Hello Qianqian, hello brothers and sisters, my name is Tao Tao. I am 28 years old and have been married to my husband for almost a year. In the eyes of outsiders, we are a newlywed couple with a harmonious relationship, but in fact, I am a lesbian.
Yes, my husband is GAY, and our marriage is a physical marriage.
"Before marriage", we made three stipulations. Marriage is only for the family to see. "After marriage" we still live our own lives, regardless of each other. But now a year has passed, His behavior is getting more and more strange, and he even said, "I want to have a baby with me"...
I was born in a coastal city, the only daughter in the family, my father is an engineer, and my mother is a big family member. The company's financial director, , is not a second-generation rich man, but he is still from a well-off family and can buy whatever he wants without worrying about food and clothing.
Because my parents were busy with work, I spent my middle and high school years in boarding schools. My grades were poor since I was a child, and I didn’t even reach the three-book mark in the college entrance examination. Under such circumstances, my parents sent me to study abroad, thinking that if I came back with a gold plate, at least it would be nicer to tell the truth.
Later I went abroad. During my time abroad, in addition to studying and making friends, a very important thing happened, that is I learned about my sexual orientation: I like girls and I am a lesbian.
didn’t understand it in the country before and had never been in love. I originally thought that I had not met a suitable boy. Until I went abroad, I was still not interested in boys. However, when I see beautiful and interesting girls, I will be happy, excited, and even fantasize about further development with them.
My first girlfriend was an American. Although we didn’t understand the language, she taught me many things and opened the door to a new world for me. Even though we loved each other very much, we eventually broke up because of personality issues. After that, I dated my second and third girlfriends, but they didn’t last long.
After I finished my studies and returned to China, although I would go to bars and party with friends, I never fell in love. At the same time, another thing happened, that is, my mother started to introduce me to blind dates.
My parents are very traditional people. In their inherent impression, the order of a woman’s life is to study, work, get married, and have children. At that time, I had already left school and found a job in a financial company, so they followed their lead. He naturally introduced me to someone. It's okay to shirk it once or twice, but if it happens more times, I can't explain the reason. My mother and I argued countless times about this. I didn't dare to confess to them that I like women, because for ordinary families, Coming out is bound to cause uproar.
This blind date tug-of-war between my mother and I lasted for more than two years. No one can imagine how many men I met and how many embarrassing meals I had. Later, I was desperate. With the advice of my friends, I decided to Find a gay as a physical marriage partner.
In this era, the word physical marriage is very common, but when you want to do it, it is really difficult. To be honest, it is more difficult for to find a suitable physical marriage partner than for you to find a suitable marriage partner. It took me another two years from the time I decided to get married to the time I found the person I wanted to marry.
I met Joe at an event. He is two years older than me. He is a local and works as a car salesman in a 4S store. Although he comes from an ordinary background and his appearance is not outstanding, he is the most suitable candidate for physical marriage I have ever seen, because if he does not emphasize it, no one will think that he is gay. He wears ordinary clothes and does not like to dress up, and his personality is honest and straightforward. Duo, like thousands of straight men, cannot be found in a crowd. The most important thing is that he has a partner, and it is precisely because of his family relationship that he urgently needs to find a lesbian to get married.
I have also met Joe’s boyfriend. He is about the same age as him and he seems to be a very down-to-earth and reliable person. They have been together for nearly ten years. Because they neither dare nor intend to come out, their parents are particularly anxious to get married.
We hit it off almost immediately, and it didn’t take long to meet our parents, get engaged, and get married. In fact, my mother was not satisfied with this marriage. Joe's family was from the county town and their income was not high. People of the older generation always pay attention to being well-matched, but she was already annoyed that I still didn't have a partner. She finally took the initiative to bring a man back, so she followed me.
"My parents-in-law" are very nice people and the wedding was held very quickly. At our "strong request", neither party asked for any gifts or dowry, and Joe and I also split the gift money we received privately. He bought a house in the city in the early years. I originally wanted to rent a house in the same community, but Joe insisted that I live in it. He went to live with his boyfriend, so I lived in his house alone. I have to pay rent, but Joe is determined not to, so I prepare several thousand dollars every month to buy appliances for Joe's house.
