Good marriage / Is it a practice together for two people / Qiqi We recently received a message like this: "My wife and I have lived a "loveless and sexually" life for a long time. I want to divorce, but my wife refuses to divorce. In this state of inseparableness, I met another w

Good marriage / Two people practice together

text / Qiqi

We recently received a message:

"My wife and I have lived a life of " without love and sex " for a long time. I want to divorce, my wife refuses to . In this state of inseparableness, I met another woman . She and my wife are completely different. We love each other very much, unforgettable, but my wife still refuses to let go. I can't be with her openly, and can only keep entangled in the two relationships, which is very painful. How should I deal with this situation? "

Seeing this case, I just want to say one thing to such a man: Your life could not be so painful, but From the moment you escape the problem, your misfortune is destined . Why do you say that? Let's analyze such a man from two points.

If you have no choice, find another one. Use the method of cutting off the relationship to solve the problem

All problems in marriage have a way out. There is a way to recover. There is a way to recover. There is a way to divorce. If you want to divorce, your wife refuses. If you want to divorce, you can't get rid of it? Do you really have to divorce?

If you really want to divorce, there are many ways to divorce in this era, for example, Let me tell you whether she can understand why you have come to this point and whether you can cause some changes in the relationship.

But you didn't do it. Every time you can solve the problem, when everything is still turning around in , you choose to give in , and you have been compromised and escaping:

has a bad relationship with your wife, and there are conflicts. , When you can't solve it, you run away and use the method of "cutting off sex, cutting off love" to deal with the problem;

I want to divorce myself, but my wife doesn't let go, you run away, let yourself hold all your emotions, and you will pass;

Finally, I found San'er, and felt that the two of them loved unforgettably and I was boldly pursuing love, but this was just a way to use the name of "chasing love" to find external forces to cut off the relationship.

Therefore, your marriage will reach the level of divorce, which has a large part of your attitude of " being shelved and letting things develop ".

When facing marriage problems, you have no ability to solve them. You have always retreated. If you have no way out, just change one and pass it again.

Then today you can go from "retreat sex and love" to "retreat relationship" with your original wife. If you encounter problems in the future, where are you going to retreat? Repeat the muddy waters of this relationship, continue to replace the next one, have you started again?

Watching yourself step by step back to the same pit step by step, you have been having a hard time. Are you willing?

Speaking of mistress, do you really love her, do you care about her?

The so-called "love" you call pulls her into a relationship where she cannot see the future, so that she can only stand in the shadow, never have the light, always be pointed at by others, and be inferior to others?

Rather than saying that you love her, You only love yourself, and you are living with yourself . All the prerequisites are just finding a more comfortable outlet for your cowardice.

If you can't see this pattern clearly, with such incomplete personality, is separated from your wife and enters a new relationship with the mistress, then you are harming the mistress , pulling her into the abyss, and experiencing "the pain of your original wife" again, becoming the victim of the next relationship.

also allows you to experience it again. It is a relationship that cannot be separated from it and cannot be separated from it.

I hope you don’t make decisions too early and pull another person into the abyss after seeing this.

02

will not seek cooperation in relationships, and live a "bare commander"

Marriage is a small family between two people, just like two people opening a company together, You should have been teammates, work together, work hard together , thinking about how to solve problems together and face difficulties.

But in your marriage, you live like a "bare commander". When you encounter conflicts, you don't communicate with each other. You fight to the death and drag your relationship forward. It seems that you are great and selfless. In fact, You are just touching yourself while secretly evaluating the other party in your heart, adding to your own dissatisfaction.

Until you add the code, you can't bear it anymore, so you file for divorce, cheating, and feel that you are solving the problem and living the life you want.

But looking back at your relationship, Everything is you decide without authorization . You never treat the other party as your partner, and you never even give her a chance to solve it with you:

. You decide without love or sex without discussing it with your wife;

. You have never discussed it with your wife even if you divorce, so you decided to cut off the relationship;

. The same is true for an affair. It is all your own thoughts and you have never talked with your wife.

From beginning to end, you didn't even let your wife know: "Why did I treat you like this? What do I want?" You have never tried to face the conflicts in your marriage and solve the problem well.

To put it bluntly, in this relationship, you have always been in love with yourself and living with yourself, not to mention that you are in love with your mistress now. In fact, You just love "my own fantasy" and love "taking care of yourself" and love.

Because of the existence of a mistress, you can tell yourself: It’s not my fault, it’s my wife that makes me unable to love. This woman can make me fall in love, so it’s my wife’s problem.

03

So, your pain is really destined.

Your pattern is destined. You have been in using "greater pain" to escape the previous "small pain" . If you live like this, it will only make your life sink in pain forever.

What should I do? Now you may not be able to cut off your mistress, and you may not be able to cut off your relationship with your partner.

So now for you, going back to the two relationships of affair and marriage is not the question of "how do I choose and how do I pull in the two relationships", but the question of " How do you improve your abilities in these two different paths ".

No matter which relationship is in, under this state, you have your own responsibilities, problems that need to be solved and in-depth communication.

So from now on, how should let you "have in-depth communication", how should you talk to your wife, and how should you talk to a third party? How to cooperate with the other party in a relationship and deal with problems? How do you move the responsibilities you deserve back to yourself? It is your discomfort and your needs. You must calmly take it out and analyze and think about others, take into account other people's feelings, and truly give others the opportunity to make a choice .

This is also the issue you need to sort out and see clearly at the moment. Just like a hemp rope, your life is already in a mess now. First, straighten out the few in front of you so that you can learn to be yourself in a better way.

If you meet such a man, please throw this article to him so that he can be sober. There is no way to solve the problem, and it will only make you fall deeper and deeper.

If you need it, you can send me a private message and I will help you analyze and deal with the problem.

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