In the era when money is paramount, everyone seems to think that only by having money can one be happy, but without money, there is no way to be happy. But is it actually happy to have money? How much money is considered rich? Do you have specific numbers? People will never feel that they are too rich. Those rich celebrities or business tycoons are still pursuing wealth, and people will always want more. It is obviously a lie to be happy when you have money.
Happiness is actually a kind of ability, what kind of ability is it? Are you happier than me if you speak English better than me? Obviously not. This ability is a kind of cognition of happiness . It is difficult for people with the following three cognitions to have a lasting sense of happiness.
1. Extremely desire to be understood
This world does not empathize with you, only know the warmth and coldness. Everyone's soul is like a "silent ghost". He is too eager for someone in this world to understand himself 100%. It is best to have a soul mate . But the fact is that everyone has different backgrounds, different living environments, different educations, different personalities, and different experiences. One person cannot fully understand another person. may at some moments, one person can completely understand another person, and the rest of the time is the parallel line of each running . The only people who can fully understand you are liars, men cheat women of sex, and women cheat men of money. Or the scam cheats the whole world.
Extremely desire to be understood is like a beggar, and it is also a bottomless pit of energy, which can only attract people who want to bully you.
Poet Yu Xiuhua is too eager to be understood, longing to be understood by this world, longing to be understood by the man she likes, too longing to be understood by someone, longing to be understood by someone, longing to be entered into her inner world. I didn’t know her at first, but I learned about her through the hot searches of showing her affection and divorce. The more I lack something, the more I show off. After the divorce, he made extreme remarks and publicly stated that "they are very uncomfortable these days, I drink alcohol every day, and even practice death." It is difficult for a normal person to find a partner. Which man dares to approach her when he sees such remarks?
Healthy souls are more likely to encounter healthy souls. The prerequisite for health is to understand yourself first, understand yourself, and retract your desire for the outside world. If you have to desire, then ask yourself what exchange to use? Yu Xiuhua's price is not high enough. She failed her marriage and was abused by domestic violence. Now netizens don't support her very much. At the same time, she is in a bad state, and her aura reveals a "terrible" feeling. No matter what, I hope she will get better, write poetry well, make more money, and live a good life. Is it so important to be understood by men in ? ?
2. People who cannot be alone
The growth process is a process of constantly improving their ability to be alone. You cannot leave people around you when you are a child. You must have partners and roommates in college until you leave the group, get married or live alone. We must have a certain ability to be alone. We cannot feel insecure without anyone to accompany us. If we don’t do things together, we will be anxious. is afraid that the lonely magnetic field will be captured, and most of the people captured are people with bad intentions.
What kind of things can people do if they are afraid of loneliness? I have a college classmate who talked about a bad boyfriend. The man was gambling, and they also had physical contact when they quarreled. Later, they broke up, and later they heard that they got back together. Friends asked her why she got back together? She said she was so lonely when she was alone. She wanted to cry when there was no one in the room, so her friend stopped asking questions.
I once had an absolutely lonely day, eating alone, sleeping alone, and living alone. Those days were really hard, but what I am sure is that the absolutely lonely days are only one stage. Humans are social animals. We always have to contact people and connect with others. We are suitable for cultivating ourselves when we are lonely. Mediocre people fill the void with excitement, while excellent people make themselves successful by being alone.——Feng Jicai
3. Require others to love themselves unconditionally
If you have to find someone who loves you unconditionally, it can only be parents, but not all parents will love their children unconditionally. News about abandoning children, forcing their children to drop out of school, marry, and buying houses for their sons is emerging one after another. Love yourself unconditionally should be what you have to do, and now people put their expectations on their partner. No matter how good the other party does, they will never be able to satisfy themselves. is because the expectations are too high and the expectations are unreasonable. will eventually have problems when you are arrogant because of your favor. others can treat you unconditionally for a while, but they really can't do it for a lifetime. If others are kind to you, they also hope to get positive feedback. Love yourself, take back the hopes placed on others, and lower expectations. This is the key to getting happiness . improves your capital to be loved . Don’t watch too many TV series, and think that someone will like me, so you can look at the homeless people outside. How many people have stopped for them?
If there is a deviation between cognition and reality, it is easy to be unhappy. What is the secret to happiness? throw away fantasies and live down-to-earth ! Especially young people, get rid of the TV series!
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