Hurry up and eat, otherwise I won’t take you out for a while.
quickly complete the homework and will not watch TV today.
When I look at me writing this word, I have to write horizontally first and vertically first. Why don’t you listen?
...
This kind of conversation is very common in our daily lives and often fails.
I used to teach the evening tutor class and knew very clearly that these words were nonsense for children who consciously completed their tasks.
is even more nonsense for those who are disgusted with learning and are unwilling to do their homework, because they will not listen to you at all.
In the face of children's disobedient behavior, we all hope that children can reach a consensus with us and complete tasks independently and consciously, so we will be very anxious to give suggestions or orders so that children can implement them.
In fact, children don’t need your advice at all. What they desire more is that
is seen.
When I communicate with my lover, I will use the following words carefully:
Frequent, always, often...
and other time-limited words, I collectively call them emotional words.
Because of the addition of these words, it often has an exaggerated and unrealistic effect.
For example:
You always don’t listen to me, look, you will suffer this time.
You always arrive so late, is it so difficult to be able to be on time?
But the reality is:
, but have you really never heard the other party’s opinions? Didn’t
really not pass once on time?
The speaker is unintentional, and the listener is intentional.
But these inappropriate expressions and emotional demands make the other party feel uncomfortable, disrespectful, unrespected, and unseen.
During the National Day holiday, many people should hope to take their children out for travel and relax. But travel often becomes a headache for many parents, because children often become a burden on the journey.
For example, if you climb a mountain, the child shouted to hug his father after walking a few steps because he was tired.
When eating in the tourist area, the child was struggling for a long time and didn't know what to eat, but there was a bunch of people queuing behind him.
But none of these are intentional by the children, they are all being the real selves.
When the child is tired, he wants to take a break; when he encounters many delicious foods, he will be confused about what to eat for a while.
As a more mature and experienced adult, he needs to help children observe themselves and help them express themselves.
For example, if a child wants to hug him, the father squats down and says, are you tired? Let's take a break together.
The child suddenly doesn’t want to do his homework anymore. You can ask, is he going to have to rest when he is tired or encountering questions he doesn’t understand?
Think about problems from the other party's perspective, so that children know that their parents understand them, and instead make communication between the two parties smoother.
Last words
If you want your children to cooperate with our work, you must first describe what the children are doing and understand the reasons for their behavior.
Because the child’s language system is incomplete, the vocabulary is far less than ours.
When children have bad behaviors, we often criticize and give suggestions.
but ignores what the needs behind this behavior of children are.
more observation and understanding, and
children will also be one step closer to us.
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