Big S and her husband Gu Junye became a hot search. The two of them were spitting sugar without anyone else, and they envied many netizens.
fans who were slapped in the face now, who were slapped in the big S's face, "don't get married", and "sister is so beautiful".
Is a relationship good or not? It cannot deceive people. Big S, who is in his forties, has no fatigue on his face and a spring breeze on his face. At first glance, he is moistened by love.
Netizens who were not optimistic about these two people at the beginning sighed that Big S, who dared to hate and love, really played another good hand.
In contrast, Big S's ex-husband Wang Xiaofei exudes resentment sarcastically, and he dare not admit his love affair. He was thrown away by Big S for several streets.
As everyone becomes more and more open-minded about divorce, more and more women are looking for a partner after divorce.
Among them, some women were very satisfied with their second marriage and were very glad that they had a first inappropriate marriage early on.
But there are also quite a few women who have encountered many obstacles on the way to find a partner again.
either find one that is worse than the other, and falls into the pit of the past repeatedly, and every partner is very bad; or the men they meet are not good intentions, and none of them want to enter the relationship seriously instead of seriously.
Also a divorced woman, why is there such a big gap when looking for a partner?
Some people may say that it is not because Big S is rich and beautiful, this is a typical thinking trap.
Beautiful and rich may be easier to attract men, but there is no way to ensure that all the attractions are all positive love, nor can it ensure that the second marriage can be happy.
Otherwise, why are you both beautiful and rich, but you can't end your first marriage?
The fundamental reason is to adjust your mindset. You can be enthusiastic, but you must stay awake; you can be impulsive, but you must set the bottom line...
Especially if you do the following three points and then find the next partner, you may achieve your wish.
Never get entangled with your ex
There are many people who get married in a confused manner before they think it through. After getting married, they get divorced again with their ex urgency, and after getting divorced, they continue to get entangled with their ex... The result is that they can't be cut and it's still messy.
After all, such people want everything and don’t want to give up anything.
But if you can't get both fish and bear's paw, you have to give up some, and you have to give up some.
And some people think they are smart and even if they are divorced, they will keep their ex-boys hanging.
Some people divorce and stay away from home, while others are entangled with their ex. In fact, they treat their ex as a fish in the pond and cast a wide net. If you really can’t find a better one, then go back to catch the ex.
On the surface, this abacus is good, but in fact there are many disadvantages, which can be said to be harmful to others and oneself.
First of all, since you are still hanging your ex, you cannot focus on finding a brand new relationship.
Riding a donkey and looking for a horse seems foolproof. In fact, it is a test for people's energy. It is also easy to cause the situation of stepping on two boats, making people feel guilty.
Secondly, if you divorce your ex, it means that you have many inappropriate aspects with your ex. Even if your ex has some advantages that make people nostalgic, your ex's shortcomings are even more unbearable.
If both parties do not make a complete change, what is the point of entanglement with their ex?
There are also some people who always entangle their ex out of resentment towards their ex. The current one is even more angry when they have a new partner. They try every means to destroy the other party. This mentality is even more stupid.
Since you are divorced, whether the other party is doing well or not has nothing to do with you.
The only thing you can be responsible for yourself is yourself. Life is limited. Spend your precious time on yourself and work hard for your happiness.
Like Big S, no matter whether it is right or wrong, no matter what the husband says, he only pursues a new life. He is so free and open-minded and has clear goals, how can he be unhappy?
Summary of experience and lessons from the previous marriage
When we enter the first marriage, we are often younger, have less experience, and are easily influenced by collective consciousness. When looking for a partner, I was taught and influenced by the outside world, so that my inner voice was ignored.
When you get along with your first object, you have experienced friction, hurt each other, and repaired trauma, so that you can understand what is more important to you.
Sometimes, you only know what you want after seeing what you don’t want.
If we cannot summarize the experience and lessons in the previous marriage, let it become a nourishment, enrich our hearts, and enlighten our wisdom, it is actually a waste of the setbacks we have experienced.
It is not scary to make mistakes. What is scary is that you are still confused when you make a mistake, or you make the same mistake repeatedly without making any progress.
If we have a slightly deeper understanding of human nature, we will find that people with different personalities actually have corresponding advantages and disadvantages. Perfect people do not exist, only shortcomings, and people without advantages do not exist either.
What is important is what is most important to us and what we want most, and then match and select the corresponding person based on what we want.
My friend Xiaonan's first marriage was originally a match made by heaven that everyone envied.
The husband is handsome, talented and rich, and everyone thinks this man is very good.
Xiaonan himself was also very satisfied and got married with anticipation, but after marriage, he found that her husband was in a state of unstable mood and often lost his temper.
If Xiaonan is a person with a strong heart and stable emotions, he can handle his husband's negative emotions. In fact, there is no problem with this marriage.
But Xiao Nan's own emotions are easily affected by others. Often, when her husband's face changes, she becomes uneasy and always wants to please her husband, for fear that her husband will lose his temper again. Everyone can think of the result of
.
Her husband was spoiled to the point of being more unscrupulous, and she was always careful and kept tense at home, and soon reached the verge of collapse.
At this time, my husband's handsomeness, wealth and talent are not worth mentioning. Xiaonan just wants someone with a stable emotional state to tolerate her, accept her, and make her feel safe enough.
After this failed marriage, Xiaonan finally understood that for himself who has not cultivated a strong inner self, the other party's emotional stability is particularly important.
With such soberness, she entered her second marriage. Although the partner's financial conditions were average and not so handsome, her stable emotions comforted Xiaonan many times, making her feel extremely warm and comfortable.
This is the gift brought to us by a failed marriage, allowing us to get closer to the happiness that suits us.
Face the future with an open mind
divorced people, especially women. The most common mindset is: I can't meet true love again, and there will be no one who treats me sincerely again.
If you have been hurt in the first marriage, you will be more likely to have such despair, thinking that all men in the world are the same.
In fact, there are thousands of people in the world, and we have only seen so many people. How can we generalize from a single point?
A netizen said that since her divorce, she has met several men showing favor to her, but she doesn't believe any of them.
It seems that as long as you are cautious enough in the future, you can avoid being hurt again.
What really allows us to avoid harm is our calm mind, timely awareness and reflection, and wisdom to learn lessons.
Although the heart of defense can avoid harm to a certain extent, it also avoids warmth and true love that may occur.
Who would not yearn for love and beautiful intimate relationships?
's defense against others just blocks the door, but we can't close our natural desire for love. Giving others a chance is actually a chance.
Like Big S, no one knows what she will be like in the future and where can a new marriage go, but once she feels right, she will immediately rush forward without regrets and resolutely.
She believes in true love and herself. She enjoys the present, does not entangle the past, and does not fear the future. This is the ultimate weapon to gain happiness.
Divorcery is no longer a taboo topic these days. It not only means the end of a bad marriage, but also means a new beginning.
If marriage is a lesson, divorce is even more important than that, from this small setback in life, we can learn more and more profoundly.
A lifetime of two people is certainly idealistic. After experiencing storms, they still do not forget their original aspirations and bravely pursue love. Isn’t it a beautiful life experience?
Author | Shushui Therapist, has the qualification certificate of psychological counselor of the Chinese Academy of Sciences and the IHNMA International Hypnosis Teacher Certificate, committed to exploring the depth and greatness of human nature.
The illustrations of this article, any website, newspaper, television station, company, organization or individual, shall not be used in part or in whole without authorization.
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