elementary school are already considered older children. At this time, they are unwilling to lag behind, have a stronger sense of competition, and at the same time have higher independence, enhanced self-control, and their own social circle. Parents often worry, "Why are my children especially rebellious when they are only in the fifth grade?" Talk back and quarrels have become commonplace, and they also show some characteristics of adolescence. Educational psychology experts admitted that it is generally considered that adolescence is 13-19 years old, and some children have obvious puberty performance in the fifth and sixth grades of elementary school and become very rebellious, leaving many parents at a loss. Children's puberty arrives early, how should parents respond? Let's listen to what educational psychology experts say.
01
Early arrival of puberty
Learn to live in harmony with your baby
In our impression, worrying about children's puberty is something that parents of junior high school students have to face. Why do parents of primary school students in grades 5 and 6 have brain pain.
experts believe that with the enrichment of people's living materials, children's nutrition is more adequate than before, and both physical and mental development are much earlier than before, which also means that puberty may arrive earlier.
And Erickson mentioned in the eight major stages of psychological development that children at this stage of adolescence have "rebellion" as the most obvious feature, and they have a strong desire and attempt to explore themselves.
Therefore, as long as parents understand the psychological characteristics of adolescent children, understand that the rebellious period is an inevitable stage of the child's development, and do not "talk about discoloration", they can get along well with their adolescent children.
02
is easy to be psychologically locked in to parents
not rushing nor impatient to maintain good communication
adolescent children will appear psychological locked in. This makes them often close their inner world and not expose it to the outside. What parents worry most is that their children do not communicate with themselves. When they enter junior high school, it will be more difficult to communicate with their children. Experts from
said frankly that everyone should understand that the psychological lock-in of adolescent children is mainly aimed at their parents. Before puberty, the relationship between children and their parents is generally close. Parents are the main source of psychological and emotional support for children.
By the time of puberty, as the time spent with peers increases, as well as physical and psychological changes, the relationship between children and their parents begins to alienate, and peers gradually become the main object of children's emotional and thought exchanges, and they are open to their peers.
Therefore, parents who want to communicate with adolescent children must first establish a good parent-child relationship. For example, do not use parental authority to order children, treat your children more from an adult's perspective, and don't use a judgmental attitude to deal with children's views that are different from yourself. When the child encounters a problem and cannot deal with it, the child will not hold the matter in his heart, but can actively seek the help of the parent.
03
face up to the psychological needs of children
give children some autonomy
It is said that three or four-year-old children are in the first resistance period of their lives. Junior high school teenagers can also advance to the upper grades of elementary school, or postpone them to the second resistance period when they occur in the early high school.
As the parents of students in the upper grades of elementary school, how should we recognize the child's second resistance period?
experts said that the child's second resistance period is mainly manifested in three aspects. The first is equality of status. The child feels that he has grown up, and he wants to have a status and decision-making power comparable to that of an adult, and he especially dislikes the interference of authority.
is followed by greater mood swings. Children are easily emotional, but also easy to feel down because of certain setbacks. In addition, children are more likely to have emotional attacks in front of their parents.
Finally, adolescent irritability caused by the awakening of the child's sexual consciousness. In such a "tug-of-war", children will inevitably feel restless. The reason for
's second resistance period is the asynchrony of physical and psychological development and the influence of social factors. Physiologically, children enter puberty and are already close to adults in appearance, especially in secondary sexual characteristics, so they will feel that they are "adults". But psychologically, on the one hand, they feel that they are "adults" and should have the right to make decisions. On the other hand, they cannot get rid of dependence on their parents. This contradiction is the main reason for the resistance period. In terms of social factors, children at this age attach great importance to their status among peers and friends. They strive to find close friends and are eager to be accepted by others.And respect.
"For this, they must strive for an independent personality." Teacher Cai reminds parents that when children's autonomy is neglected or hindered, and personality extension is hindered, it will cause resistance.
How can parents help their children pass puberty smoothly? Teacher Cai has 5 suggestions:
1, change ideas and respect children;
2, understand the growth characteristics of children's self-development;
3, face the changes in parent-child relationship between parents and children, learn to let go appropriately;
4, treat each other with friendship and respect autonomy , Especially respect the privacy of children;
5, guide children to correctly accept themselves and their changes, and let children recognize that this period is a necessary stage in the development of each individual with a positive attitude.
(Chen Lan)
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