An 11-year-old boy spends tens of thousands of dollars on Ultraman cards. How can parents guide their children to collect items

An 11-year-old boy collects Ultraman cards

1. A temporary difference is not the end, but the beginning of a new memory!.

2. As long as you are alive, you should do something.

3. Although the past cannot be changed, we can continue to struggle in the future.

4. Even if I become a star in the universe, I will be with you; so, please believe in yourself, and then, please believe in me.

5. This world, I will guard it!

6. Whether it is Ultraman or human, as long as there are partners, no matter what kind of powerful enemies can fight with them, and can defeat them!.

7. To protect this planet, use our hands.

This is Ultraman's classic line. To be honest, sometimes I and my son watch Ultraman and I am moved by the lines and opinions in it.

The surroundings of Ultraman have always been items that children are happy to collect.

The son of Mr. Liu from Suqian, Jiangsu has more than 300 Ultraman toys, among which there are more than 200 Ultraman models, which are more than ten meters long in the living room.

In addition to the model, another collection is the Ultraman card , which my son also likes very much. When he first started using pocket money, he went to the small shop outside the school several times to buy a 1 yuan card, which made me feel distressed. Later, I bought him 15 cards for 2.9 yuan on the shopping platform, and he was too happy.

Ultraman cards are available from a bag of a few dollars to a box of thousands of dollars.The price of the converted one looks less than a dollar, but in fact, the funds that need to be invested are completely bottomless.

Mr. Zhao, a resident of Yubei, encountered such an upset. His 11-year-old son was obsessed with a small toy card. Not only did he secretly take a lot of money from the family, he also said he was doing it for the family. Make big money!

The 11-year-old boy bought a large number of Ultraman cards at the canteen outside the school. Not only did he spend 10,000 New Year's Day money from his grandmother, he also bought it from his mother privately.

These cards that are worthless in the eyes of our adults are worth thousands in the eyes of children.

The 11-year-old son told his father that the cards he collected could be appreciated in the future. Investment now is for the family to make money in the future.

It is not a problem that children have their own preferences, the problem is to have the right guidance.

Collection is a normal condition of childhood development

In addition to Ultraman, children may also like to collect guns, dolls, Lego and so on.

Many children like to collect items that far exceed their own value.

Have you ever met this kind of child? It is obviously a toy that the parents bought to give to their friends, but the children do not give it to them.

Children like their toys very much. They are obviously playing with very close friends, but they are not willing to share them.

Children like toys. They buy them whenever they have a chance. If they don't buy them, they feel depressed and unwilling to give up. But there is no end to buying after buying.

Children’s toy boxes, toy corners can no longer contain children’s toys, and their belongings are filled in every corner of the house.

There are a lot of children’s toys, but broken toys or even parts can’t be thrown away, otherwise they cry like losing a good friend.

……

When we look at the child’s room and see piles of plush toys, building blocks and art supplies, we feel anxious emotions spontaneously. Do you think : "Is my child a hoarding maniac? ?"

Now think of many shopaholics in society today. If a person goes shopping uncontrollably, beyond a certain limit, he will change from creating happiness to creating pain.

Are you anxious involuntarily?

In fact, for most children, "collection" is the normal condition of childhood development, starting from the toddler period and throughout adolescence.

From Lego to Ultraman cards, from Barbie to comic book , collections and collection behaviors are the best childhood memories of children.

For most children, collecting is often exciting and there is a sense of pride.Whenever there is a chance, children will happily display, show off and add their own collections.

However, when collection starts to interfere with daily activities such as social interaction, or when it starts to cause anxiety, collection becomes a problem.

Some children feel that it is necessary to add collectibles and associate them with embarrassing emotions; or start to become anxious or sad when others touch collectibles. When becomes hoarding, it becomes hoarding disease , it should arouse the attention of parents.

BBC has a documentary called "Unable to Stop·Sick Collection Fiction", which shoots people of all kinds and all kinds of hoarding desires, including hoarding dwarf dolls, hoarding Barbie dolls, and hoarding recycled dolls. Yes, hoarding shoes, red beans, vacuum cleaners...

Although their presentation forms are the same, they all like hoarding certain items, but their purpose and roots are quite different.

The three men hoarding dwarves, red beans, and vacuum cleaners are more for being unique, thinking that they are so different. Because of this hobby, they have become celebrities in the area, set records, and attract more people's attention.

The two ladies hoarding dolls are insecure due to childhood and family. One is that they have a doll in the orphanage, and the other is that they move frequently at home.

