputation, and these two things are the shortcomings of Third Sister You.
When Sanjie You chooses a son-in-law for herself, she must choose a son-in-law among the children of a down-and-out aristocratic family; she must choose a son-in-law among the children of a family without in-laws.
Families with parents-in-law would never allow their son to marry Third Sister You!
The real objective conditions were there for Sanjie You to choose Liu Xianglian.
It is pure nonsense to say that Third Sister You fell in love with Liu Xianglian. These two people have never had any contact, and there is no basis for love at all;
Liu Xianglian does not even know Sister You, and there is no premise for love between them.
In addition to the objective conditions, You Sanjie can also like Liu Xianglian's subjective conditions.
Liu Xianglian is a child of an aristocratic family, but he can guest star in romance dramas. In the era of "A Dream of Red Mansions", being an actor was a very humble profession. Even Aunt Zhao of Rongguo Mansion believed that her third-class slaves were nobler than actors.
This shows how low the status of actors is.
And Liu Xianglian is willing to make a guest appearance in the scene. In the eyes of Sanjie You, Liu Xianglian must be an unconventional person.
Sanjie You will take it for granted that Liu Xianglian is a Li Jing who can accept the red-faced girl ; Liu Xianglian can see the forbearance behind her unruly appearance; Liu Xianglian can understand her situation...
Ke You The third sister really made a mistake!
Liu Xianglian himself can sleep in flowers and willows, but if he marries a wife, he must choose a strong and loyal wife. From this perspective, Third Sister You overestimated Liu Xianglian. There was no difference between Liu Xianglian and ordinary people...
At that time, Third Sister You had already regarded Liu Xianglian as the only one who could pull her out of the quagmire. Count on.
Faced with the indecent reputation of Ningguo Mansion, and the reputation of Second Sister You and Third Sister as a beauty, Liu Xianglian, like other men, was afraid that the women in this family would avoid her.
What can Sanjie You do at this time?
Sanjie You is really desperate. Even such a man refuses to marry her. Who else can marry her?
Sanjie You, who had no hope in her heart, chose the path of no return.
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