"Widowed parenting" and "fraudulent parenting" have become popular parenting words today.
Mom takes the initiative and dad holds back. This is a true portrayal of many Chinese families. The absence of father's love seems to be everyone's acquiescence.
I often hear some people ridicule that my father is like a mountain and motionless. Even the children claim that "my father is like a shadow."
The role of a father seems to be dispensable in the family, but as a father, do you know how much impact your absence will have on your children?
The pictures in this article are all from the Internet, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant.
The old father who "disappeared"
The following is a child's description of his father, which is true and heartbreaking:
"My old man Father, he seems to be very busy.
He is so busy 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, that neither my mother nor I can see his shadow.
My father has said since I was a child, "I have to make money to support my family, and I don't have time to take care of you." But money should be. I have made money, but my home is going to be lost.
Mine. Old father, he seems to be quite free.
After get off work every day, the sofa has become his home. As soon as he turns on his mobile phone, he automatically blocks us. You can’t wake us up. His serious attitude is more serious than my final exam in elementary school. Focus.
Are you talking about my father? "
From the childish and simple description above, we can see the shadow of traditional Chinese fathers. On the one hand, they are busy with their livelihood as an excuse, and they miss the growth of their children. On the other hand, they only focus on entertainment at home and refuse to communicate with their children, just like children. It has nothing to do with yourself at all.
This situation is actually not uncommon.
once read a survey in which more than half of new mothers said that their spouses invest less than 10 hours a week in raising their children. About 80% of Chinese women are experiencing "widowed parenting."
The absent father not only increases the wife's parenting anxiety, but also makes the children live in dire straits.
How much impact does the absence of father's love have on children?
writer Hu Shenzhi said: 90% of children’s shortcomings in life are due to the absence of father’s love!
mentioned this issue, we have to first discuss the significance of the role of father to children.
Father is the foundation for a girl’s happiness
American psychologists have found that the father’s influence in a girl’s life is 50 times that of the mother.
In the eyes of girls, fathers are not only representatives of courage, authority and strength, but the masculine qualities in you are also the standard for them to choose partners and marriage partners in the future.
If the father is absent from the girl's world all year round -
firstly, it will make the girl lack the correct understanding of self-worth, making her lose self-confidence and security;
secondly, it will easily make the girl lose the reference standard for men, from you The father's love lost in the body often leads girls to obtain it elsewhere in the future.
Such as love, but this kind of girl has a higher chance of meeting a "scumbag".
According to statistics, girls who lacked father's love in childhood are more likely to choose older men who look mature and stable when choosing a mate in the future, and prefer older men as partners.
But this is tantamount to a big gamble. Because of the age difference, the girl and her partner have different cognitive levels of the world. They are prone to conflicts. Not only does the other party have more social experience, it is often easier to manipulate you. As a result, As a result, girls get hurt in love.
Father is the motivation for boys to strive.
The famous psychologist Gerdi once said: "Father is a unique existence and has special power in cultivating children."
Especially for boys, presumably every boy, When I was a child, I dreamed of becoming a superhero like my father—one who could not only fight in battles, but also protect his family from the wind and rain.
You are their role model and motivation for their struggle.
Especially before boys are 12 years old, their identities have not yet been unified, and they will learn from their father how to be a man and learn the masculine qualities of their father.
If you lack your father's company -
often causes boys to lose the power of the example, and then become inferiority and rebellion.
also has another problem: the absence of the father, often leads to the mother's desire to control. They are forced to strengthen the discipline of their sons because they have to bear the liability for childcare.
and this shackles not only make the mother more anxious and tired, but also may make boys more likely to become "Mom Bao".
grows up in the control of her mother from an early age, and lacks the guidance of the male character of the father. It may make the boy lack masculinity, too weak, and social ability, and become the "Mom Bo Man" in everyone's mouth.
HTML hesitated in his feelings in his feelings, and listening to his mother too much, the misfortune of marriage began. In summary of, we can find that the absence of his father is often the beginning of a family's unfortunate beginning. Wife and children, and future descendants of the family may move towards the abyss of pain.
extended reading: A qualified father, to accompany the child to do these things
, the famous director Li An said: "I have become a father and a gentleman, which does not mean that I can naturally get their respect. . You have to earn their respect every day, and you must meet a certain standard. Interaction, let the children feel the father's love through high -quality companionship. What should
do?
1, a father who can play. put down his father's shelf and play with your children happily. Some simple things can also enhance your status in your child's heart.
2, a father who squatted down. learns to communicate with children equally, stands at their perspectives, and respect their choices and suggestions, rather than suppressing the children with the authority of the father.
3, a humble father. should not always dislike the child's thoughts too naive, and directly deny them. Sometimes, our adults may not have children thoroughly.
4, a reasonable father. knows the child's affection and movement, instead of rebuking their wrong way in a rude way.
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