When an event happens, there is always a reason behind it. We trace the reason, not for whom we want to clean up, but to warn bystanders like us and compare our lives from the reason. Don't let our lives make mistakes like this.
——Xiao Nuan Mom
these few days Zheng Shuang has gone to the sky for a well-known reason.
The issue of surrogacy and "abandonment" continues to ferment, occupying the hot search on Weibo for two consecutive days.
Last night, the topic of "Central Political and Legal Committee commented on Zheng Shuang's surrogacy and abandonment" made Zheng Shuang "hot" .
There is news that she has been listed as a problem artist by the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television. All program content will be offline for processing.
After the situation continued to ferment, in addition to the outrage of the people eating melons, the celebrities slid in their hands and praised the good show.
For a long time, the public's impression of Zheng Shuang is that this girl is a "woman lunatic".
fans are crazy supported "Shuangyan Shuangyu" I don't know how many people offended her.
Yang Yang directly turned to the camera to express his confusion about Zheng Shuang’s words and actions, saying: “ is actually a bit abnormal.”
Xu Qing once said that it is difficult to communicate with Zheng Shuang: "I don't know if she doesn't understand or what, I don't understand what she says."
Zheng Shuang yesterday In response to Weibo, " can't understand" was put on the hot search.
Left to talk about it, without emphasis, and language cumbersome.
Zheng Shuang debuted as the heroine. Looking back on her acting career, it can be said that she has a bright star. Netizens commented on Zheng Shuang’s star road: . Zheng Shuang is the God who chases and feeds
It stands to reason that such a lucky girl should be very fond of life and sunny, but Zheng Shuang's face is always confused and hollow.
She is like a "girl in a sleeve", always wandering in her own world.
How did such a beautiful and agile girl get to this point?
A report about Zheng Shuang’s family released by Tencent News today,Solved the mystery in my heart.
A dream-seeking mother who wants to swap her life with her daughter
When she is a very cool young mother, she wants to perform The dream is to become a star. Even after giving birth to Zheng Shuang, she didn't give up her star dream. She followed Naying's appearance to perform in a bar to help sing. However, her talent was limited and she failed.
She felt that the reason for her failure was because her mother failed to create an environment for her to be a star since she was a child, and nurture her well.
So she placed all her dreams on Zheng Shuang, and she also set up a 10-year plan for her daughter to take part in Beiying.
This "crazy plan" has been implemented since Zheng Shuang was born.
Zheng Shuang just started to learn to speak, and when she was learning Chinese, her mother instilled in her the dream of becoming a star in Beiying when she grew up.
Dance, piano, flute, performance, horse riding, swimming, Zheng Shuang's mother thought that she would be able to empower her daughter as a star in the future, she arranged for Zheng Shuang.
She has an important condition for enrolling her daughter in training courses,That is, she must accompany her to class, and she will not study if she is not allowed in.
Zheng Shuang sometimes gets beaten by his mother when he wants to take a break, so in more than ten years of life, Zheng Shuang has hardly tried to resist his mother.
In the fifth grade, Zheng Shuang failed to enter the primary school attached to the Beijing Dance Academy, so Zheng Shuang’s mother sent her daughter to Chengdu and skipped to the first grade.
Zheng Shuang, who went to school alone, had a hard time. Zheng Shuang, who was controlled by his mother wherever he was a child, did not have too much experience with his peers, so he suddenly became a big one. In the group, she was always "out of place", and the students all "bully" her.
Zheng Shuang, who was in the "gray memory", wrote in his diary "I really miss my mother, I am like a bird, waiting for the warmth of the mother's wings to cover her, curled up in her mother In her arms."
But she can only swallow all these grievances by herself, because her mother has never given her a chance to talk to her. Every time calls, her mother is in "class".
In this way, Zheng Shuang, who originally only wanted to be a salesperson, was pushed all the way to Beijing Film by his mother. Upon graduation, he was hit by the big IP "Meteor Shower" and became a hit.
Zheng Shuang, who didn't yearn for the entertainment industry, has worked hard for her mother's dream. She thought that as long as she became popular, she would have fulfilled her mother's dream.
So after shooting "Meteor Shower", Zheng Shuang began to become more and more Buddhist ,She didn't cooperate with the agency to accept the show and the advertisement, and longed for the warmth of the family. She only wanted to wash and cook for her boyfriend at home, hoping that her boyfriend could marry her and go home soon.
This is the "great rebellion" of Zheng Shuang's 20 years of life. Zheng Shuang's mother couldn't figure out the opportunity that everyone wanted, so how could her daughter be so stupid to give up.
