Everyone aspires to be themselves, this is a person's greatest life force. At the same time, everyone desires relationships, which are almost equally important life forces.
However, in various relationships, especially intimacy, on the one hand, it gives us great happiness and joy, on the other hand, it is also a contest between the will of the two parties, which will leave us with a lot of unfulfilled "desire".
So, what should we do? Can we only let these "desires" control us?
For example, if you didn't play it when you were a child, you have to be presumptuous when you are older? Personal love, must do everything possible to get ta in the future? The first time you fight with someone, if you get beaten up badly, you have to fight with that person again?
Of course not, there is actually a simple and direct way to resolve it- Accept the loss and learn to grieve span2span .
The so-called "accepting the loss" means facing reality and admitting that something has indeed been lost. This is an irreversible fact. When we do this, we are bound to feel sad and sad-the greater the loss we accept, the heavier the sadness we endure.
There is a sentence in the book "Thank Yourself for Imperfection": Sadness is the power of ending, almost the only way to help us say goodbye to tragedy.
learn to be sad,Perhaps one of the most important life wisdom. Only by learning to grieve and giving up will we be free from countless "desires" of all sizes.
Sadness is one of the core tasks of the psychoanalytical school of psychologists when doing psychological counseling. A keen psychological counselor will find at any time that many of the visitors' problems are because they did not accept the loss and learned to grieve.
For example, if a person received psychotherapy in college, then with the help of a psychiatrist, this person might say something like: "Yes, I was a little adult in my childhood and I didn’t play much. This It’s a very unhappy thing. It’s something that makes me very, very sad. Before, I didn’t want to admit it. Now, I admit that it is a fact, an irreversible fact. I admit that at this point, I My childhood is indeed unhappy."
It is meaningless to say this rationally. But if the person said this sentence with strong sadness, even tears like rain; then, with the expression of sadness, he also did an "end work", that is, ended the "wish in his heart" "—"No! I have to play hard! I have to make up for what I lost!"
If you have a painful past, then please accept it and be sad for it . On the contrary, if you are unwilling, refuse to admit your misfortune, refuse to accept failure or loss, refuse to be sad, and even force a smile. So, no matter how successful and happy you seem, you are still suffering from the "wish" of the past.
In the movie " Antarctic Love ", Wu Fuchun has a line: fool, one day, you have to learn to be sad.
This is a sentence that everyone needs to savor carefully when they grow up. If you want to recall something more touching, sadness, it has become an inevitable thing.
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