-01-
Let’s talk about a case first.
A man and a woman fell in love for many years, but on the eve of getting the marriage certificate, she ended her five-year relationship because of a dispute.
They were each other's first love, and they had a long-distance relationship for more than a year. Both parents were very satisfied, and even the problem of bride price was solved harmoniously.
However, the two went to the furniture store before getting married. Because they chose which sofa to choose, they did not give in to each other. Then the woman left, and the man did not catch up. The two of them had a cold war for several days. After a fierce quarrel, they decided unanimously: break up.
woman said: That quarrel was the most vivid time I spent with him in the years I was with him. From the time we met and when we were about to get married, I didn’t like him all the time, and suddenly I vented loudly at him.
The man said: After that quarrel, I realized that she was no longer the wife I wanted. It turned out that I had so much dissatisfaction with her in my heart. It turned out that I had no longer loved her.
Perhaps, the end of love is so "dramatic".
Most of the two of them were in a state of breath in their hearts, so they completely burst out because of a piece of furniture on the eve of their marriage, and they vomited out all the stuffy breath that had accumulated in their chests.
The love used to be true, and the current discovery is also true.
It can be seen that what happened before marriage seems nonsensical and random, but in fact it may be that you are "rescuing yourself" and that you are avoiding finding the wrong person yourself.
-02-
Love, Metaphysics
When people meet the person they like, they will most likely have a hint of "holding their hands and growing old with them" for love.
But the longer they get along, two differences arise:
One is that the two people love each other more and more deeply, and they become more and more inseparable, and they feel that the other person is the most suitable person in their life;
The other is that love is the last, but "the blood and the swallows fly together in different places", "from now on, Xiao Lang is a passerby"...
As for the emotion of "asking about what love is in the world, it is to teach people to agree with each other" in the legend episode .
Throughout history, Romeo and Juliet, Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai , these seemingly beautiful love, most people may not have truly seen it in their entire lives.
Moreover, their "deep love" happened before they were united. As for what kind of partner they would develop into after living together for many years, it is really hard to say clearly.
Once I saw a conversation:
Someone asked: Why is it difficult to love someone?
Someone answered: Because it is easier to love yourself.
Someone asked: Then why do you hate it when you love it?
Someone answered: Because I finally found out that the person we love the most is actually ourselves.
It can be seen that the reality of love is actually to learn to love yourself at every stage of life.
Even when you are planning to get married, you must think clearly: whether this marriage can make you the most real self, and whether it will make you more and more successful yourself after marriage.
-03-
Getting married requires you to say "I am willing"
Many people face marriage, but in fact, they are old and everyone around them have gotten married, so they have the determination to find someone to live.
There are fewer and fewer people who have the urge to get married because of love.
To truly enter marriage, three elements are actually needed to integrate: two people have passion; they have the same views and appreciate each other; in the process of falling in love, they have developed the desire to "want to spend the rest of their lives together".
This is how when both of them happily say the words "I do".
How many people got married for the sake of getting married, but after marriage, they began to regret and complain constantly, and lived a "scrambled" life that was already fragmented;
even some people wanted to find someone to live together, but they were not united because of how much love the two of them were. Therefore, after marriage, he will indulge himself. As long as the red flag at home does not fall, he will "a iron-clad camp, a flowing soldier", and all kinds of "passers-by are everywhere", without any respect for the word "marriage".
So, when these three phenomena occur before marriage, most of them are God giving you a "opportunity to save yourself" so that you will not miss the road.
First: I'm getting married soon, and I found that my partner is still entangled with my ex.
I saw a video.
At the wedding ceremony, when the emcee asked him to confess his affectionately to the bride, he called the bride's name three times as another girl. The bride was foolishly at the scene, and the whole audience was embarrassed.
Getting married is a very happy thing, but if there is a "ex-in-law" between two people, can such a marriage be happy?
If a person is entangled with his ex before getting married, then most of them, such people either have a problem with their character or they don’t love you.
At this time, if you still hold the idea of "When you get married, he will have the only one in his heart", then your hard days will come from now on.
So, once you find out that the person you want to get married is still ambiguous with your ex, you must give up decisively, you must be sober, such a person is not worth your efforts, and you can stay away completely to meet someone who truly loves you.
The second: buying a wedding house, decorating furniture, house decoration, etc. It is difficult for two people to reach an agreement. There are constant conflicts and they do not give in to each other. This combination will most likely be difficult to live in harmony in the future.
Many people have survived long-distance relationships, lost money, and passed the test of their parents. However, on the eve of their marriage, they quarreled and had different aesthetics and tastes about furniture, how to decorate, etc.
Before the wedding was held, the two of them were exhausted and even broke up in the end.
seems to be just all kinds of trivialities before marriage, causing many conflicts, but in fact, this situation can happen because of the conflict that two people have accumulated for a long time. They are both angry with each other and have been unable to stand each other for a long time.
Just like the couple we mentioned at the beginning, it seems that behind their love, they have been "patience" for a long time. A volcano has formed between the two, and there is only one point in eruption. If two people cannot compromise with each other for a long time, give in and tolerate each other, it is likely that it will be a tragedy after marriage.
Third: either parents or one of the parents opposes it. This kind of marriage that does not receive blessings from relatives will definitely not be a happy marriage.
Many men and women think that falling in love is a matter between two people, and as long as they fall in love, all problems can be solved.
When you enter marriage, you will understand that two people are together as a union between two families.
If your parents wish you marriage and your relatives are optimistic, and the two can understand each other, then your life will be smoother;
If your parents do not accept it and your relatives are not optimistic, then most of the time, even if you love each other, it will be difficult to walk.
TV series " Golden Years ", Zhu Suosuo married Xie Hongzu, and Xie's mother was not optimistic about this marriage from the beginning. In her opinion, Zhu Suosuo was just a profiteering girl and was just interested in her son's money.
Xie Hongzu was even more unintentional. After marriage, he was still in trouble with Zhao Malin. When Zhu Suosuo gave birth to a child, he was still in Zhao Malin's bed. Even if Zhu Suosuo had the flesh and blood of the Xie family, the Xie family did not take Zhu Suosuo seriously at all. Even if the Xie family did not go bankrupt later and Zhu Suosuo did not help him, most of them would not be able to make the final decision.
Therefore, a marriage without the blessings of parents must be considered clearly and do not easily make a conclusion about your life.
You must be clear that everyone actually chooses first in the face of family affection and love, the city is family affection.
When everyone enters the shortlist, they will have some uncertainty and a little uneasy.
So we say that marriage requires "passion".
In fact, a stable marriage is not the most important thing, but you need to cultivate your independent "thinking ability" and be able to take responsibility for the decisions you make.
In other words, you must have the courage to enter the marriage, and you must have the determination to make contributions to this family from now on: From then on, learn to be tolerant, learn to compromise, be able to accept the shortcomings of your lover, be able to rely on each other and stay with you until old age.
We are all ordinary people. Entering marriage is to find acquaintance and encounter for ourselves.
There are stars and seas in this world, as well as firewood, rice, oil and salt. Everything is worth looking forward to.
Author, calm fox
picture, online
May you find the deep affection in my words in the ordinary years! Thanks for your attention!
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