"God is also blind. People who don't like to do it will be put in that position. Those who like to do it will not do it. I am jealous and jealous."
_p6strong she I want to do it for my daughter and believe that I can do it well.
The controversy about Zheng Shuang is always on the hot search every five months. Whenever she sees a bad report, Zheng Shuang’s mother will call and blame the first time. , Strong28strong Zheng Shuang’s mother never asks the reason, gives no solution, just scolds.
Mother's crazy desire for control made Zheng Shuang more and more resistant to communicating with her. Every conversation ended in a quarrel, and it was "Why are you so disobedient" and "You are just to me." I’m not satisfied, I’m just like rubbish.” Zheng Shuang also felt that his mother’s control was “morbid,” and the relationship between the two was so bad that Zheng Shuang introduced his mother to a psychologist five times.
Some netizens said that "I want to exchange life with my daughter" Zheng Shuang's mother just regarded Zheng Shuang as a symbol and tool for her child to live again.
In addition, he has to attribute everything about Zheng Shuang to his own credit. Living in such a shadow, Zheng Shuang's "flying self" is normal.
What kind of experience is it like to have a controlling mother?
Netizen @Rover9805:
I have always been a good student, because my mother is so strong and has been leading my life, but she cannot accept the flawed, emotional, and real me. So I smoked very early (although I don't like it), I love shopping (although I don't have a cold with this thing), I am immersed in these happiness but can't get out. More often than not, I feel that life is too difficult to live.
Netizen @kkCoconut:
I’ve been better since I was a child, because my mother is a strong teacher and I’m more and more demanding, but now I feel that is a strong teacher. Going in the opposite direction, with a strong temper, sometimes very headstrong.
@Fuwen of multiple identities:
In a hysterical debate with my mother,My mother admitted that she had hurt me. It was a debate that she couldn't argue, not that she really wanted to admit it. She was very unconvinced and said, I'm sorry.
At that moment, I did not feel "winning" in my heart, but felt a deeper sense of grief. I realized that even if we all understand what is going on, we can’t change anything, because if we don’t love or don’t Can love, no love is no love.
Zheng Shuang has always felt like a person who has been killed by herself. She is a body with empty inside.
She lived for her mother for the first half of her life. Her mother desperately used her nails to dig out her chest, hoping to get in, put on her skin, become her, enjoy her youth and her glory , Every move is controlled by her.
For mothers with strong desire for control and fathers who cannot give their children a sense of security, how can they cultivate their children's normal stress resistance and emotional management capabilities?
"Never be myself", "Emotional potential is extremely suppressed", this is the biggest trauma to her family.
She really enjoys the love of her parents and the help in education. Compared with "vampire parents", she is lucky, but she does not have herself, so it is difficult to "be normal"-what she needs is not gradually To heal is to destroy and rebuild.
Exploring Zheng Shuang’s native family does not mean that her behavior is forgivable or forgivable, nor is it a tool for her whitewashing.
One thing happened,There are always reasons behind. We go back to the reasons, not to say who we want to clean up, but to warn bystanders like us, compare our lives from the reasons, and don't let our lives make mistakes like this.
Zheng Shuang’s family education is really thought-provoking, and we need to learn from it.
education expert Yin Jianli said in "The Most Beautiful Education Easiest":
strong 28 strong "let children be the education of themselves, strong 28 strong" , Be what she originally expected and liked."
All love in this world is for reunion, but the love of parents is for parting.
As parents, what we should do more is to treat the child as an independent individual, respect and accept the child's ideas, instead of forcing the child to become his ideal.
No one can control a child's life at will.
The native family will affect the first half of your life, but only you can control the second half of your life.
Rilke once said: "Our so-called destiny comes out of us, not from outside into our body."_Strong29strong
How many people have their native families dilapidated, and then survived, living hard and sensible, just to find a little light.
We must attribute all the responsibility for self-harm behavior to our parents, not to exempt our adult self from all responsibilities.
As we grow up, the books we have read, the roads we have traveled, and the people we have met , The misfortunes you have gone through, the people you have loved are part of us and are stored in our inner resources. They can all affect your growth.
If you draw hard and get closer to better people, Learn to be a better version of yourself, and you have the opportunity to complete self-salvation.
If Zheng Shuang can choose to unbind from his native family as an adult and choose the better side, is she now not? Will there be today’s situation?
Faced with bad parents, self-change is the way to go, because in this world, the only person we can change is ourselves.
span Reference: Zheng Shuang and his mother's long war | Gu Yu
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