Hello everyone, I am Douma of two children. I have many years of educational experience, a psychological counselor certificate and a family education counselor certificate. Today I will talk to you about the issue of " Chicken Baby ".
How big is the difference between attending cram school and children who play every day? It's not just the difference in grades.
Have you heard of the Internet word "chicken baby"?
"Chicken baby" refers to the behavior of parents "injecting chicken blood" to their children, constantly arranging learning and activities for their children to work hard in order for their children to read good books and get good grades.
Do you have such parents around you?
Let’s not talk about anything else, just talk about my classmates at Dou.
If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears, I would never have thought of how two or three-year-old dolls would carry the burden forward.
When my bean was three years old, she sent her to school. She came a little early and several parents sat on the mat in the classroom and were chatting.
I am a mother who is not good at socializing. I watch my daughter play with other children while listening to them.
After listening to it for about 20 minutes, my chin was shocked.
In addition to early education, their children also signed up for English, painting, thinking, swimming...
, which is seven days a week, and the courses are all filled.
are they talking to each other about which school is better and which teacher is serious in class...
at the end, and a parent turned around and asked me what courses did I enroll in for my child?
I smiled and replied, "Only early education and swimming."
She continued to ask with a confused look on her face, "Didn't you learn anything else? Children cannot lose at the starting line, but you still have to enroll in more courses."
Then several parents nodded in agreement, looking very agreeable.
I smiled and stopped talking, what were I saying? It's not at the same level of education at all.
At that moment, they could not understand my calmness and wind. Similarly, I couldn't see through their "excited" mood of enrolling their children in class so hard.
They are extremely happy to be echoed by their choices, just like they have reached some kind of "fit" in private, and they feel that this is the right thing to do.
Speaking of this, we talk about a neighbor’s child, and the rebellious mentality of lack of companionship.
One day before the high school entrance examination, my neighbor's house was in a quarrel.
The sound of throwing the bowl seemed extremely sharp in the quiet night, and the crying continued to flow into the eardrums. I guess the whole building was awake.
They speak at the top of their voices, and the house is not very soundproof, so they are clearly speaking.
My parents are in business, they go out early and come back late, and they often go on business trips.
There are often only grandma and children in the family.
Parent-child meetings for children since childhood, grandma participates in school parent-child activities.
More than ten years have passed in a flash, and the only time I spend with my children is the Chinese New Year.
They think it is important to work hard to support their families and give their children a good living environment. What does it matter if they are with them or not?
Due to the lack of companionship, they did not know their children’s ideas and made decisions to plan their lives for her.
And she is in adolescence and her emotions are relatively sensitive.
She deliberately fucked her parents, played until very late on the weekend before coming back, and then quarreled and roared, venting her emotions.
She is using her way to show the meaning of her existence.
The emotional maintenance is two-way and is accumulated bit by bit by bit.
Free life
My daughter never spent her weekends in all kinds of schools, but running in nature and in the countryside fields.
She has seen ants moving on the ridges, mushrooms in the forest, birds in the trees, fish in the river, and ears of rabbits...
She has heard the sound of cicadas and knew that roosters crowing in the early morning and the sound of buffaloes in the evening...
She has drifted in the valley stream, grabbed mud in the river pit, and danced by the bonfire...
The nature of a child is to play, play as much as he wants.
Whether it is the amusement park or the fields and the countryside, just have a good time to have fun.
During the play, I learned a lot of life knowledge.
Once my daughter saw ants moving things in groups. She was very curious and squatted on the ground and watched for a long time.
She asked me "Mom, what are the ants doing?"
I replied "They are moving."
She asked again "Why do they move?"
She asked again "Why do they move?"
She would keep asking questions until she figured it out. She will remember the knowledge points of
more firmly because she saw the real thing, the real thing that was vivid.
Ask your child’s needs
Sometimes we should also ask your child’s needs appropriately and we cannot treat them completely as children. Where to play
? What to play?
Family family should also discuss together, and the child’s ideas are also very important.
Sometimes I ask my daughter, should I go to a zoo or a playground on weekends?
She will hold her cheek with her hands and think seriously, and then choose.
She will be quite interested in the place she chooses.
For children, letting them participate in making decisions is a kind of affirmation for them.
They will feel that they have grown up and are like little adults!
My friend’s educational concept is different from mine, she always makes choices for her children.
What choice does such a young child make? After all, my parents have the final say.
Once, she went to her house to play, and her daughter was practicing piano and she played very well.
I asked her if she likes playing the piano very much?
She said, "My mother likes it. She asked me to learn. If I choose myself, choose drum set ."
Her mother muttered beside her, "What kind of drum set a girl learns? She has so temperament to play the piano."
More than half a year later, one day my friend came to visit her and talked about it again.
She said that her daughter hadn't learned piano anymore and went to learn drums.
She said that she felt a little uncomfortable when she looked at her happy drumming. She should have let her choose what she liked long ago.
I was very pleased to hear this. At least my friend respected the child’s decision and let her live the way she liked.
Only once in childhood
For children's education issues, we cannot say one-sidedly which is right and wrong.
starts for children, there is no doubt.
is just whether we should consider it from the perspective of our children and ask what they want?
"can't lose at the starting line". Can this "starting line" be converted and changed to guidance, not mandatory.
html After entering elementary school at the age of 07, there were so many courses and so many homework until graduation from university, or studying for a postgraduate doctorate.The pressure of learning in the future has never been reduced for a moment. Why should they still deprive them of their happy childhood before they were 7 years old?
As Hu Shi said, they are independent individuals with their own ideas.
We give birth to them, not manipulating them.
Don’t force our dreams that we can’t fulfill in this life to put on their heads.
They are our children, and what we should give should be love and company.
Our responsibility is to cultivate their three views and be honest.
As for the future path, they will walk and explore it themselves.
The road paved by adults is not unobstructed, and some obstacles cannot be predicted in advance.
relies on accumulated adaptability and judgment, which are explored by children themselves.
Finally, I want to say that children have only one childhood, let them play crazy!
pictures are from the Internet. If there is any infringement, please contact us to delete it!
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