Are the children who have returned to school since the start of school self-disciplined? The problems that arise have troubled many parents. What should children do if they are not self-disciplined? Today we will approach . . A parent’s telephone consultation case for
. A brief description of
. Problem: A parent named Shen who lives in Dapuqiao Street, Huangpu District. The child is in the fifth grade this year and is about to enter the middle school stage in one year. My father is very busy at work and has no time to accompany his children. He is more concerned about his children's growth. The mother said that the child was not very self-disciplined and always procrastinated. Not only in terms of learning, almost everything is inseparable from the reminder of her parents, and she has no initiative at all, which makes the mother very worried. The mother admitted that the pace of learning and life in the future will definitely get faster and faster, and the difficulty will get greater and greater. She said the good and bad, but the child still has not changed. What should I do?
case analysis
In the consultation process, the instructor first learned in detail about the entire process of the mother accompanying the child and gave corresponding guidance methods. In fact, behind the child’s lack of self-discipline, there must be reasons for being seen. If parents see it, the problem may be solved.
Through this case, let’s take a look at the reasons behind the child’s behavior problems and what are the corresponding guidance and suggestions? Maybe you can get some inspiration from it, too.
Reason 1: Children hate being forced
Many times we make plans, delegate tasks, and urge children to do the best. However, if we do not pay attention to the methods and make the children feel that they are forced and controlled to do these things, the children will use uncooperative and confusing tactics to negatively resist.
Guidance and Suggestions
The most taboo thing in educating children is to be simple and crude. You must not let the child feel that all the rules in the family are made for him alone. Therefore, when making plans, you can communicate more with your children, give them more choices, and give them a sense of participation and ritual.
From an educational perspective, children are more willing to obey the guidance of people who like themselves, respect themselves, and communicate fully with them is the best way to solve children's resistance. Parents should also be leaders, set an example for their children, and teach by example.
Reason 2: Children are afraid of failure
Children are afraid of failure, firstly because the goals set by parents are too broad, such as: learn English well, listen to the class well, and the children don’t know how to execute it. Second, children are unwilling to leave their inner comfort zone and are afraid of new environments and changes. The child is worried that he will not do well, so in order to avoid failure, he chooses to escape.
The development of any habit is the most difficult at the first stage, so children cannot be just required to be self-disciplined. For example: Some parents will ask their children to write a diary every day, memorize a Tang poem every day, and read it for an hour every day. When children lack confidence in completing this task, they may feel resistant.
guidance suggests that
feasible solution is to implement it step by step, slightly reduce the requirements for children, and discuss with children to set some more reasonable goals, such as: two days a week, just write for 10 minutes a day, and just read for 20 minutes a day. As long as the child starts to take steps, progress and change become possible.
Reason 3: I am afraid of success, so I ask for more
There was a child who said he was deliberately delaying, worried that if he finished it in time, his mother would arrange other tasks. When a child gets the top ten, his parents will ask him to take the top five, and when a child gets the top five, he will ask him to take the top three. This is a lot of pressure. When a child feels that he is unable to do so, his self-control will become worse and he will deal with it.
guidance and suggestions
makes children feel more interesting in the process of performing tasks, rather than more stressful, and can mobilize children's enthusiasm well. This is more important. If a child doesn’t want to write a diary, he can write reading notes. When children read books, they can exchange them for several types of books, such as popular science books, novels, story books, etc. They don’t have to read the same type of books.
In summary, during this guidance process, the instructor guided the mother to reflect on his educational methods based on the reasons behind the child's behavior and gave the mother specific guidance and suggestions. If you also have various troubles in your child's growth, please come and consult ~
Wutong hotline is waiting for you
☎021-61919302
⏰8:30--18:30
(Monday to Sunday)
edit / Chen Lulu
source / Huangpu female
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