Educating children, positive suggestion is often more effective than other methods.
In the United States of the last century, a boy often asked some questions unrelated to textbooks in class, which annoyed all the teachers who had taught him.
One day, the boy came home from school and gave a note to his mother and told her that it was given to him by the teacher and only his mother could read it.
The boy's mother opened the note and read aloud while shedding tears: "Your child is a genius. This school is too young for him. There is no good teacher to teach him. I suggest you teach it yourself.
Many years later, the boy invented the electric light and became famous in one fell swoop.
He is one of the greatest inventors in the world- Edison .
Many years after his mother passed away, Edison accidentally found a note in the closet. It was the one that the teacher gave him back then.
He opened the note and saw it read: "Your child is mentally flawed. We decided not to let him continue to study. He was officially dropped out."
after watching Edison tears Full of face,He wrote in his diary: "Edison was a mentally impaired child, but his mother changed him into a genius of the century." Instead, regard him as a genius.
Edison has always kept his mother's words in mind as he grows up, showing a talent that is different from ordinary people.
Imagine if Edison's mother read the actual notice on the note, would he have any future achievements?
To give a positive evaluation to a child is to suggest to the child that Ta is a great child, thereby enhancing the child's self-confidence.
On the contrary, hitting the child, saying some negative things to the child, will give the child some negative hints and move in the opposite direction.
When I was in junior high school, there was a female classmate in my class. Because there was a red birthmark on her face, she was very withdrawn and low self-esteem.
Whether she walks or attends class, she always keeps her head low. The hair is also thick and long, covering half of the face tightly.
Since childhood, parents have always looked at her face and sighed:
A girl,How ugly a birthmark on his face is, it's really sad!
Why is this birthmark not long enough? Why does it grow on the face?
If this birthmark cannot be cured for a lifetime, how can I marry it in the future!
Later, this female student underwent an operation in a plastic surgery hospital. The birthmark on her face was seven or eight points away. With makeup, it was basically invisible.
But she is still very inferior, and she still habitually walks with her head down.
From the moment she was born, her family has always hinted that her birthmark is ugly. If it is not cured, no one will like her in the future.
This kind of "ugly suggestion" has been deeply rooted in her heart. Even if the birthmark on her face is removed later, the psychological "birthmark" is always branded in her heart.
Negative suggestion is a mistake we often make in our lives, for example:
You can't do this simple question, it's so stupid!
If children often hear this sentence from their parents,In his future studies, he will often hint to himself in his heart: I have a low IQ, and I must have a bad test this time. Over time, I really became a poor student.
If a parent or teacher often says: "This kid is smart, it's just too careless."
and the child often loses because of "carelessness" .
Why?
Because there are too many psychological cues, children will really think that they are careless, thinking that this is something they cannot change.
Psychological research has found that the person who affects the child's personality most is the parent.
If parents often give their children some negative cues, and the children psychologically recognize their parents’ negative cues, they will continue to move closer to the negative images described by their parents.
Negative suggestion will bring negative influence to children. Similarly, positive psychological cues can give children confidence and courage.
American psychologist Professor Rosentah once did such an experiment:
He randomly selected a few students from an elementary school to do intelligence tests.
After the test, he told the teacher that these children are very smart and will definitely achieve something in the future.
8 months later, when Rosentah returned to this school to test the children on the list.
He found that the grades of these children are generally much better than the first time, and the teacher's evaluation of them is also very good.
In fact, these students were randomly selected by Rosentah, but after the teacher got his information, he began to have higher expectations and positive comments on these students.
These students received positive attention and positive hints from the teacher, which strengthened their self-confidence in learning, and slowly began to develop in a good direction.
This experiment also shows that educates children, and positive suggestion is often more effective than other methods.
Parents’ cues affect the children’s direction, so how to positively cue their children? Parents may wish to try these 4 methods:
1. Use positive language to encourage and praise the child
, the famous psychologist Alfred said: Encourage praise,In the process of raising children, it is more important than any aspect. Almost all the reasons for children's misbehavior can be considered as a lack of appropriate encouragement and praise. A child who misbehaves is a child who is not encouraged . "
For example, when a child cleans up his toys for the first time, the mother should give appropriate praise: "The baby is great! I can organize toys by myself, better than my mother! "
The child is praised, and when the toy becomes messy, he will think of the mother’s cue and take the initiative to clean up the toy.
_p7span strong cue,
strong expression
When a child is infancy, he can read information in his parents’ micro-expressions to judge whether things are good or bad.
Therefore, the parent’s expression in front of the child will also be affected by the child’s expression. The mentality has an impact.
For example, if a child falls down, if the mother hurriedly ran to pick up the child, her face will be full of self-blame.
In my own emotions, I feel that I fell really painful.The more comforted the mother, the louder she cried.
If the mother does not pick up the child in time when the child falls, she will continue to do her own thing regardless of her appearance.
The child reads from the mother's face that the incident is not serious, and he may get up after crying twice.
Children will inevitably encounter difficulties and setbacks when they grow up. Sometimes a parent’s encouraging look can increase the child’s self-confidence and strengthen the courage to overcome difficulties.
Managing your own micro expressions is a compulsory course for every parent.
3. Affirm the children's advantages and hobbies
Parents need to see the bright points of their children.
Each child has his own advantages. If a child's academic performance is not satisfactory, maybe he is good at playing basketball or is talented in music.
Parents should respect their children's hobbies and encourage them to do what they like. Children who are encouraged by their parents may have amazing achievements in one aspect.
4. Set a good example for children
The words and deeds of parents will have the most direct impact on their children.
The most positive suggestion, of course, starts from the parents themselves.
When waiting for the bus, set an example and proactively line up; actively give seats to the elderly with disabilities; throw garbage in the trash can...
These trivial lives Little things will have a positive impact on the child.
Good quality parents and correct behaviors are the best tutors.
"A child with an underdeveloped mind is highly suggestive and easily influenced by the evaluation of people around him."
, With fewer negative hints, let children grow up healthily in a sunny and positive state.
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