A friend confided to me: "I am most afraid of making mistakes, even if it is a very small mistake. When I was a child, my mother could chatter and scold for an hour. The grades of a small test regressed slightly. What awaited me was a beat. If I failed to go home on time after school, I would be punished. So, in order to avoid being beaten and scolded and punished, I learned to lie. But what gave me a headache is that I became more and more lying, and even when I didn't need to lie."
Children's lying has always been regarded as a bad character by their parents, and they are often corrected through various severe punishments. Some parents even believe that the more severe the punishment, the less dare the children lie. However, the result was not ideal, which made the child more and more keen on lying. Why is this happening with
?
Because the child discovered such a heart-wrenching fact: I made a mistake, and once my parents discovered it, I would be severely punished. To be honest, admitting the mistake will never reduce the punishment, but will make the parents even more angry. Only by lying can I avoid the punishment and get the understanding of my parents. Therefore, when a child makes a mistake and is discovered by his parents, the child will choose to lie rather than tell the truth.
Of course, when children are young, lies are easily seen by their parents, but as children grow older, their lies are becoming more and more experienced, and lies are becoming more and more perfect, which is difficult for parents to see through. This makes the child more convinced that lying can protect himself from punishment.
However, lying by will cause various hidden dangers and even cause irreversible consequences.
The friend who claimed to be "liking sex" had depression in the second year of college. She had insomnia and irritability, had unbearable headaches, could not concentrate on studying, and was in pain every day. But she dared not tell her parents that when she called her parents every week, she always lied that everything was fine.
Later, she couldn't stand it anymore, so she went to the hospital for treatment alone, which was extremely painful, but she never dared to mention it to her parents. Because her experience of telling the truth when she was a child was so bad, the tension, fear and helplessness were always deeply imprinted in her heart, and she carefully suppressed this bad mood by constantly lying.
She firmly believes that once she tells the truth, this negative emotion will once again make her suffer, so she becomes "liar" because only in this way can she feel absolutely safe.
Campus bullying has always made parents feel uneasy and fearful. The reason is that children dare not tell the truth to their parents. Parents have no idea what their children have experienced in school. They often don’t know until something goes wrong, but it’s too late and it has caused irreversible consequences.
Why do children who are bullied suffer so much grievances and don’t tell their parents? It is because of the painful experience of telling the truth when I was a child that children dare not tell the truth anymore. Parent-child communication is seriously poor, and there is even no communication at all, so children will never talk to their parents.
Those children who are not cared for and supported by their parents have serious internal strength and lack confidence and confidence. They are "weak individuals" in the class and are very prone to bullying, because bullies specifically seek weak students, just like tigers and wolves always look for weak individuals in the flock to attack.
After being bullied, the more the child dares to tell his teachers and parents, the more frequently he will be bullied, because the bullies will never be warned or punished, and they will become more and more courageous.
Children are not born to love to lie. Children who love to lie often stand behind parents who are accustomed to solving problems with punishment or violence. When a child admits his mistakes honestly, parents only see their children's mistakes and punish them through blame, beating, etc., instead of seeing their children's honesty, they will not praise their children's behavior of admitting their mistakes.
Children will firmly believe that honesty is undesirable, honesty will be punished, and their own mistakes are not accepted, so they choose to lie, because lying not only covers up their mistakes, but also successfully evade punishment.
Only by encouraging children to be honest, praising their children to admit their mistakes and correct them in time can parents feel relaxed and calm, make them not afraid of making mistakes, be brave to take responsibility, and become a confident, confident, and healthy person.
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