During conversations, we can inadvertently make mistakes that turn people off. It may seem like we don't do anything special, but others see us as weak, insecure, or conversely, arrogant and angry. How to avoid this situation? I talk about mistakes to avoid.
1. Excessive Politeness
Good manners are valuable in society, but everything should be in moderation. Sometimes politeness works against you. This happens when you:
- give a heartfelt thanks;
- give a compliment after almost every sentence;
- feel sorry for the same things over and over again.
If you behave like this, it seems to the person that he needs something or that you should be responsible for him. Excessive politeness and politeness can take away from the sincerity of a communication and make it look like ingratiation.
2. False doubts
Doubts reveal your insecurities and tensions. Phrases to avoid:
- "Can I stay with you?"
- "I wonder..."
- "Does this make it difficult for you to say?"
Better to say:
- "I want to see you," "I want to go with you." .
- "I'm interested in..."
- "Please tell me."
3. Small form
"Have some coffee. Maybe put cream in it? It's table sugar" - that's too much. This type of communication will not make you a "lovable angel." This only angered people. Use small tables only when the occasion calls for it.
4. Deliberately demeaning yourself
"Your word is law to me", "Everything is at your disposal", etc. Such phrases certainly don't show that you are a confident and ambitious person. On the contrary, devaluing your own importance shows that you are weak and ready to accept any concession.
5. The uncertainty of “you” and “you”
Appealing to the capriciousness of “you” and “you” throws people into confusion. He no longer understood how to behave. This may result in the termination of the entire communication. If you have difficulty figuring out how best to contact, ask the interlocutor directly.
6. Unreasonable apology
A mistake or a clumsy behavior "I'm sorry" is enough. But when you start repeatedly asking for forgiveness for a behavior, it can seem inappropriate and intrusive. A person can forget what happened after a few minutes, and if you start apologizing again, it will cause anger.
Read Chekhov's story "The Death of an Official" - it clearly shows how bad a forced plea for forgiveness can be.
7. Familiarity
There is no need to be overly ostentatious and rude. Being too relaxed is interpreted by others as impolite and an invasion of personal space. This is offensive and offensive.
8. Keep teaching
if you are asked to give advice. In other cases, you should avoid it. Unsolicited advice and teaching can seem like arrogance and an attempt to enter personal space.
Don’t make these mistakes and people will be more willing to talk to you!
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