Neuroscience Research has found that the root cause of hoarding is abnormalities in the brain's nervous system. The patient has a strong urge to hoard objects and has unintelligible feelings for the hoarded objects. For hoarders, it is very difficult to discard items.And they like to pile up countless sundries casually, even at the expense of affecting normal life order and affection with family members and neighbors. But almost all patients with hoarding don't think they have a problem, and they are very uncooperative even if they barely receive treatment.

Hoarding, refers to item hoarding disorder.

Among them, there is a group of people who have strong desires and emotions to hoard. Psychologists believe that this group of people suffer from mental illness, and they will have extreme emotions when they acquire and lose hoarded goods. . It is estimated that about 2-5% of adults suffer from obsessive-compulsive hoarding disorder. generally begins to appear in children and adolescents, and it only breaks out in adulthood.

Distinguish collection and hoarding, and guide children’s interest correctly

My son had a period of time and he was reluctant to throw away the things he played with, a bottle cap, an empty can, a screw, and even a plastic rope , He will put it in his toy box, and when you plan to organize the toys and clean them out, he will be extremely reluctant and very frustrated.

I was upset at the beginning, and I had a deep conversation with him, only to realize that what he was reluctant to spend with him was the time spent with him with these toys, or his good memories. He is not a hoarding disorder, it is a normal condition of childhood development. After communication, he was able to correctly handle these "clutter".

So how do we distinguish the normal collection and hoarding of children? I think the answers can be found from the following three questions,Interfere with the child's collection behavior at the right time.

First, is the debris in the child's room dangerous?

Many children’s bedrooms are very messy. Although it makes people helpless, they generally don’t have to worry about it.

However, if the child’s room is filled with so many objects that they cannot escape in an emergency, this is a problem.

Similarly, the types of items collected by the child should also be monitored to determine whether there is a potential hazard.

Is their room full of toys, is there food or trash that attracts insects or rodents? Is there a risk of fire in the room, such as whether the vents are blocked?

If your child's room is messy enough to make you worry about your child's personal safety, take immediate steps to help your child clean the room.

Second, does the collection behavior hinder daily activities?

Collecting behavior is a normal situation in childhood, but when it hinders children's physical development, academic development and social skills, such as children who refuse to eat, go to the bathroom or play with other children when they do not want to leave the collection Became a problem.

An obvious sign of a serious problem in collecting behavior is that children feel unable to leave the collection to participate in normal daily activities.

Third, how do children react when we sort or discard items?

The child allows us to help clean and tidy the room,Does it include personal belongings that they cherish? Another key sign of a child’s hoarding behavior is:

When an item is taken or discarded, he will feel extremely painful, lose his temper or "collapse", even if it is seen by others as just a rubbish.

When we find that the child’s hoarding habit has some signs or is already serious, we must correctly guide and intervene.

How to teach children to "break away"?

If an adult has "hoarding disorder", the best way is to learn to leave.

Wrongly believe that the value of what you have collected, you may know that the accumulated objects are useless or have a strong sense of personal commitment and sustenance to the objects, it is the patient who knows the objects are for others People are completely worthless.

If this is the case for a child, parents can discuss with the child how to deal with this problem, as well as solutions and strategies. It is not a wise choice to simply throw away or hide your child's beloved collection. In other words, it is to treat the symptoms rather than the root cause.

I suggest the following measures can be taken to help children avoid "hoarding addiction" from the source.

First, limit the available space for children.

Limit the size of the storage space of items in the child's room.

For example,Provide your child with a bookcase to place the collected items, or enforce a rule to explain clearly to the child that all items placed outside the bedroom will be thrown away.

Second, implement the "one in and one out" rule.

This rule requires that every time a child takes something into the room, he must choose one thing to discard or donate to others.

This rule can not only control the number of collections, but also teach children to seriously consider its value before bringing things home.

Third, help children organize things.

provides easy-to-use storage boxes and racks for storing children's things. Help children develop the habit of organizing items and put similar items in the storage box together.

In this way, when the child is looking for a certain item, he will not turn the cabinets and cabinets and mess up the room. You can also understand what you have.

Fourth, set up a long-term use "donation box"

teaches children to regularly put unwanted or unsuitable items into the donation box, thereby reducing the clutter in the entire room and making him aware of what will be available Donating things to people in difficulty is a meaningful thing.

Fifth, provide immaterial gifts.

Try to avoid giving toys to children as birthday gifts or holiday gifts, and let family and friends provide children with more activities that can be experienced as gifts.Such as zoo, children's museum , or tickets for local theme parks.

Conclusion:

When children are young, we have to give them a sense of security and guide them to be happy and not just to accumulate things. It is a pity to pay too much attention to material wealth while ignoring cherished friendships or life experiences.