There is a saying in "Green Tree", "When I treat thorns as a field covered with flowers, nothing in the world can torture me." Family Education , in the face of adolescent children, what they need is to treat thorns as flowers and realize the beauty of life.
copying and checking in on the 29th day, today I continued to read the seventh chapter of Mr. Winnie's "Psychological Magic of Adapting to the Psychological, Children Better Cooperating, and Growing Happy with Children" "Accompanies Children through Adolescence". Learn to understand that parents of adolescent children need to reexamine themselves, understand their thoughts, and effectively carry out puberty family education and other content.
Through puberty safely
Children enter puberty, which is a new opportunity for parents to grow up
Adolescent children, with enhanced self-awareness and more requirements for independence, autonomy, self-esteem and freedom. If a child wants to become an independent social person, he must be "psychologically weaned". Rebellion is a manifestation of "psychological weaning" of children in adolescence and is an inevitable result of their growth.
During this period, parents often faced such confusion: "Since my daughter went to middle school, she had nothing to do with us, and she often looked worried. When you ask her, she said, 'Don't bother me, you don't understand if you say it'. Why is this?" "A teenage son just wanted to grow up, but his parents' words didn't work and often went against us. Why is this?"
has a case like this: a girl is 18 years old and is in her freshman year, and has been staying at home due to the epidemic. One afternoon, at 3:00 p.m., my daughter had an online class, but at 2:00 a.m., the father saw her daughter lying on the bed, lifted her daughter's quilt and took a short video, and posted it in the family WeChat group. When the mother saw the video, she thought the child was very unbearable and ignorant, and blamed the child when she got home. The daughter hid in the room. The father rushed into her room without knocking on the door, lifted the quilt and asked her: "Why are you sleeping again?" The daughter felt very wronged. Because her parents were busy in business, they would help with housework when they were at home. As a result, the mother blamed her indiscriminately. The father repeatedly lifted her quilt, and she was angry, so she picked up the scissors... Although the matter had not escalated, the problem was that until the end, the parents did not realize their problem, and always felt that the problem was that the daughter was ignorant and disobedient!
Faced with these situations during adolescence, Mr. Winnie said in this article that parents need to examine their own aspects:
1. Is it fully respect the child's ideas;
2. Does it give children more autonomy and freedom;
3. Do they consider the child's feelings;
4. Does it conform to the child or have awkwardness with the child?
How to do puberty family education
Children enter puberty, how parents grow up with their children
Listen. When faced with the irritable and explosive characteristics of adolescent children, you need to remain calm and listen patiently. The time for listening and talking is usually chosen when the child is happy. Parents should not be arrogant when talking, and do not always focus on learning the topic of conversation. When you listen to your child’s thoughts patiently, it has invisibly reduced the chance of conflict with each other and is more conducive to helping your child solve problems.
persuasion. This is the most commonly used method for parents. But remember: don’t nag, don’t blame, don’t compare, don’t get angry, don’t say extreme words. Family members should agree on the same page and not undermine each other in front of their children.
letters. If the child is unwilling to sit down and speaks well, you can write a note or a short letter and place it on the child's desk. For example, parents of "Fu Lei's Family Letters" communicate in writing to reflect the educational power of letters.
demonstration. The humanistic and natural environment of the family has a subtle effect on children. The role of parents as role models is a silent education. Parents should set a good example for their children and play a demonstration role. Parents who require their children to do it first. Only by not being a hunched person may they require their children not to be addicted to mobile Internet.
In this chapter, Mr. Winni also talked about the five principles of family education in adolescence:
1. First understand and accept children;
2. Lower requirements and adapt to children's psychology;
3. Relieve children's emotions;
4. Become the same group with children;
5. Experience the feeling of success or failure.
Give your child a reason not to take detours
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— What I continue to read today is about family education, accompanying my children through adolescence.
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