01
Hateful people must have pitiful things
"In the name of family " The drama "In the name of family " was popular, and Chen Ting, played by Yang Tongshu , was also scolded on the hot search.
Many netizens think that Chen Ting is more hateful than Xu Yingying .
Who is Xu Yingying? In "The Supreme Beauty", Yang Tongshu plays a ruthless and cruel harem woman who does all the bad things and is willing to harm her best friend and best friend who is sympathetic to the top.
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Say this is obviously an exaggeration, but it shows from one aspect how annoying Chen Ting is.
She had a stern face when she first appeared, her eyes were sharp and sad, as if the whole world owed her millions.
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As enough, in every shot that followed, she was either losing her temper at the top of her lungs or sitting there with deep grudges and sulking.
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The originally peaceful life of Li Haichao’s house downstairs was also broken by the noise that came as scheduled every day. However, the one who was most hurt was the son who loved her the most - Ling Xiao.
Every time she was angry and turned up the table, he was so young that he always consciously picked up the broom to clean it.
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Every time she overslept in anger, he would make instant noodles by himself and not forget to comfort his mother: "I like to eat instant noodles."
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Every time she started to accuse Ling Heping , Ling Xiao would sit silently in the corridor with a comic book .
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However, no matter what he does, he cannot calm his mother's anger and resentment, because she feels that all this pain is brought by Ling Xiao.
When Ling Xiao was younger, she lost her job because of giving birth to a second child and felt very depressed. She often left her two young children, locked the door and played mahjong with others.
However, one day, Ling Xiao's sister was accidentally stuck by walnuts. Because it was thunder and raining outside, no one heard him slapping the door desperately.
When she finished the game and went home, her three-year-old daughter's body was already cold.
Since then, her mind has become heavier, just like an irresistible power surged in her heart, and she would tear herself and the people around her to pieces every minute.
Finally one day, she left the young Lingxiao without any attachment, and even had no greeting for more than ten years since then.
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However, when Ling Xiao was in his third year of high school, Chen Ting came back and brought Xiao Chengzi, a daughter born in the second marriage and in the first grade of elementary school.
The reason is that it makes people speechless. She feels that the family cannot be separated for even half a year. So her current husband comes to China because of work, so she brings her daughter with her, but she is more cruel to her other biological son.
In order to force Ling Xiao to recognize this sister who suddenly appeared, she forced the child to him who was busy preparing for the exam.
Doing so, even her old mother, who has always been selfish and unreasonable, couldn't stand it. She said to the nail on the head: "It's true that I'm the one who takes you by my side. You always give the younger child to the older child. This mother takes it easy enough."
And she always has reasons: "Little Chengzi needs her brother, and when she cries later, no one can do it." Just like many years ago, in order to vent her inner depression, she handed her daughter under 3 to her son who is still in kindergarten to take care of her. Something happened, but I would only blame why I gave my sister walnuts and why my husband always didn't stay at home.
Later, Chen Ting and her family returned to Singapore , but Ling Xiao’s grandmother was seriously ill. Chen Ting had a car accident with her current husband on the way to the airport. Xiao Chengzi’s father died on the spot. Chen Ting was paralyzed in bed since then. It was difficult to stand up and it took a long time to rehabilitate.
So Chen Ting still used the same logic back then. After Ling Xiao graduated from high school, she forced him to leave his familiar family and friends and let him go to Singapore to study and live alone. In fact, it was to facilitate the care of his paralyzed mother and young sister who were paralyzed in bed.
In such a TV series that focuses on healing, Chen Ting is simply the biggest villain.
From Chen Ting's perspective, I can understand the hard work of her taking care of two children at home alone, but her husband works overtime until late at night every day, and can also understand the helplessness of her husband after losing her daughter, and she can also understand her desire to let go of all the past and go far away to start a new life.
hatefully is that she is completely dominated by her emotions and she has to pull everyone to suffer with her.
She doesn't understand, and she doesn't have the ability to restrain emotions, regulate moods, resolve sadness, let alone take responsibility like an adult for those who need her.
She lives in her own world, hysterically asking others to care about her, understand her, and help her. Even if they all get what they want, they are still not satisfied, and they don’t know how to be grateful or reflect.
She built the meaning of her life on controlling others, constantly hurting the people around her, until she finally made the lives of everyone around her a tragedy.
So, she is a mother in name, but essentially a child, a child who needs a husband or even a young child to take care of herself. Chen Ting like
To put it bluntly, she is a person who is not mature enough but is self-centered. She habitually commits moral kidnapping of people around her in the name of love, and lives by sucking endlessly other people's kindness and love.
