Modern writer Lu Sihao wrote:
"Make yourself what you want, and then meet someone who does not need to please. It is the same in friendship, love or life. You have to provide a sense of security yourself."
In short, the focus of life and Happiness is created by oneself, and feelings are only a part of human life, but not the whole.
Sadly, many people regard love or marriage as a necessity in life, and feel that if they don’t get married, they will be ashamed of their lives.
In fact, no matter whether you are married or not, every life is worthy of respect. Marriage has the touch of mutual support, and even without marriage, there is unrestrained happiness, just like Zhou Haimei.
Recently, when Zhou Haimei posted on the social platform, some netizens were dissatisfied with her behavior of being unmarried and infertile, so they left a message: "You have such good looks, how regretful you are if you don't leave them to future generations?"
Zhou Haimei replied: " My family has no throne to inherit.”
The unwilling netizen continued to leave a message: “Why don’t you give birth to a child if you are so loving?”
Zhou Haimei said angrily: “What does it have to do with you?”
It seems that in the eyes of netizens, Zhou Haimei doesn’t care. Infertility in marriage means that this life is incomplete, so she frequently leaves messages asking her to have a child as soon as possible.
But in life, is marriage and having children the only option? Is the only way to happiness is the traditional process?
may seem like it to some people, but Zhou Haimei does not live in the public definition.
Who is Zhou Haimei?
She is the goddess in the hearts of countless otakus. She was a beauty who stunned everyone in the 1990s. She is the most beautiful Zhou Zhiruo in " Heaven Slaying the Dragon ".
When she ran for Miss Hong Kong, although she was rejected by the organizer because she was not noble and generous enough, she was chosen by TVB to sign a contract because she was stunningly beautiful. She then appeared in "The Yang Family General ", " Rogue Tycoon ", "Intolerance" "Love" and other classic hit film and television dramas.
Later, she moved to the Mainland and became popular through supporting roles in her middle age. Whether she was playing the role of Master Miejie or attending events, her charm was still there and she could always make the audience want to stop.
is not a professional actor with a formal background, but he has been steadily moving forward in the entertainment industry for 32 years and is still the topic queen. How can a woman like
lack love?
It’s not that she hasn’t loved before, it’s just that she loves too freely!
In 1985, Zhou Haimei and Lu Liangwei became friends in " Island Storm ".
At that time, Zhou Haimei was a rising star. Falling in love might affect career development, and getting married would be even more serious.
But Zhou Haimei, who was in love sincerely, risked everything and entered into marriage with Lu Liangwei.
At that time, Lu Liangwei was 33 years old and Zhou Haimei was 21 years old.
The reason why she got married at the age of 21 is simple. What she wants is a life of freedom, so she will not be trapped in her thoughts by her career, let alone the spread of love.
But at the same time, she will not let marriage hinder her career.
After getting married, although Zhou Haimei was already a married daughter, she still focused on her career, so much so that when Lu Liangwei wanted her to be a full-time wife, she decisively refused.
In her free life, she would never compromise to cater to someone or something, unless she wanted to.
Obviously, at that time, Zhou Haimei did not want to live in Lu Liangwei's arms, so their marriage came to an end.
After experiencing the difficulties of marriage at a young age, Zhou Haimei suddenly realized that what she wanted was pure love and had nothing to do with marriage.
In 1994, the filming of the costume drama "The Legend of Heaven and the Dragon Slayer" started. The role of Zhou Zhiruo was played by Zhou Haimei. This performance provided the most beautiful classic role of Zhou Zhiruo. , the beauty is unprecedented and unprecedented.
It was also during this time that Zhou Haimei fell in love with Wu Shirong, a wealthy businessman outside the industry.
Although Wu Shirong has a lot of money, he acts very low-key. However, for Zhou Haimei, he is willing to show his face and accept public criticism as Zhou Haimei's boyfriend in the spotlight.
What is even more thoughtful is that when Zhou Haimei was infected with a skin disease, Wu Shirong often visited her and never left her, which almost moved the media.
Unfortunately, this love has a shelf life.
Half a year after Zhou Haimei fell ill, Wu Shirong couldn't help but look for a new love. The beautiful love story between the two ended in a transference relationship.
After her relationship failed, Zhou Haimei's career moved to the mainland. When she first came to Beijing, she couldn't tell the difference between east, west, and northwest and often got lost.
But as she lived her life, she fell in love with it, and sincerely felt that the mainland was the meaning of life, so she settled here for more than 20 years.
While living in the Mainland, she met another outsider boyfriend, who was an architect and was 7 years younger than her.
In the relationship between a sister and a brother who are 7 years apart, Zhou Haimei enjoys the sweetness of love wantonly. She cooks together, travels abroad together, and goes shopping and plays like an ordinary couple. It is so comfortable.
However, no matter how sweet the love is, it cannot make Zhou Haimei regain her confidence in marriage.
As a result, this relationship ended quietly.
After bidding farewell to her sister-brother relationship, Zhou Haimei did not report any romance. Therefore, at the age of 55, she often experienced the trouble of being urged to get married and have children.
The audience only thought of her loneliness living alone, but did not know how free she was single.
When she has work, she devotes herself to it. In her free time, she decorates her room with illustrations, plays with her pet dog for fun, watches documentaries to relieve stress, goes out with friends to go shopping, whatever makes her happy.
It turns out that life does not necessarily only have one option: getting married and having children. People who achieve financial freedom will never stick to traditional definitions.
There is this passage in the book "Then, I Was Alone":
"A person's life is certainly lonely, but most of the time he is happy because of loneliness. The ultimate happiness exists in the deep sea of loneliness. In this way Day after day, I gradually come to terms with myself. "
People are born lonely. Marriage and children can't eliminate this loneliness, they just distract their energy.
Therefore, there is no need for some netizens to worry that Zhou Haimei will be lonely if she does not have children.
In her life, she has had vigorous love, enjoyed a desperate marriage, and experienced the warmth and warmth of human relationships. The splendor and fulfillment of life are beyond the imagination of ordinary people like us.
Everyone who is DINK is prepared to die alone, so why should others bother them.
All lives are reasonable. We don’t have to understand each other, but we should respect each other.
Neither marriage nor children are the key to happiness. Choosing what your heart desires and being responsible for the current decision is the way to happiness.
END
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