Someone asked on Zhihu , why do our parents always like to urge them to get married? Getting married for the sake of getting married, aren’t you worried about pushing us to the grave of sorrow?
The editor believes that only Chinese parents care so much about whether their children are married or not, and foreign parents seem to not worry about their children’s personal problems. The reason is that Chinese people must live the same life as others. "Different" from others means you are "unusual". Parents seem to be unable to tolerate their children being different from other people's children, and think that "the child is abnormal" means "they are abnormal."
In the eyes of some people, even if you are an expert, have published many books, and have helped many people, even if your income is a hundred times theirs, it is useless. They are married and have children, and they have these elements that conform to traditional Chinese life, and they are better than you. In this case, you can imagine parents' anxiety, because many of the parents' criteria for judging whether their children's life is good or bad, come from the outside world. And everyone is spreading anxiety. So parents will pass on their anxiety to their children, and then the children will be brought into their anxiety, causing guilt and feeling that they are not able to live a good life.
Parents will also often nag that their children are unfilial if they don’t get married and have children!
Chinese people attach great importance to childbirth. Children will make parents think that “build my sense of existence on my offspring.” Some people have no life of their own, so they have to have children and then control their lives as their own lives. For example, when parents are old, they must have a child. While watching the child, they feel that their lives have been continued.
Do parents really care about their children’s happiness? This happiness is based on the child’s own true feelings, rather than living a life where everyone is alive. Parents should respect their children's feelings and not pour out their anxiety on their children. When their children bring their loved ones home, they should ask them carefully: "Do you love each other?"
hope that starting from our children, every generation is the crystallization of love, not the prop of "Everyone lives like this, I live like this."
As a married woman, I don’t want to get married and have children if I can do it again!
Why? Because of soberness, because of reason, because of responsibility. As a mother, it is really impossible to support her family, be filial to her parents, manage her family and take care of her children! I really can't keep up with my energy and physical strength! I was afraid that I would get sick, so the pressure on all aspects came! It’s really hard for women to live after marriage! Don’t talk about anything else, just talk about raising children!
"raising children" is not only about feeding a full meal, but also about cultural and moral education, cultivation of interests and hobbies, and cultivation of mind and nature. If possible, I hope to nourish the advanced ideas of the next generation and let the next generation embrace better literacy as much as possible. I can't guarantee that I can raise my children, and I don't expect them to respect me. Let’s take a step back and answer with simple junior high school biology knowledge, giving birth is nothing more than three results:
1. An angel baby who doesn’t worry about (do I have this luck?)
2. The same as me (I think I feel upset)
3. It’s worse than me (Isn’t this even more deadly?)
So, sometimes I will ask myself, if it’s my child, can I accept it when he’s older, or if he decides not to get married in this life?
———"I can!"
I envy those who can be themselves. They have light in their eyes, they don't need to care about other people's eyes, they are full in their hearts. They may encounter wind and waves, but the process of overcoming obstacles and riding the wind and waves, the satisfaction of clearing the clouds and seeing the sun can also make people feel aftertaste. Compared to a smooth and ordinary life, I hope to experience more ups and downs.
And my child, I hope he can live out himself rather than grow under the tree of his parents.If he expresses his wishes clearly and firmly, I will respect him! My role makes him him, not make him another me! As long as he feels that doing this will make you happy, it is worth it!
For this question, I have seen the best answer! Posted for your reference only! Show those anxious parents and let everything go! I forced the child to get angry, and both sides were in the end!
Everyone will have different understandings about this issue! Everyone has different perspectives on things. The above is only personal opinion. Don’t criticize if you don’t like it! Also welcome to leave a message in the comment area to share your experiences or insights! [Send Heart][Send Heart]
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