Chernyshevsky said:
"Since there are black spots on the sun, things in the world are even less likely to be without flaws."
No one in the world can have a smooth life all the time, and no one can have a happy and trouble-free life every day. In life, it is very common to encounter unhappy things.
Smart people have the perseverance to be stubborn and the wisdom to turn around.
When things don’t make sense, they will change their perspective; when they feel unhappy, they will adjust their mentality.
What affects your mood is often not the thing itself, but the angle from which you look at the problem.
There is a saying in Buddhism: "If the mind changes with the environment, it is an ordinary person, and if the environment changes with the mind, it is a sage."
means: The mood of ordinary people is always affected by events and situations. If the "environment" is good, the mood will be good; if the "environment" is bad, the mood will be bad. But wise and expert people can control their own moods and let things follow their own moods.
We are all ordinary people, and our joys and sorrows always come very directly. But it is not difficult for us to achieve the ability of a wise man to "change his situation according to his heart".
When you are unhappy, you might as well look at the problem from another angle, and your mood will often become brighter.
A person's mentality when facing things directly affects the direction of the situation he is in. When your mentality is good, things will tend to develop in a positive direction.
In ancient times, there was a scholar who wanted to go to Beijing to take the exam and stayed in an inn. At night, he had a strange and bizarre dream.
He dreamed that he was planting sorghum on the wall, and also dreamed that he was walking in the rain wearing a bamboo hat and holding an umbrella.
The scholar thought to himself: How can sorghum sprout and grow if it is planted on the wall? Isn’t it a waste of effort? Just wear a hat in the rain and hold an umbrella, isn't it unnecessary? Could this strange dream be a sign that my many years of studying in a cold window were in vain, and that this trip to take the exam was in vain?
When he thought about it, he immediately lost confidence in rushing for the exam, so he packed his luggage and prepared to return to his hometown.
When the innkeeper learned the reason, he smiled and explained his dream:
"This strange dream of yours is a good sign! If you think about growing sorghum on the wall, it is a high-quality plant." Wearing a bamboo hat and holding an umbrella in the rain is a sign of stability. This is a sign that you will be admitted to high school, and you will definitely win!" When the scholar heard this, his depression immediately disappeared, and he suddenly felt that his future was bright. So he stayed and continued to prepare for the exam, and a few days later he was ranked second in high school.
As the saying goes: There are two sides of the river, and there are two sides to everything.
Looking at the problem from different angles, the situation will be different, even very different.
When you see a fallen leaf, you may first think of its tragic fate of "falling into mud and grinding into dust". But if you think about it from another angle, you will find its noble integrity of "turning into spring mud to protect flowers".
When you see the delicate roses, if you just stare at the sharp and numerous thorns on the stems, you will find them annoying. If you pay attention to the variety and beauty of flowers, you will find them pleasing to the eye.
Therefore, what affects a person's mood is never the thing itself, but the person's perspective on the problem.
If you look at the problem from a negative and pessimistic perspective, you will feel that your future is bleak and your hope is slim, and your life will become worse due to your depression. On the contrary, if you look at it from a positive perspective, the annoying things will seem insignificant, and the irritable mood will gradually become peaceful. Then, the troublesome things often become clear and solved.
As the psychologist Maslow said: "If your heart changes, your attitude will change; if your attitude changes, your habits will change; if your habits change, your personality will change; if your personality changes, your life will change."
The famous host He Jiong said: "Making others happy is compassion, making yourself happy is wisdom."
Smart people know how to please themselves. Even when things go wrong, he knows how to find reasons to be happy and comforted.
The simplest way to make yourself happy is to think more about the good in everything.
There is such a famous story, which tells the story: Once, the home of former US President Roosevelt was visited by a thief and many things were lost. One of his friends heard about it and wrote a letter to comfort him.
Roosevelt also wrote a letter back to his friend. First of all, he thanked his friend for comforting him. Then he said in the letter that he was grateful for life. Because, firstly: the thief only stole his things without harming his life; secondly: what the thief stole was only part of the things, not all of his belongings; thirdly, the most fortunate thing for him is that the thief was the thief, not himself.
Roosevelt's idea is a mentality of thinking for the best in everything. Even if he is always upset about the theft of his property, the lost property will never come back. If he keeps wallowing in troubles and depression, it will hurt both his mood and his body. It's better to think about the lucky things instead, and you will naturally feel more relieved.
In life, everyone will encounter troubles. As long as you learn to use the method of "thinking for the best in everything" to solve problems, you will have good results.
For example: When your neighbor drives a luxury car to show off in front of you, you don't have to lament your bad luck and never catch up with others. You can think of it this way: Our relationship as husband and wife is more harmonious than theirs, and my children are better and more sensible than their children. Then you feel more balanced.
When you see scenes of rich people with great wealth and power, you don’t have to feel ashamed that your family is only well-off. You should think like this: There are still many people in this society who are poor and even heavily in debt. Compared with them, we have no worries about food and clothing, and are safe and sound. Isn’t this happiness? So, you feel doubly satisfied.
Life is not easy, so why bother and torture yourself?
When the road doesn’t work, turn a corner; when things don’t make sense, change the angle; when you’re in a bad mood, adjust your mentality.
Many times, it is not the wall that blocks you in a dead end, but your own narrow and stubborn heart.
Being angry, sad, and depressed not only affects our mood, but also harms our body.
The "Huangdi Neijing " Health Care Sutra says: "Anger hurts the liver, joy hurts the heart, sadness hurts the lungs, thinking hurts the spleen, and fear hurts the kidneys."
Zhou Yu in "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms" died of vomiting blood due to anger attacking the heart. The sentimental Lin Daiyu in "A Dream of Red Mansions" was depressed and sad all day long, which led to her eventual death from lung disease.
This shows how important it is for a person to maintain a relaxed and happy mood.
Marx said: "A beautiful mood can relieve psychological fatigue and pain better than ten pairs of good medicines."
Therefore, loving yourself starts by pleasing yourself.When encountering troubles, knowing how to look at the problem from another angle and thinking more about the good is a magic weapon to keep yourself in a happy mood and a good way to keep yourself healthy.
Hong Yingming of the Ming Dynasty wrote in "Caigantan": "The years are long, but busy people are self-promoting; the world is broad, but humble people are narrow; the wind, flowers, snow and moon are free, but noisy people are redundant."
Life is beautiful, but the reason why you can't see it is because you are always burdened.
Only by letting go of the burden on your soul can you open the door to your depressed heart. Only by going out can you discover the beauty of life from multiple angles. When you discover beauty, your mood will become peaceful and peaceful.
Only when you are in a peaceful and serene mood can you truly "not be surprised by favor or disgrace, just watch the flowers blooming and falling in front of the court; stay or leave without intention, and slowly follow the clouds rolling in the sky."
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