text/Zhang Xiaonuan
In one sentence, Wang Qiuyu's love to Zhu Yaqiong : half honey and half injury.
The so-called honey, as Ni Ping teacher said in this program: Look at Yaqiong, a 40-year-old man, she still lives like a little girl, with no trace of time on her face.
The so-called arsenic, as Zhu Yaqiong said: I left you because I found that I was with you, becoming worse and worse, becoming more and more inferior. This inferiority is derived from You have been criticizing and denying for years.
Wang Qiuyu shielded Zhu Yaqiong from the storms in life, but at the same time, the storms in Zhu Yaqiong's world were also brought by Wang Qiuyu.
Marriage that hurts while talking about love always makes people feel like a tasteless meal and a pity to abandon it.
Negative
The two have been together for 19 years. Wang Qiuyu has praised and encouraged Zhu Yaqiong less than 10 times, and the rest is criticism.
What shocked me was that Zhu Yaqiong even remembered the number of times Wang Qiuyu praised herself. This is a state of mind that yearns for encouragement and recognition.
Conversely, I don’t know how much Wang Qiuyu’s negative behavior in marriage hurt Zhu Yaqiong.
When Zhu Yaqiong wanted to work in the music industry, Wang Qiuyu did not immediately encourage him. Instead, he collected a lot of Zhu Yaqiong's music works, analyzed a lot, and told Zhu Yaqiong that this was not good, that was wrong.
even bad words: like you, who will hire you?
Before Zhu Yaqiong started walking, Wang Qiuyu was shot to death on the beach.
in marriage,The cruelest partner is that I thought you were the one who gave me a hand, but unexpectedly, you were the one who pushed me down into the abyss.
Fortunately, Zhu Yaqiong did not become a partner like Wang Qiuyu.
When Wang Qiuyu's "Dangerous City" was released, Zhu Yaqiong encouraged all her friends to go to the cinema to watch and supported Wang Qiuyu. She introduced to her friends: He is very talented, especially capable of writing, and a very good person. .
This is what love should be like.
In fact, many times, what we need in married life is not reason and advice, but a warm sympathy.
Life has given us enough criticism and education. Marriage is not about finding a warm companion.
Selfish
Actually, Wang Qiuyu just looks honest and honest, but in the emotional world, he is quite selfish.
01. Individual selfishness:
In the first two issues, Zhu Yaqiong said that in the year after she separated from Wang Qiuyu, she completely became herself, and she was very happy and successful.
Teacher Ni Ping asked Wang Qiuyu: Are you happy when she becomes herself?
Wang Qiuyu: Happy.
Teacher Ni Ping: Then do you agree that she will continue to do this yourself?
Wang Qiuyu: disagrees, no one takes the child. I take most of the children this year.
Wang Qiuyu's meaning is obvious: Even if you are happy to be yourself, your happiness is not important to me. In my heart, children are important and my work is important.
This reminds me of "other people's husband" Lee Seung Hyun .
Back then, it was not that Lee Seung-hyun did not earn as much as or Qi Wei , so he chose to be a full-time dad.
Lee Seung-hyun feels that First, a man’s career line is longer than that of a woman, even if he stays at home for four or five years and then pays, it’s not the same for a woman; second, he saw Qi Wei out of the month. My son started to lose weight and felt very distressed. My wife had already paid a lot from pregnancy to childbirth, and it was her turn to pay for the baby.
In fact, a good love should give you the strength to be yourself, rather than drag you back and make you doubt your ability.
02. Emotional selfishness:
Wang Qiuyu locked Zhu Yaqiong in the car because he was angry twice. In fact, love or not, is actually hidden in the details.
When there is nothing wrong with each other, Wang Qiuyu will care about Zhu Yaqiong’s feelings, such as carrying a box to help Zhu Yaqiong do heavy work; however, when two people have a dispute, Wang Qiuyu will become very concerned and only cares about his own emotions. Regardless of Zhu Yaqiong, you must make noise until you feel comfortable, achieve your goal, and prove that you are right.
Such men are quite scary.
You have won the truth and lost her. What's the point?
distrust
In the show, Zhu Yaqiong revealed an incredible thing.
Pharaoh threw away Zhu Yaqiong's pregnancy test stick when he was pregnant. The reason turned out to be that he thought it was the result of Zhu Yaqiong messing around outside.
Zhu Yaqiong left her pregnancy test stick when she was pregnant, just want to record every important moment about her son,The pregnancy test stick is the first item to prove that this life came into the world.
However, he was thrown away by Pharaoh.
This is so distrustful that I feel that my wife is pregnant, not my own, but someone else's.
What makes Zhu Yaqiong even more chilling is that from beginning to end, Lao Wang never apologized to her for this matter.
Trust is the cornerstone of marriage. If this cornerstone has been destroyed, what is the meaning of marriage?
Don't want a divorce
From beginning to end, Lao Wang was reluctant to divorce, and many kept saying that he loved Zhu Yaqiong.
If it is true love, why can't you give Zhu Yaqiong the love you want? All this girl wants is a little encouragement and affirmation, but an occasional sense of romance and ritual.
She didn't want it every day, or all the time, but Pharaoh couldn't do it.
If you don’t understand love, you can learn. No one is born to know how to love others. It is only through learning.
But Lao Wang did not express his willingness to learn.
He said in the program: Because life education from a young age is to let him learn to look at the problem and see the essence, to be honest, not hypocritical, in fact, these things are quite harmful, especially in married life, she does not need you to tell She needs care and love. I understand the truth, but I can't do it.
Actually, when I hear this, I believe even more, that is the sentence that netizens said: Not enough love.
If you really love someone, how can you wait until the other person reaches out to you, for fear that you will not give enough.
So let go, stop talking about love.
Finally, I would like to borrow a sentence from Mr. Zhou Guoping ,Ending:
In a long-distance trip, it is best to have a satisfactory travel companion, the second best is no travel companion, and the worst is to have an undesirable travel companion.
Marriage is the same. Couples are loving and walk the journey of life hand in hand. Of course, it is lucky. If you can’t do it, walk alone, even though you are lonely but quiet, it’s not a big misfortune. The most unfortunate thing is that the two are obviously bored with each other and want to get along day and night to maintain a loveless marriage to the end.
Author: Zhang Xiaonuan, May you and me meet and grow together in warm and comfortable words
Original is not easy, plagiarism must be investigated!
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