Text/Mohua Hi, I’m Mohua. Today is a day of distraction, let’s talk about what’s on my mind. It's the end of the year, and I have a lot of work at my job. I have been working overtime on my computer even on weekends. This process lasted for about 10 days, and only now can I feel

文/Mohua

Hi, I am Mohua.

Today is a day of distraction, let’s talk about what’s in my heart.

html It’s the end of the 3rd year. I have a lot of work at my job, and I have been working overtime on my computer even on weekends. This process lasted for about 10 days, and only now can I feel relieved.

In the past 10 days, I didn’t read much, and I didn’t do any output. I even posted only two posts in Moments.

There is still a lot of work to do in late December, but the general direction has basically been finalized, so I feel much more settled. Otherwise, the whole person's heart will be hanging on the edge, and he will not dare to relax at all, and he will not dare to set aside any energy for reading and writing as a side job.

In these short 10 days, without reading or output, I feel like 100 days have passed. Looking back at the past 10 days from this moment, I have many feelings:

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1. For life, mental strength is as important as air

I reflect on the past 10 days and have not read or output. Is it really because there is no time? Definitely not. Even if you are super busy, you can definitely find time.

I’m really tired after a busy day of work. I usually watch 10-minute short videos to relax, but why can’t I replace it with reading a 10-minute book?

The reason lies in the word "mental power". I like to read books with devotion and immersion. Even if I read a page, I have many feelings, so the whole person will be immersed in it. This requires mental effort.

When I was enveloped by the high pressure of work, my heart was tight and I didn’t dare to devote any energy to reading for fear of being greedy. After reading it for 10 minutes, I still wanted to continue reading. After reading it, I felt deeply and wanted to output, so the starting time was 30 minutes to 60 minutes.

So I choose to concentrate and get the work done first. This is a matter of principle.

2. Learn to accept and surrender to the people and things that come into your life.

I have been busy with work these days. In addition to the increase in daily work, I also added a very difficult job. I could have refused it originally, but because of the trust of the leader and because I also wanted to challenge myself, I accepted it in a daze, and it turned out to be really difficult.

The task itself was not easy, and coupled with the psychological pressure it caused, it finally consumed all the effort.

During this process, I was very upset. It would have been better if I refused at the beginning. Why didn't I follow my heart? But as the task progressed at a snail's pace, I began to slowly gain a sense of control.

I went from resistance and annoyance, to helplessness in the middle, to acceptance and surrender, and finally things made some progress.

I still think: since is here, just accept it and do it. As long as you take action, there will be progress. Things are made by people, and just thinking about it will make people want to "die".

I believe that after such a difficult thing, I will gradually accumulate abilities in this area. In the future, I can start to get started with this kind of things, which is equivalent to acquiring a new ability.

This is such a joyful thing.

3. Reading and writing are my medicine, I can’t stop.

After these days of high pressure, I can now take a breath. I can finally pick up a book and read it for a while, but not for a long time. I can also devote myself to writing about my "hypocrisy" and thoughts in the dead of night.

This feeling is like a fish returning to the water, feeling at ease.

Reading and writing are my medicine and I can’t stop. (The writing here refers to the writing part of my side job, including writing book reviews, writing random thoughts, writing reflections, etc.)

Although in the past 10 days, I had no choice but to suspend reading and writing due to lack of energy or mental strength.But extend the time line to a month, half a year, or a year. If I don't read and write, I will definitely get "sick", and it won't be a small cold, it must be a chronic disease. What we are talking about here is the inner lack and emptiness, and illness is a metaphor.

Now that I think about it, in the past few years, I have really been "taking medicine" for myself through reading and writing, so that I can relieve the pressure and burden caused by trivial matters in work and life, so that I can have a break, fully recharge myself, and throw myself into the double pressure of work and life again.

It may be a bit hypocritical to say this. Everyone is living life. Am I the most miserable and tired? It must not be the case. There are many people who work harder than me. But what I am talking about is that you must have the feeling of being led by the nose by something you don’t want to do but must do. It is a responsibility, but people cannot live just for responsibility and survival. They should have a pure habitat.

For me, reading and writing are such a habitat. This is also the reason why I can continue to do this work tirelessly even if there is no realization.

Because writing and reading have healing properties first and foremost, this is already worth a lot of money.

4. When a person is so busy that he has no time to stay, there must be something wrong.

I know that high-pressure working conditions are also beneficial. It allows me to step out of my comfort zone and do more challenging things. But if this state continues, something must be wrong somewhere. That's definitely what I'm doing that I'm not good at, but I have to do it.

I always believe that the ultimate direction of life is to add challenges and difficulties little by little on the basis of what you like and are good at. This is sustainable.

I am very busy at work, but I can’t stop reading and writing. This sentence is a reminder to myself.

Because, for life, reading and writing are sometimes not necessities. Money and survival are necessities, but this passionate thing ultimately determines the quality and depth of our lives.

Of course, it is never wrong to survive first and then grow. For me, I have passed the "survival test" and am on the road to seeking the "quality test" and "happiness test" for the next stage of life.

Therefore, I would rather be tired and take care of reading and writing after work, because I know that I will definitely go on this path that I love. It is just a matter of time, and I just need an opportunity, that's all.

Okay, that’s it for today’s thoughts.