The development of online communities has made it easier for us to get to know others and communicate with friends. It stands to reason that our lives should be more colorful and rich, but the reality is completely in the opposite direction. According to a survey by Taiwan's Ministry of Interior, the proportion and severity of loneliness among people are increasing year by year.
Because people have become less able to confirm each other's feelings, when they spend more time communicating with others in the community, it actually means that people are gradually losing the ability to communicate with others face-to-face. People are becoming more willing to package themselves, and are afraid of getting along with others because they are afraid that their real selves will not match their beautiful appearance on the Internet.
With the outbreak of the epidemic, physical social opportunities have dropped significantly in recent years, which has also led to an increasingly serious social trend of loneliness.
This kind of loneliness not only brings emotional feelings, but also suppresses the mental state through emotions, making people poor in spirit and weak in judgment. What's more, it increases the chances of heart disease and stroke. Simply put, autism will reduce our life expectancy.
So how do we get rid of loneliness? Here I would like to share with you 3 great little exercises that I saw in "Deliberate Practice for High Emotional Intelligence".
1. Eliminate false feelings
Loneliness can easily cause many biased false feelings, such as feeling that you are so bad that no one wants to be your friend. Lonely people tend to assume the worst about others and are therefore more afraid of rejection and filled with fear.
We can try to make a list of friends or acquaintances in our minds, record the details of getting along with each other and topics that can be discussed next time we meet. At the same time, we can regularly send appropriate and unpurposed messages to say hello to friends who have not been in touch or seen for a long time.
2. Find out the reasons for self-defeat
Loneliness makes us cautious and skeptical when approaching others, and our hesitation is usually easily perceived by others. For example, if your actions are evasive and your words are always polite, others will be able to sense your unfriendliness, prompting them to shy away from you.
Every time we feel frustrated in social interaction, we can take some time to think about why we feel failed in social interaction, how we can adjust our interactions with others next time, review our own behavior in social situations, and record the mistakes we may have made, such as not catching other people’s words, or talking too much, causing the other person to feel bad.
Don’t worry that you are not good enough. Not being good enough is normal. What matters is whether you will be better in the future.
3. Take the initiative to create social opportunities
If a person is lonely for a long time, it is easy to have problems in interpersonal relationships. Loneliness will make people make negative judgments in interpersonal relationships, making us more afraid of socializing with others and entering new circles. However, entering a new environment is also an opportunity to get rid of the current loneliness.
In today’s community era, there are various activities that we can participate in. Try to actively find common interest communities and school clubs. There are also many community activities with various themes on the Internet, such as reading clubs, sports, theme courses, learning exchanges... etc. Actively practice interacting with people and find partners who will walk side by side with you.
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