After that, my parents would come over occasionally, and Joe would go home early. Because I can’t cook, he would buy food and cook. We would play the role of a loving couple, and after they left, Joe would leave again. Unless it is an occasion that requires us to attend together, such as a family gathering or the like, we almost only communicate on the phone.
Everything was fine at first, but starting from the end of last year, Joe suddenly started to live back home frequently, and later moved back directly. When I asked, I found out that his boyfriend's parents knew about their affair and were making a big fuss. Joe didn't want to talk more about this, so I could only comfort him with a few words. During that time, I wanted to move out, but Joe wouldn't let me. Indeed, in a city, the possibility of a sudden visit from parents is too high.
turned around and thought, we are both gay anyway and have no interest in each other, so living together is no big deal. Moreover, everyone has to go to work, leaving early and coming home late. He also has to socialize, and we rarely meet each other.
After "living together", I found that Joe is really attentive. He not only cooks good food, but also keeps the house in order. Every time my mother comes over, she is full of praise for him, and my dad is even more satisfied. Not only did he introduce his friends to buy cars from Joe, but he also always took him to dinner parties. He hoped that Joe could engage in engineering in the future and take over his work.
Later I asked him several times about his boyfriend, but he avoided answering. I was quite surprised at the time. After all, the relationship we had for so many years was really gone? And there was nothing unusual about Joe's behavior.
After the Chinese New Year this year, my parents began to urge us to have a baby. In fact, they had urged us before, but Joe kept pushing it away. Later, I don’t know why, When we were urged to have a baby again, he actually stopped talking, which upset the whole family. People thought I didn't want children and tried their best to do ideological work for me.
Three months ago, a friend introduced me to a northern girl. It has been many years since I met someone I can talk to so well, so it didn’t take long for us to establish a relationship. She has a very good personality and knows that I am in a private marriage, so she understands this very well.
After falling in love with her, I rarely went home to live. Most of the time we stayed together in her apartment. I'm afraid of people visiting my house on weekends, so I sometimes take my girlfriend home with me. It wasn't until one day that my girlfriend didn't want to go back with me anymore. When I asked why, she said that she felt Joe had a problem with her, and she always looked unwelcome every time she went there. I told her that she was thinking too much, because Joe had always been very polite, so his girlfriend must have thought too much, so I just told her not to think too much.
Last weekend was my girlfriend’s birthday. I was going to see her that day, but unexpectedly my parents-in-law came to visit and ended up staying over, so I could only stay at home all day.That night, my father-in-law and Joe both drank too much, especially Joe, who kept vomiting. My parents-in-law were outside, so I had to take care of him in the bedroom.
Originally, he was sleeping on the bed and I was sleeping fine on the recliner. But in the middle of the night, I heard him wake up. I just walked over to help him go to the bathroom, and he suddenly pulled me to the bed and suppressed me. I didn't react for a few seconds. When I reacted, I tried my best to get away, but he was as heavy as a cow. While pulling my clothes, he told me that he liked me and wanted me to give birth to his child. I was scared to death. He kicked him in the middle of his legs and ran out quickly.
Because I was in a hurry at the time, I put on my pajamas and came out without even taking out my mobile wallet. In the end, I borrowed the security guard's phone number to call my girlfriend. She came to pick me up in the middle of the night. The moment I saw her, I couldn't stop crying because it was so scary to think about it.
Early the next morning, Joe contacted my girlfriend, and then she accompanied me home to pack some things and move them out. Joe didn't say a word or stop me during the whole process. But has been sending me messages in the past two days, apologizing and saying some strange things at the same time:
came to contribute today just to help everyone. I don’t know why Joe became like this, but regardless of whether he is straight or not, I am definitely a lesbian, and I am very much in love with my girlfriend now, so it is impossible for me to have anything to do with Joe.
Before, I thought he was good, and it was also based on being a friend. I never had any thoughts about him beyond the scope of friends. I want to ask everyone, what should I do now? My mom's birthday is coming up in two days, and there are often gatherings at our house, but now I get a headache just thinking about it, and I'm even a little afraid of seeing Joe. How should I face him? How should I face my parents?
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