Zhuang Die Xiaomeng/See the essence through the story
An original emotional number worth your attention
Picture/From the Internet
"The older the age, the more experience." This is probably people's biggest misunderstanding of leftover men and women.
has been writing in the field of feeling things for many years, and has also done various online surveys. Finally, it was found that the younger the people, the more open their love life, and leftover men and women over thirty are relatively "backward".
I think this is probably the difference caused by the different growth background and age.
I have done research on leftover men and women, and later I found that many of them have never even had a relationship. Although some have had a short relationship, they are far from reaching the point of having an intimate relationship.
In other words, many leftover men and women are still "virgin boys" and "virgin girls".
I was particularly surprised at first about this result, but later I saw it more and became accustomed to it.
In recent days, I have conducted online interviews with older single women. After reading hundreds of anonymous replies, I found that those women who are over 30 years old but have never met men have one thing in common - emotional idealism.
It is precisely because of this that they are single to this age.
Emotional idealists are people who use a perfectionist mentality to demand emotions
In layman's terms, emotional idealists are people who are too idealistic about feelings. They usually use a perfect mentality to demand the emotional world.
In their ideas, love is sacred and inviolable. It should be pure and flawless, and it will last forever and cannot participate in any impurities.
In other words, the feelings they request are almost no longer in real life. Even if they are available in real life, they must be a handful of them.
Most of their feelings exist in literary works and TV series.
Idealists are hard to fall in love
Talented woman Xue Tao For Yuan Zhen Never married for life. This "sister-brother love" was a sensation, but it ended in tragedy.
They spent many pleasant times together and left many beautiful memories, and Xue Tao lived the rest of his life with these fragments of memories.
It seems silly to others, but only it knows whether it is worth it.
That relationship gave her a perfect feeling, and in the long life that followed, she would never meet someone who could give her a similar feeling.
So she didn't force herself, nor did she give in, and spent the rest of her life alone.
Idealists find it difficult to fall in love, and even more difficult to enter the palace of marriage. This is the reality.
One reason: the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment
In the minds of idealists, love is the most beautiful thing in the world. It is as pure as the snow lotus in the Tianshan Mountains and cannot be polluted by the world.
People are not sages, nor are they gods. They cannot do without desires and desires, and they cannot maintain a purposeless mentality about a relationship.
The greater the hope a person has for his feelings, the higher the chance of disappointment, because people's attitudes towards feelings are mixed with human nature.
Especially during blind dates, everyone first focuses on each other's conditions, and then considers their relationship.
Marriage and love are realistic, how many couples are defeated by reality? How many couples are scattered in food, rice, oil and salt? These are all facts that cannot be changed.
For ordinary people, this is life, and for idealists, this is a reality that they can never accept.
The higher they praise love, the smaller the chances of getting love.
The second reason: There is no perfection in the world
Women with idealistic feelings are full of perfect expectations for feelings. They have a feeling that is not bound by the world and is unrestrained. They yearn to find a prince charming who is loyal, never leaving and ends with one another.
But these requirements are really difficult for ordinary people.
First of all, there is no perfection in the world. Marriage is never a matter of two people, but a matter of two families. As long as everyone enters the palace of marriage, it will inevitably involve family trivial matters and human relationships.
Secondly, life is a long process of decades, not a day and night. There is no way for everyone to ignore the consequences like the male and female protagonists in the novel, and just love them vigorously, and in more cases, everyone will think longer.
Finally, there is no perfect lover in this world, because people are born incomplete, and no matter how outstanding people are, they will have shortcomings. The prince charming and perfect lovers that everyone thinks only exist in the novel.
To sum up, a woman wants to find her partner with a perfect attitude, but the result is that she cannot find her partner.
Older left-over women need to change their mentality first if they want to get out of singleness
We cannot change this world, we are the only ones that can change. Older leftover women want to get out of singleness, don’t always think about waiting for the perfect prince charming, but should change their mentality first.
First, accept imperfect things
Dare to accept all imperfect things, because the world itself is imperfect, only imperfection is true perfection, if everything goes well, life will lose its fun.
Face the whole world with a challenger's mentality, and you will find that your life is also very interesting.
Second, accept imperfect people
Everyone must understand one truth: there is no perfect person in this world at all. Those lovers who get along harmoniously have found the most perfect way to get along after running-in.
If you want to have a good marriage, you have to accept an imperfect partner and seek perfection in imperfection. This process is actually very beautiful.
Third, convert demands others into demanding yourself
It is better to demand others than demanding yourself. No one will change exactly the way you want, and no one can fully meet your wishes. This is just a new trouble.
Instead of spending so much time asking others, it is better to spend more energy to change yourself.
Slowly you will find that although the reality of this world is not beautiful, there are many beautiful existences.
Zhuang Die Xiaomeng/Emotional Column Original creator
May your life be full of surprises, and may your happiness come as scheduled!
But these requirements are really difficult for ordinary people.
First of all, there is no perfection in the world. Marriage is never a matter of two people, but a matter of two families. As long as everyone enters the palace of marriage, it will inevitably involve family trivial matters and human relationships.
Secondly, life is a long process of decades, not a day and night. There is no way for everyone to ignore the consequences like the male and female protagonists in the novel, and just love them vigorously, and in more cases, everyone will think longer.
Finally, there is no perfect lover in this world, because people are born incomplete, and no matter how outstanding people are, they will have shortcomings. The prince charming and perfect lovers that everyone thinks only exist in the novel.
To sum up, a woman wants to find her partner with a perfect attitude, but the result is that she cannot find her partner.
Older left-over women need to change their mentality first if they want to get out of singleness
We cannot change this world, we are the only ones that can change. Older leftover women want to get out of singleness, don’t always think about waiting for the perfect prince charming, but should change their mentality first.
First, accept imperfect things
Dare to accept all imperfect things, because the world itself is imperfect, only imperfection is true perfection, if everything goes well, life will lose its fun.
Face the whole world with a challenger's mentality, and you will find that your life is also very interesting.
Second, accept imperfect people
Everyone must understand one truth: there is no perfect person in this world at all. Those lovers who get along harmoniously have found the most perfect way to get along after running-in.
If you want to have a good marriage, you have to accept an imperfect partner and seek perfection in imperfection. This process is actually very beautiful.
Third, convert demands others into demanding yourself
It is better to demand others than demanding yourself. No one will change exactly the way you want, and no one can fully meet your wishes. This is just a new trouble.
Instead of spending so much time asking others, it is better to spend more energy to change yourself.
Slowly you will find that although the reality of this world is not beautiful, there are many beautiful existences.
Zhuang Die Xiaomeng/Emotional Column Original creator
May your life be full of surprises, and may your happiness come as scheduled!
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