Quality Parents 365 Classroom
DAY 95
To love children requires wisdom, how does
distinguish between love and doting?
It is the nature of parents to love children. We often say that we must be wise to love children, which means great love, but when some parents love and love, it becomes spoiling. So how do we distinguish between big love and doting? You can start with Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theory holds that human needs develop from a lower level to a higher level and can be divided into physiological needs, safety needs, belonging needs, respect needs and self-realization needs.
Let's take a brief look at the main content of these five types of needs.
Physiological needs
Physiological needs are the most basic needs for human survival and development, including appetite, sexual desire and other survival desires.
security needs
security needs include the need for personal safety, stability of life, and freedom from suffering, threats or diseases, and there is also the need not to be scolded.
Belonging needs
Belonging needs includes friendship, love and the need for belonging relationships, so we all hope to have friends, hope to be loved by others, hope to join an organization, hope to have a stable close relationship, or even form a family.
Respect needs
Respect needs to include feelings about one's own achievement or self-worth, as well as the recognition and respect of others for oneself.
Self-actualization needs
Self-actualization needs are fulfilling one's potential, achieving one's life goals, and reflecting self-worth.
The love of parents for their children can also correspond to these five types of needs.
Parents who love their children often pay special attention to their children’s high-level needs , such as attaching importance to children’s needs for belonging, respecting needs and self-realization needs, creating conditions as much as possible, providing children with opportunities for social interaction, and cultivating children to have more contact with each other Kind of activities, discover their potential, let the children have ideal ambitions and so on.
Parents who dote on their children tend to pay more attention to food and clothing for their children, to give them brand names, to prevent their children from being wronged or frustrated. These are often the children's low-level needs, physical needs and safety. Needs.
We all want to be parents with great love, but the high-level needs that pays attention to often require a long period of persistence to see a little result. It also requires parents to guide and accompany their children with the power of example to explore these high levels The way to realize the requirements is . If parents are not patient enough and cannot demand themselves, they are often prone to fall into a level of doting.
Of course, parents who love a lot do not care about their children's physical and safety needs, they just need to meet their children's physical and safety needs, instead of paying too much attention to them like doting parents.
Wang Zhoulan
National Level 2 Psychological Counselor
Master of Psychology, Beijing Normal University
Secretary-General of Chengdu Heart Association Hypnosis and Mental Health Committee
Family Education Instructor (senior)
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