But those who are in their thirties or forties, with old people and young people, and when they open their eyes, they have mortgages and car loans. In a circle of friends with human relationships and decent people, there is a peaceful time. Everyone is working hard to live their

Flip through the circle of friends and you will always find a very magical rule:

Those who should be at the best age, energetic and constantly working hard, the updates are either "tired" or "emo". Even if they don't say it clearly, from the songs and chicken soup shared in the circle of friends, Weibo likes at two or three in the morning, you can always observe some clues;

And those in their thirties and forties, with old people and young people, they have mortgages and car loans when they open their eyes. In a group of friends with human relationships and worldly friends, there are years of peace. Everyone is working hard to live their own well in difficult days, with few complaints, and more of them are just ordinary sharing of their own little lives.

There may be differences in personal opportunities, but behind it, the situation of a person in his thirties and forties is not better than that of a person who has just graduated or even studied.

The difference between them is actually the difference in psychological maturity and awareness brought about by experience and cognition.

Just like Lin Huiyin's book says:

"The cat in the alley is very free but has no home. The dog in the wall has a home and has to bow his head for life."

Anxiety everyone has, but life is already so tired. The important thing is not to be blinded by fake anxiety. A candied fruit B is arsenic. Everyone has different time zones. It is not advisable to put it on the ground. It is also not smart to consume it.

01

The original sin of anxiety

Some time ago, I heard a friend who failed to invest a few years ago and not only lost all his money, but also was responsible for millions of complaints:

" I have many anxious friends around me. They are obviously not short of food and clothing, and even their family background is not bad, but I don’t know what they are anxious about day by day.

I used to be tired of enlightening them, but then I thought about it, I am just a barefoot person who wears shoes, which makes us have some problems in our minds. "

Listen to his self-deprecating self-deprecation, but who is not anxious these days?

But it is also like the talk show conference, actor Jiang Zihao said:

I don’t know when it started. Every year, there are so many very outstanding and successful people, who are in their twenties, succeed in their youth and make a lot of money. The appearance of

makes many people think that I am doing very poorly and failing.

In fact, you are just ordinary. You are a young man in his twenties who is working in a foreign land. Ordinary and ordinary are the norm, and becoming famous and getting rich are perverts!

Shouldn’t normal people be like me? How could there be so much money? They all demolished the east wall and repaired the west wall, and some even demolished all four walls.

But we are competing with others while secretly worrying that our lives will fall into some kind of dilemma. Once you see that everyone's life in your circle of friends is better than yourself, you will instantly be anxious and have goosebumps.

These anxieties are not physical, but more mentally torture that he has no one. The original sin behind all this is not that I am not doing well enough, but that I am not doing well as others.

02

Anxiety is not the period, but the dash

On Zhihu , I have seen a post like this:

1 "Me: What if I haven't passed the exam?

My mom: Then you can try other jobs.

Me: What if I give myself two years first and settle down my own doctoral exam?

My mom: As long as this is what you want to do, I support it.

Me: What about other people gossiping?

My mother: You have worked hard for so many years, what's wrong with delaying for two years? I respect your choice, don't be under pressure! "

Real life is indeed the case. Although there is pressure everywhere, a lot of anxiety is given to yourself. No one has ever forced you to do anything. Why should we obsess over what we have not done yet?

Someone said that I was just anxious for a moment, and when I did it, I would completely relax.

But in the end, In the past, it is the excitement and ecstasy when things that have been obsessed with for a long time, but it is just the moment of completion. In the future, it will still be diluted by the anxiety that comes as promised again.

Filling and thinking about lust. As long as the desire continues, anxiety will never be interrupted.

So the completion of anxiety is not the end, but the dash. Those so-called better work and life will redefine your anxiety.

03

Life is just the three words "most suitable"

In fact, I was also very anxious in the past. Seeing my classmates working hard in big cities, spreading their houses and cars one by one, and their lives are booming, I was worried that I might have to hand in the blank papers in the word "stability".

But when I shared my article award records and shared my leisurely life, my classmates would also leave a message saying:

"I really envy you for having your own moments and making certain achievements in your interests and hobbies. "

It turns out that while I envy other people's lives, my life is also an enviable scenery in the eyes of others.

In life, we have a lot of anxiety, especially the younger we are, the less we experience, the more likely we fall into the vicious circle of anxiety.

But what we see in our circle of friends is just the side that others choose to let us see, and everyone will have unknown sadness.

There is no life in this world that is "best". What we are pursuing hard is just "the most suitable" It's just three words.

Life is like the A-B side of a tape. We can only choose one side to listen. Grab what you think is the most important. Don't be too anxious. We all have to believe that we can't have everything, but we can't have nothing.

When we were young, it might be difficult for us to have the transparency of middle-aged people, but less unnecessary anxiety and internal friction will always help our future more, so we will be more likely to have happiness.