Take a step back and say that what she hates is also what she feels sad about. After all, no one can deny that she has really not lived happily enough.
02
Although life is bumpy,
can always choose a happier road
In comparison, as the healing responsibility of the whole play, there is happiness and happiness where Li Haichao is.
He silently protected the people around him with his tiny power, showing us what a mature adult should look like.
From Li Haichao, we see that no matter how big or small a person can do the following two things, he can become the light that illuminates himself and the lives of those around him.
First, learn to give love.
Everyone wants to be loved and needs love. This is our innate desire.
For example, Chen Ting, she roars, begs, complains, and escapes, all for the purpose of seeking understanding and love.
The deepest pain in Ling Xiao and Ziqiu is also incomprehensible why they were abandoned by their biological mothers.
In the TV series, they all finally reconciled with their mothers, but in the real world, abandoned children may not be able to let go of themselves for the rest of their lives.
This is largely due to the unconditional love Li Haichao gave them.
In the play, the only time he cried when he was drunk was because Ziqiu's second aunt asked him to put his position in the right place and not to enjoy other people's goodness with peace of mind, and because Ling Xiao's grandmother blamed him for being ignorant, while taking advantage of the situation, she kept slapping him with her hands.
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He never beats and scolds children at will, but will only hold them in his hands to care for them and give them the greatest respect and tolerance.
This kind of love cures children who have been lacking in love since childhood, and can actually cure their partner in marriage.
We often like to explore interpersonal relationships from the perspective of value exchange, and always feel that everything good must be based on real interests, but therefore selectively forget that unconditional love (selfless love) is the most powerful bond between people.
As the saying goes, if you love, you can tolerate all mistakes. If you don’t love them, even good may become a reason for a quarrel.
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Imagine if Ling Heping could be as tolerant to Chen Ting as Li Haichao to Li Jianjian , every time she makes a noise, she would not complain that she was unreasonable or perfunctorily said it was my fault, but she had love in her heart, hugged her sincerely and listened to her sharing her inner pain and struggle.
Then, Chen Ting can also be cured.
However, " Love is incompetent " is also a common problem in all unfortunate marriages. He can't do it, and Chen Ting can't take the initiative to release love. They are all waiting for each other to tolerate and understand themselves, so they are destined to separate.
Because I don’t know how to love someone, I always unconsciously control others in the name of love or always be petty, afraid that I will suffer losses if I love too much. What about the result of
? Of course, both of them will be disappointed, but they complain that it is difficult to love someone.
Little do you know that giving love is easier than passively accepting love.
Now everyone pays attention to what they want and takes the initiative to fight for what they want. They must take the absolute control of life into their own hands. Why is it the turn of important things like love and happiness that have become so "left to fate"?
It’s very common for people like Li Haichao to throw them into the crowd, but because he is always willing to take the initiative to give love, life is always full of small and real happiness and big surprises.
As long as Chen Ting is willing, she can be the happy one, and we can do it too.
Secondly, we must strive to play every social role well.
Social role refers to the individual's status, identity in society and behavioral norms that are consistent with this status and identity. The roles that an individual assumes not only represents his understanding of his own characteristics, but also includes his understanding of social expectations.
In front of children, we are parents who need to support their whole life.
Li Haichao knew very well, so after his wife passed away from labor, he guarded a noodle shop alone, with the little Jianjian, and tried his best to give her the best love and care. He always smiled and gently told his daughter that her mother had gone to the sea to be a fairy. After a long time, we will see each other again.
He is actually very sad, but he is more clear about restraining his emotions for love.
So, in the eyes of children, he has always been a warm and open-minded father. As long as he is there, he feels at ease and happiness.
, but Chen Ting was confused. She also forgot that she should be the wife who fought side by side with her husband and got out of the predicament.
If she can work hard to do her role, the ending of the story will definitely be rewritten.
03
A little observation will reveal that in every discordant family, there must be a lack of a certain role, so the balance of the family will be broken.
To get out of this vicious cycle, everyone should seriously think about their new role positioning and work hard to do it well when entering every new stage of their life.
In this way, every relationship will be very stable, including the most difficult marriage to deal with.
The most important thing is that whether it is learning to take the initiative to love others or trying to take on our own social role, it means maintaining in-depth links with others. This is the most powerful confidence that each of us can fight against the vanity and impermanence of this world.
However, as Hemingway said: "Everyone is not an isolated island. A person must be the most solid island in the world before he can become a part of the mainland."
Only by practicing himself well can he get along with the world better, and have more hope to be as free as Li Haichao and gain real happiness and happiness.
Life is impermanent. I hope everyone can get the gifts brought by every unexpected test of life, slowly grow into a stronger person in his heart, heal himself and others!
