Wen丨Folin Mommy
I went to a Liangpi shop for lunch at noon. By the time the shop was crowded with people, the only place where the tableware from the previous table was confiscated, we Sat down. At this time, a little boy who seemed to be only 7 or 8 years old ran over with a wink, took the cutlery from the table neatly, and wiped the table with a rag.
After a while, the boy brought two pieces of Liangpi to deliver the meal. We hurriedly picked up and thanked him.
Being served by such a child, as a mother who also has children, I feel very sad.
The child is very sensible, and no one is worse than anyone, and there is no need to feel sad for others. I am just a mother , thinking that if my child is so sensible, I should also feel a little uncomfortable.
Because the family conditions are not good, the children are ripened prematurely, and they take on the responsibility of taking care of the family at a young age. Some need to help with housework, some need to help with younger siblings, and some also need to help their parents with the small business at home... Difficulties have become a kind of wealth.
But I don’t think it is that simple.
A netizen said: "I didn’t understand until I was over 40.The children of the poor do not actually become homes early. They generally do not become mature and assertive until they are around 30 years old. "
By maturity and assertiveness, he refers to understanding the logic of the operation of human society and the truth in the depths of human nature, rather than just mastering basic survival skills.
It is "knowing the hardships of life." should form an independent and complete personality.
The difficulties of the family and a more thorough understanding of the world for children do not actually help much. Survival from these kinds of Life principles and behaviors derived from the environment may also become factors that children will not adapt to this society when they grow up.
My living environment was not very rich when I was a child, so I was sensible very early. Children.
After discovering the situation at home, I rarely ask for things from my parents, because I am afraid that my parents will be embarrassed. Over time, I develop a personality that suppresses my own needs and takes care of the overall situation.
When I grow up, I find that This feature made me miss a lot of opportunities, made me less happy, and made others a little tired to get along with me, So when I was in my 20s and 30s, I started to learn to express my mind and initiative like a child again. Strive for...
On the contrary, I observe the children with better family backgrounds around me. They don’t have the so-called "extravagant comfort" or "not enterprising". On the contrary,They know better what they want, have higher pursuits, and are more courageous.
Children with better backgrounds can often get better educational resources as they grow up. More importantly, they will be exposed to a wider range of circles and see more diverse things, which will promote They have more levels of thinking about life and the world.
Another difference is also very important, which is the life advice that parents can provide to their children.
When I graduated from university, I was at a loss during that time. I didn't know what I should do. I just took various exams with others. Later, after working, I discovered a lot of truth. If I knew it in advance, I could avoid many detours. Not only my youth was consumed here, but also a lot of passion and fighting spirit.
Therefore, poverty in a family is not the best way to improve children's independent maturity.
What really allows children to mature independently is to enhance their cognition.
There is a book called "The Essence of Poverty", which talks about what is inherited from generation to generation of poverty, not opportunity or even labor, but the perception of poverty.
As parents, we are obliged to continuously improve our own cognition, so as to drive children to improve their cognition.
There are two ways to improve cognition. One is to learn and the other is to go out and see more.
Learning is a way for ordinary people to improve themselves at the lowest cost.
Textbooks, books, and media are all learning materials. Spending your time on these things is much more valuable than boring short videos. There are also some popular concepts, hot words, and some new trends in society, which must be kept up. Because the biggest enemy of cognition enhancement is cognition solidification, so that you can accept new information and new ideas, which is valuable in itself.
In parenting concept and education method , we should maintain a learning attitude.
Going for a walk is the most direct way to learn, and it is more effective than reasoning.
To meet the world, it does not necessarily have to be done with money. There are many useful places but free places, and we have not made full use of them. How many times can I go to the library and museum in a year? Not to mention far, have you ever visited the cultural and natural tourist attractions in the surrounding area? Have you ever told your children the stories behind them? There are comfortable travels and poor travels in tourism. If you see more, children will know that the world is big and their ambitions should be higher.
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