My daughter was stocked by seven top American schools competing for "tiger mother style"

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Speaking of Liang Luzhu, most people may not be familiar with it. But to Taiwan compatriots, this name is a household name.

To a certain extent, Liang Lvzhu is a person who can integrate the labels of "student tyrant", "rich man kutai" and "tiger mother". woman.

Liang Luzhu has excellent grades and graduated with the aura of "talented girl" in the foreign language department of National Taiwan University. With Taiwan’s first self-made travel show "The World is Wonderful", he won the Golden Bell Award, the highest honor in Taiwan’s hosting industry, and then went to the U.S. Ivy League school for further study .

Liang Luzhu fell in love with the founder of Taiwan Ming Yao Department Store at the age of 26 and married into a wealthy family.

A good winner in life.

However, Liang Luzhu’s life is not over. Her achievements in parenting are even more worth mentioning.

Liang Luzhu’s son and daughter were admitted to prestigious American universities, his son entered the University of California, Berkeley, and his daughter Gaojun received 7 top American universities including Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Columbia, Princeton, etc. His offer, setting a record for Chinese Ivy League admission, caused a sensation in Taiwan.

Although many people may think that Gao Jun is the "rich second generation" who won at the starting line from the beginning, in fact, family education is the key to the success of the next generation.

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Many people may think that Liang Luzhu must be a "tiger mother" who has sent a son and a daughter to a top school.

Regarding this kind of speculation, Liang Luzhu herself thinks that this is right or wrong. If she really wants to say that she is a "tiger mother", she only admits that she is atypical.

Liang Luzhu once said that when he was the most "tiger", he was actually Gao Jun's childhood.

Her unique secret is "tighten first and then loosen", that is, in the plastic period of the child's childhood, she acts as a "tiger mother" and helps to develop good habits. When the child is older, the personality concept has already taken shape, at this time you can boldly let go.

When Gaojun was a baby, Liang Luzhu had already begun to try to cultivate her habits.

For example, during confinement, Liang Luzhu also suffered from lack of sleep caused by taking care of the baby in the middle of the night like all novice mothers.

Many friends told her: "This is how a child is. Don't spend a year or two, you can't sleep all the time!"

Liang Luzhu doesn't believe in evil. In order to gain time for rest, she worked out a suitable set. The daughter's "adjusting the baby's work and rest method", when the daughter is full moon, she can actually sleep until dawn.

This surprise made Liang Luzhu realize that his friends’ experiences are not necessarily right.

In the matter of raising children, parents are actually much more active than imagined.

The real education is neither unprincipled laissez-faire and compromise, nor is it restrained and controlled in one way. What's more terrifying than standing in the wrong line is the dogmatism that parents do not understand flexibility in education.

When he was six or seven months older than Jun, Liang Luzhu consciously guided the children to be independent, self-disciplined, curious, eat and dress themselves, and exercise the necessary self-care skills.

On the one hand, Liang Luzhu takes her daughter to release herself and her nature in life, on the other hand It is customary to discipline her daughter meticulously.

For example, she takes her daughter out to play when she is free, and she also uses the wall at homeThe special paint is repainted to allow my daughter to "paint" on the wall at will.

At the same time, her requirements on her daughter’s living habits are unreasonably strict: it is stipulated that her daughter must finish her meal within the specified time, and she cannot make other family members wait for her to finish eating and clean up because of play Chopsticks: It is the iron rule of the house to ask my daughter to have a regular work and rest time. Getting up at 8 am and going to bed at 9 am is an iron rule at home, which is not negotiable.

Even if the daughter is only 3 years old, she can't go back on what she promised. Liang Luzhu will never compromise on this point. Liang Luzhu once said in an interview: I am not a mother who is easy to compromise.

In a blink of an eye, my daughter has reached elementary school age. The first and second grades of elementary school are the easiest two years of schoolwork. Many parents feel that their children will have to bear a lot of pressure in the future, and they will compensate their children in the first and second grades.

Liang Luzhu is the opposite. In terms of schoolwork, she only keeps an eye on her homework when her daughter is in the first and second grades of elementary school, because this is the golden period for establishing reading habits and concepts.

When her daughter first entered elementary school, whether it was writing homework or taking exams, Liang Luzhu took her through all the details, reviewed together, studied ways to improve, and then encouraged her to continue to pursue better performance .

Through this process, Liang Lvzhu let her daughter understand that in the mother's mind, what is the best way to go all out, after getting used to it, it will also become their self-demand standard.

In the third and fourth grades of her daughter, Liang Luzhu’s focus is on teaching her children how to make plans, mark key points, take notes, organize examination papers, and make review sheets for section exams. I taught my children the concepts and methods in four years, and then let them go completely.

In Liang Luzhu's view, after the long and "painful" childhood training period, as the child gradually forms a habit, parents no longer have to do it.

Other parents tend to think that the bigger the child, the greater the pressure, while Liang Luzhu is just the opposite. The bigger the child, the more relaxed she is.

By the time her daughter was in the early stage, Liang Lvzhu saw that her daughter was able to learn diligence, arrange time rationally, self-discipline, autonomy and self-confidence, and she "stocked" completely.

After Gao Jun went to junior high school, he was completely in charge of himself.

Look, stocking is not equal to indulgence. Let children find the enthusiasm for learning, develop self-demanding habits, and have the ability to solve problems Is the purpose. This kind of high-quality "stocking" actually requires parents to put in more energy and time.

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In fact, Liang Luzhu's success in family education has also given many middle-aged mothers more inspiration and inspiration.

In the face of children's education, whether to be a "tiger mother" or a "goat mother" is a problem that plagues every middle-aged mother.

In recent years, phrases such as "tiger mother" and "helicopter parent" have become everyday expressions. So, in terms of family education, to what extent is it appropriate for parents to participate?

I am more inclined to this point of view: as long as parents can make a little effort, children will have outstanding talents. When children show outstanding talents, please let them enjoy more autonomy.

This is the so-called "slight over-parenting."

Clinical and developmental psychologist Diana Baumlind at the University of California, Berkeley, after years of research, came to the conclusion: the ideal This is what the parent of the child should be like-she is actively involved in the education of the child and is responsive. She will respect the autonomy of the child while placing high expectations on the child, and let it go at the right time.

In fact, Liang Luzhu is precisely this kind of parent.

However, this seems very easy, but it is difficult to do. What is more difficult to grasp is the boundary.

It seems that these "slightly over-raising authoritative parents" seem to have a proper grasp of parental involvement.

Children educated by this kind of parents are generally better than other children in academic, psychological and social aspects. However, the parents of the latter are either laissez-faire to their children and are not very involved in their children's education, or they are too strict and interfere with their children's growth excessively.

Dr. Baumlind also found that moderately supporting children's autonomy and restraining interference with children will make children better academically and more positive in their mentality and emotions.

I want to say that the central task of growth is to cultivate a self-consciousness that is independent, confident, self-disciplined, and consistent with reality.

If parents treat their walking baby as a child who can't walk, it will weaken the child's self-confidence and distort reality.

Once the child has the ability to do certain things, it must be admitted that the child has the ability and is doing well, and at the same time encourages the child to continue to work hard. If you continue unnecessary intervention, young children will be dissatisfied with themselves, and teens who beat children may be angry with you.

In fact, in any relationship, letting go at the right time is a difficult job.

"Tiger mother style" stocking not only requires parents to invest enough energy and patience in the early stage, but also requires parents to seize the opportunity to let go. This does require great wisdom.