Most people today live too tiringly, physically and mentally. I always feel that there are invisible shackles, restrains us, making unable to breathe.
saw a question like this in Zhihu : How can we live easily? The discussion in the
comment area was lively, but they were all about "advice" on how to change the environment.
In fact, many people always want to start from the external environment to find the key to unlock the shackles, but they forget that life is a contest between themselves and themselves. If they want to make life easier, they still have to start with themselves.
In the second half of life, if you want to live easily, you must allow yourself to have these three abilities.
· Throw away the burden of "I am important"
Have the wisdom to "underestimate" yourself ·
"Never overestimate your position in the hearts of others, otherwise you will be greatly disappointed." This is a wise saying from the performance artist Ying Ruocheng.
In life, low self-esteem will hinder you, and conversely, thinking too highly of yourself will also hinder you.
On the way forward in life, there is a stumbling block, which is taking oneself too seriously.
There is a colleague in the unit who is troubled every day and feels that he cannot relax for a moment, otherwise the work of the entire unit cannot be carried out.
"You really can't do anything without me, can't they learn to grow and deal with it on their own?" This is what she says most often.
She often suffers from insomnia, anxiety and irritability because she pushes herself too hard.
Friends advised her not to put too much pressure on herself and to relax properly after get off work, otherwise her body would not be able to support it.
But she always responded helplessly: "I want to rest. Do you think I can rest? Without me, no one can do the work. The work progress will be delayed, and the unit will be in chaos."
She always has endless worries, endless work arrangements, and endless overtime shifts.
Last week, she received a notice to go out for training. She was worried again after holding the notice: "I have to go out for training for a week. What will I do with my job!"
She went on a business trip worriedly and made several phone calls to the office to inquire about the situation.
A week later, she returned to her workplace and was very surprised to see the orderly office and the methodical work progress. Remember this saying: Don’t take yourself too seriously, the world will turn around without you.
Taking your own life too seriously is like a self-weight gain, which makes people slowly push themselves into a dead end in the misunderstanding of "I am important".
People who take themselves too seriously usually live a very tiring life. Therefore, you must learn to underestimate yourself appropriately and take off the "baggage" you have placed on yourself, so that you can move forward easily in life.
· Throw away the baggage of “everyone loves you”
Have the courage to be hated by others ·
I read a book some time ago called "The Courage to Be Disliked", and I understood what Ding Yuanying in "The Way of Heaven" said: "I no longer quarrel with others, because I have begun to realize that everyone can only think about problems from their own cognitive perspective." This sentence means.
In life, we are always afraid of being disliked and long for acceptance. The likes and dislikes of others are like mountains pressing on our backs, leaving us unable to breathe.
But this kind of life is too tiring, so we all need to have the courage to be hated by others.
The heroine in the movie "Calm Leisure" is a typical person who is afraid of being disliked by others.
She spends an hour every day straightening her naturally curly hair.
When working, he always carefully observes the faces of his colleagues around him and acts based on their expressions. I silently endure the work that other colleagues throw at me that does not belong to me.
Colleagues took a group photo together. In the photo, she squinted her eyes and looked very ugly. However, in order not to make everyone think she was troublesome, she did not dare to suggest that everyone take another photo.
She has a boyfriend who is not considerate of her at all and always makes fun of her in front of others, but she is afraid of being criticized and dare not break up with him.
There are too many things like this. She has successfully created a perfect image in the eyes of others, but it makes herself more and more miserable.
There are countless comments in the film reviews: This is how I am in life. In order to maintain the appearance in the eyes of others, I have been suppressing myself.
But such a life is too tiring! And even if we do this, we still can't be liked by everyone.
We can’t do something that everyone likes, so why bother forcing it, instead sacrificing our right to enjoy life.
We must have the confidence to be praised by others, and we must also have the courage to face being disliked by others, so that we can breathe freely in life.
Just like what is said in the book "The Courage to Be Disliked": "Being hated by others is an inevitable fate. Only if you have the courage to be hated can you gain freedom."
· Throw away the baggage of "old accounts"
Be calm and let things go. ·
Rabindranath Tagore wrote in his poem: "If you shed tears because you have lost the sun, then you will also lose the stars."
Only by not getting entangled in things can you free up space in your heart and welcome new things more easily.
Two days before he was a child, he met the person who once made him hate him so much.
That person was his former partner, and they jointly opened a small restaurant. Both of them are people with ideas, and they quickly managed the shop in a successful way.
But in the past two years, the store's business slowly declined, and this partner actually took away all the remaining money in the store and ran away.
This is simply adding insult to injury for friends who are already struggling. Later, with money borrowed from everywhere, my friend managed to keep the store.
Thanks to the efforts of friends, business is gradually picking up.
A few days ago, a friend ran into his former partner and calmly walked over to say hello.
"You were able to resist hitting him, but now what? Are you still angry at him?" I asked with a smile.
"I'm done with it. I'll get my money back. In fact, I'm done with it a long time ago. I was so angry that I couldn't sleep all night long because of this incident, and I almost had a mental breakdown. But torturing myself like this will change anything. It will only consume myself."
If you tear up old accounts repeatedly, you will only sink yourself deeper and make the situation worse.
"If you don't forget many things in life, life cannot continue."
Only when you know how to let the past go over can you write a new chapter.
How can we live easily?
Real relaxation is to know how to relax your spirit.
When you learn to look down upon yourself appropriately and take off the "baggage of being strong", you will find that many of your troubles are caused by yourself. A life that is already full of thorns does not need your extra drama.
When you have the courage to be hated and take off the "baggage of perfection", you will find that other people's opinions really don't matter. It is far easier and more comfortable to live your own life than to please others.
When you learn to let things go and let go of the "baggage of the past", you will find how cumbersome the things you have been struggling with are. Let go of the past and liberate your heart, only then will everything suddenly become clear.
We all want an easy life, so we must give ourselves these three abilities.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-