Letter from parents
Teacher Hou:
Hello!
My son is in the third year of junior high school this year. In the past few years, he should be in the rebellious period. He has been doing everything against me. Often I say one sentence, and he tops ten sentences. Let him go to class online, he is absent-minded; let him go to bed early, he must stay up late; let him not play mobile phones, he is addicted to the Internet all day long. I don't think this can go on any longer. In order to let him change these bad habits, I did not hesitate to spend a lot of money, trusting relationships, and finally contacted him a closed school in the field. But unexpectedly, after his son knew about it, he was suddenly hysterical at home and smashed things like crazy. I am really upset, Teacher Hou, how should I face the child's rebellious period?
The mother of a 17-year-old boy
November 17th
Hou teacher's reply
Hello, this parent friend
!
Actually, this child is now in puberty. Adolescence is the heyday and peak period of individual development. The child's physiology and psychology have undergone tremendous changes. The children's self-awareness, self-centeredness, ambivalence, and emotional characteristics should all arouse parents' attention.
Understanding that children are the beginning of education
The most obvious feature of puberty is the sudden increase in
self-awareness. What are the outstanding performances of
at this stage of
?
· desire for behavioral and psychological independence ;
· hope to get rid of parental discipline and control ;
· hope to act according to their own ideas and methods ;
· hope for a clear sense of boundaries and freedom of choice ;
· hope Respect, trust and equal treatment by parents;
. Respect for is the first psychological need of adolescent children.
But starting from the fact that the mother helped the child transfer school, parents can think about it, do parents respect their children? Do parents understand the characteristics of their children's physical and mental development?
In fact, if parents educate their children based on feelings and wishful thinking, it is ignorant love. The more ignorant love, the deeper the harm, and the more rebellious the child. Only by understanding the child, understanding the child, and not violating the law of the child's physical and mental development, can we give the child a high-quality company and promote the child's wonderful bloom.
Five factors that affect children's performance
Actually, there are five factors that affect children's performance: learning motivation, learning ability, learning habits, learning methods, and learning environment. But at different stages of children's growth, the importance of these five elements is different.
The critical period for the formation of learning habits is before the third grade of elementary school. However, if the child reaches adolescence, the parents still emphasize the learning habits and continue to give pointers to the children’s learning habits. Not only can they not develop good habits, but also Will cause strong resistance from the child.
also has a learning environment. How many parents change schools and environments for their children in order to improve their performance. However, during the many years of counseling, I have come into contact with too many cases of failure of children being forced to transfer. These children either resisted passively or abandoned themselves, dropped out of school, dropped out of school, or even gave up school completely. Many parents regretted it. The relationship between
and parents is the fundamental factor
Of course, learning environment, learning ability, learning habits, and learning methods are all important to improve children's academic performance, but for adolescent children, relationship is the fundamental factor that affects children's learning.
According to the latest survey of adolescent students in Shanghai, many parents give their children invisible pressure and great resistance to their children's language, behavior, expectations, eyes, and atmosphere, which are consuming their children's vitality. In fact, many so-called school-weary or even world-weary children consume most of their energy, energy, and time almost every day in their relationship with their parents.
According to the year-round tracking of high school and college entrance examination students, as long as the child does not consume energy in the relationship with his parents, the counterattack of grades and physical and mental health is not a miracle, but a natural thing.
How can parents avoid the energy consumption in the relationship between their children and themselves?
1, shut up more, less nagging;
2, see more advantages, less disadvantages;
3, Smile more, less anger;
4, use more energy on yourself, and use less energy on your children.
In fact,
education is nothing but a role model,
education is nothing but self-growth.
Psychological research has found that children who have a tense relationship with their parents, even if they have achieved great success, still have a life full of regrets; and those children who have a harmonious relationship with their parents, even if their lives are ordinary, are still full of happiness. The true education and the happiness of life are produced in a harmonious relationship.
Reconciliation: Yu Xiaoqin
Edited by: Huang Peiwen
Executive Editor: Li Zhe
Easy to deal with child puberty
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